Flat Out Crazy!

Edith Harper, the waitress who was treated rudely by actor Bobby Carr is interviewed by entertainment reporter Sandy Stone. After the interview is over, she goes into the bathroom to call her mother and brag about how much she stands to get from a lawsuit against Carr. She is suddenly ambushed by a one-dimensional woman. After a bright flash of light, the one-dimensional woman is now three dimensional, while Edith Harper has been fatally flattened. Meanwhile, Bobby Carr is emerging from a hotel in SoHo where he is ambushed by a paparazzi photographer named Frankie Kollins. Carr smashes the camera, injuring Collins. However, this altercation is photographed by Peter Parker from the side of a building. When Bobby orders his bodyguards to get Parker, Peter has slipped away by the time they get to the alley. Meanwhile, Bobby’s agent Sean Rockwell gives Frankie Kollins his card. After, Rockwell calls Dexter Bennett to tell him that everything happened as planned, and found it impressive that Bennett thought to send two photographers in order to get a reaction out of Bobby Carr.

Later that day, J. Jonah Jameson is at the Coffee Bean and is furious to learn that they won’t serve him anything caffeinated from the menu. Jameson demands to speak to the manager and is met by Harry Osborn. Harry tells Jonah that his wife, Marla Madison, came in and asked that they not serve Jameson anything with caffeine in it due to his heart problem.[1] When Peter Parker arrives to pay back Harry Osborn the money he owes him, he gets a cold reception. Harry is furious that Peter has become a paparazzi, telling Parker how he was hounded by them for years and it took running to Europe to get them off his case.[2] When Harry asks when Peter will point his camera at him, Peter tries to tell Harry that he’s only going after jerks like Bobby Carr and he’s not causing any harm.

Meanwhile, Carlie Cooper has been called in to recover the body of Edith Harper. As the police are cleaning up the scene, Betty Brant arrives to cover the story for the DB! When she learns that the victim was literally flattened she rushes back to the paper to report the story. While at the DB, Dexter Bennett congratulates Peter for the shots of Bobby Carr’s latest public blunder and is awarded a cheese basket for a job well done. On his way out, Peter stops to see what Joe Robertson and Betty Brant are up to and learns about what happened to Edith Harper. Joe thinks that the DB is partially to blame since they turned Harper into an instant celebrity and hopes this doesn’t happen again. Starting to feel guilty over this, all Peter can think about is Frankie Kollins, who was photographed today.

Later that evening, Spider-Man finds himself keeping an eye on Frankie Kollins which takes him to another celebrity affair. As Frankie photographs this scene, he is suddenly attacked by the one-dimensional woman from earlier. Spider-Man leaps in to save him, sending himself and the woman — whom Spider-Man dubs Paper Doll — into a 60’s art exhibit. As Spider-Man battles Paper Doll he is mortified to see that Frankie has come into the museum to photograph the battle. In the ensuing battle, Paper Doll almost gets Frankie but ends up using her powers to flatten a statue after Spider-Man pulls Kollins to safety. Fearing for his life, and learning that Paper Doll is trying to avenge Bobby Carr, Frankie vows to drop his lawsuit and restraining order. This is enough tom ake Paper Doll to stop her attack and flee the scene. However, instead of praising Spider-Man for saving his life, Frankie Kollins tells the media that he as afraid for his life because Spider-Man is accused of being the spider-tracer killer.[3] Still, Spider-Man doesn’t like the idea of a killer being on the loose and decides to pay a visit to Carlie Cooper down at the coroner’s office to learn what happened to Edith Haprer. Carlie tells PEter that her entire body was compressed resulting in her death by suffocation because her lungs could no longer provide enough oxygen to survive.

Meanwhile, Sean Rockwell calls Dexter Bennett and says he won’t be tipping the DB off with any more stories until after the Paper Doll situation blows over. When he gets off the phone Rockwell is ambushed by Paper Doll who kills him for betraying Bobby Carr. At that same moment, Bobby Carr returns to his mansion to enjoy a weekend alone with Mary Jane Watson.

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, Paper Doll, Edith Harper, Bobby Carr, Frankie Kollins, Dexter Bennett, J. Jonah Jameson, Harry Osborn, Carlie Cooper, Vin Gonzales, Alan O’Neil, Quentin Palone, Joe Robertson, Betty Brant, Sandy Stone, Mary Jane Watson

Continuity Notes

1. J. Jonah Jameson suffered a heart attack in Amazing Spider-Man #546. He only recently got out of the hospital in Amazing Spider-Man #558.

2. Harry mentions his past drug addictions. Harry got hooked on drugs back in Amazing Spider-Man #96-98, resulting in a drug overdose. He later had a relapse in Amazing Spider-Man #119-121. Harry also mentions how he spent time in Europe. Harry went to Europe following his near-death experience in Spectacular Spider-Man #200, the details of his time in Europe are detailed in Amazing Spider-Man #581-582.

3. Spider-Man has been accused of being responsible for the so-called spider-tracer killings since Amazing Spider-Man #548.