Old Huntin’ Buddies

Part 1

In Upstate New York, a man named Carlos has come to pick up a briefcase with a weapon developed by Moses Magnum. The pick up is interrupted when a bomb-squad robot — modified by the Punisher — comes crashing in and begins opening fire on the gathered mobsters. While the pick-up man tries to get away, the real Punisher ambushes him and takes him, prisoner, intent to know what Magnum has placed in the briefcase. As he leaves, the Punisher activates the self-destruct system on the robot blowing up the mobster’s mansion.

The following morning, Peter Parker is taking a driving test which he is failing spectacularly thanks to his poor driving skills and the fact that his sense of direction has been hampered by years of web-slinging across the city, which doesn’t translate so well when navigating the streets below. After flunking the exam, the instructor hands Peter a bunch of books to study. Peter thinks about how he needs to get a second job to be able to pay his bills since the Front Line doesn’t pay as well as the DB, and a job driving a taxi could be his ticket to earning a reasonable living.[1] Peter’s thoughts are interrupted when he literally bumps into the Punisher who, not realizing he’s speaking to Spider-Man, tells Parker to watch where the fuck he’s going. Not liking how the Punisher kills his targets, Peter leaves his books with a hot dog vendor so he can follow after the vigilante as Spider-Man.

The Punisher has retreated back to his hideout, a warehouse in Far Rockaway, where he watches footage of one of Moses Magnum’s latest weapons offerings.[2] The video shows Magnum demonstrating his new version of the drug Mutant Growth Hormone. This version of MGH has been infused with gamma radiation for faster and more predictable results. Spider-Man is lowering himself into the room as the video shows innocent people getting killed on video. This horrifies the wall-crawler who is too distracted by the horrific images on the video to act when the Punisher notices his presence and whirls around with guns drawn. Realizing that it’s just Spider-Man, the Punisher tells the wall-crawler to go home since this case is out of his wheelhouse. Spider-Man points out that Moses Magnum has powers now, the Punisher isn’t concerned figuring he can kill anything that bleeds, powers or no powers.[3] In fact, the Punisher anticipates Magnum will be coming for him after he crippled the weapon’s dealers operations in North America and stole an experimental serum he was attempting to obtain. However, Spider-Man refuses to let the Punisher kill any more people. Anticipating this, the Punisher has put on earplug sand activates a bank of large speakers to bombard the web-slinger with a high pitched scream. He then incapacitates Spider-Man, but as he is about to wrap the hero up in netting Moses Magnum and his men come blasting through the front door. Magnum is less than happy having to deal with the Punisher again and orders the vigilante to return what is his or his men will open fire.

Before the bullets start to fly, the Punisher swallows one of Spider-Man’s spider-tracers and sends the wall-crawler into the Lower Bay moments before the exchange of gunfire causes the warehouse to collapse.

Interlude

J. Jonah Jameson is getting ready to face the day when suddenly, the criminal known as the Bookie comes barging into Jameson’s apartment accusing him of being the spider-tracer killer.[4] The Bookie begins laying out his case, saying that through his connections in the NYPD he learns that the spider-tracers that were lifted from the bodies work just like the ones used by Spider-Man. He figures that the real killer would need a lot of money to be able to replicate the technology in each spider-tracer, pointing to someone wealthy, like Jameson, who used to own the Daily Bugle.[5] A simple feat, particularly since in the past, Jameson bankrolled the creation of a number of Spider-Slayers.[6] Another clue that the Bookie thinks proves Jameson is the killer is the fact that Jameson suffered a series of heart attacks around the time the bodies started turning up. The next clue that the Bookie has is the fact that the most recent victim, Julia Delphi, was part of the campaign to elect Bill Hollister as mayor of New York. Before her death, Delphi wrote Jameson a terse letter to Jameson asking him not to associate himself with the Hollister, and thus the motive to kill Julia.

Jameson is surprised that his blood pressure hasn’t risen through all of these wild accusations and calmly explains why the Bookie’s theory is bunk. Pulling up his shirt, he shows all the scars on his chest where doctors operated on him following his heart attacks. Jonah explains that suffered an aortal rupture requiring extensive surgery and four weeks in intensive care. He has since been spending his time trying to change his lifestyle habits in order to improve his health. He also started repeating a mantra, promising himself that he would not die before Spider-Man, and this got him through the hardest parts of his recovery. Seeing how he is reacting to this all now convinces Jonah that all his hard work has paid off. Jameson then pulls out a taser and incapacitates the Bookie before throwing the intruder out of his apartment.

It’s then that the Bookie suddenly realizes that he knows who is actually responsible for the spider-tracer killer and that this knowledge will make him rich.

Part 2

Spider-Man regains consciousness as he sinks to the bottom of the Lower Bay. With his spider-sense buzzing, the wall-crawler quickly swims to the surface before he suffocates.

Meanwhile, having captured the Punisher, Moses Magnum has his men give the vigilante the water torture. However, they are unnerved when the Punisher doesn’t even flinch at their torture. By this point, Spider-Man has gotten to shore and realizes that the buzzing in his head is his spider-sense picking up one of his spider-tracers. Detecting the signal is coming from a nearby garbage scow, Spider-Man commandeers a boat of his own to catch up with the vessel. While this is happening, Moses Magnum becomes personally involved in the interrogation with the Punisher. As Moses demands to know where the stolen serum is, the Punisher digs a tiny metal object out of one of his wounds — the container holding the serum. That’s when Spider-Man arrives and begins acting the goons on the upper decks of the ship.

Down below, Magnum refuses to believe that the Punisher flushes the formula down the toilet, figuring the vigilante would have wanted to try it out on himself. Hearing how it would allow the Punisher to go on indiscriminately killing everything in his path this convinces the Punisher to crush the sample instead of injecting it into himself. That’s when Spider-Man comes crashing in, allowing the Punisher to break free from his bonds. As the wall-crawler prevents the Punisher from killing Magnum’s goons, the villain attempts to use his earthquake powers but realizes too late that they won’t have any effect given they are on a boat in the middle of the ocean. Spider-Man then knocks out Magnum with a single punch and webs him up. When the Punisher tasks if he can kill Magnum, Spider-Man refuses to let him do so.

On their way back to shore, Spider-Man asks the Punisher why he didn’t use Magnum’s serum to save his life. Castle explains that nobody knows what is inside him and he destroyed the serum instead of taking it so people wouldn’t find out. Deciding to leave, the Punisher shoots Magnum in the stomach forcing Spider-Man to administer immediate medical attention to save Magnum’s life while the Punisher escapes in the speedboat that Spider-Man used to stage his rescue. Shocked that Spider-Man is saving his life, Magnum figures it must be frustrating for the wall-crawler to do so. The wall-crawler admits that while Magnum may be right, it beats driving a cab.

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, Punisher, Moses Magnum, J. Jonah Jameson, Bookie

Continuity Notes

1. Peter Parker worked for the Daily Bugle almost consistently since they fired hired him back in Amazing Spider-Man #2. However, the paper changed ownership in Amazing Spider-Man #547 and was rebranded the DB. Dexter Bennett, the new owner, fired Peter for refusing to be a paparazzi in Amazing Spider-Man #561. Peter was hired on as a freelance photographer for the Front Line in Amazing Spider-Man #568. Peter’s thoughts about earning $400 a day as a cab driver in New York should be considered a topical reference per the Sliding Timescale.

2. This footage is shown as being stored on a DVD. This should be considered a topical reference per the Sliding Timescale of Earth-616. While DVD’s were ubiquitous in 2009, they have somewhat fallen out of more common usage over superior formats. At the time of this writing (May 2020) you can still go out and buy something on DVD, but this format will eventually become obsolete sooner or later.

3. Both Spider-Man and the Punisher battled Moses Magnum before he got powers back in Giant-Size Spider-Man #4. Magnum started exhibiting powers following he encounters with Luke Cage in Powerman Annual #1. It was later revealed in Classic X-Men #25 that Apocalypse gave Moses Magnum his powers.

4. The so-called spider-tracer killings refer to a number of dead bodies that have turned up around New York City with spider-tracers on their bodies. The first grisly discovery was made back in Amazing Spider-Man #547. This whole time Spider-Man has been accused of the killings. No, J. Jonah Jameson is not behind them either. The Bookie has been interested in the killings since Amazing Spider-Man #562-563.

5. After Jonah suffered a heart attack in Amazing Spider-Man #546, his wife sold the Bugle to Dexter Bennett in the following issue.

6. J. Jonah Jameson bankrolled a number of the Spider-Slayers starting with the original build by Spencer Smythe in Amazing Spider-Man #25. The ones that are seen in the flashbacks are two models that were bankrolled by Jameson. The first is the model 4, built by Spencer Smythe in Amazing Spider-Man #106. The other is the 5th model that was built by Jameson’s future wife Marla Madison in Amazing Spider-Man #166.