The Girl

The Bahamas, Six Weeks Ago

Mary Jane is on the set of her new film Captain Fate IV when the crew is preparing for a rope swinging stunt. When she points out that the rope isn’t long enough for the stunt actors to swing from the ship’s crows nest to a nearby tower window she is ignored. However, she is proven right when the two stunt performers slam into the side of the tower. When a break is called, Mary Jane returns to her trailer to go over some scripts that were sent to her. She calls her agent to express her disappointment, pointing out that all of the scripts have her playing the same role — they are all playing the role of the female co-star that must be rescued. Her agent then suggests auditioning for an upcoming reality TV show in New York. Mary Jane is about to reject it when she finds a wedding invitation for May Parker and Jay Jameson. Included with it is a note from her Aunt Anna asking Mary Jane to let go of her bad blood with Peter in order to come and celebrate May’s big day.[1]

Taking a flight back to Los Angeles, Mary Jane thinks about the moment where she and Peter broke up. Peter had been missing for four days without any word leaving Mary Jane to wonder if he was dead or alive. Having grown fed up of Peter’s constantly being away as Spider-Man, she lays into him. She explains that because Peter has a secret identity, so does she, only her is worse since she can’t share her secret with anyone else.[2] Once she lands, Mary Jane sends a response saying she won’t be attending the wedding.

She then goes to the mansion of her new boyfriend, Bobby Carr, she catches him injecting something into himself. When she asks him what he’s doing, Bobby changes her attention away from his drug use by telling her that he landed the role of Captain America in the new film The Day America Died.[3] After a romantic moment alone, the pair decide to go out on the town to celebrate. They go to a trendy dance club when Bobby excuses himself to take a phone call. As it turns out, Bobby is being pressured by the Drug Enforcement Agency to reveal the identity of the person dealing him Mutant Growth Hormone. The agent in charge of his case is growing impatient and threatens to have Bobby arrested for smuggling MGH through JFK International Airport, a revelation that will ruin his career.[4]

At that same moment, the White Rabbit — Bobby’s MGH dealer — and her minions have arrived at the club, and after they deal with security pump a knock out gas into the club. Inside, White Rabbit wakes up Bobby and tells him that she knows he has been talking to the DEA and threatens to kill him. Fearing for his life and hopped up on MGH, Bobby fights free and flees the scene. Sending her minions after him, one of White Rabbit’s minions is knocked out by Mary Jane while checking the lady’s room. Disappointed that she is playing the damsel in distress again, Mary Jane quickly disguises herself in the minion’s Alice costume and finds Bobby who has just been cornered by White Rabbit and her men. This scene causes her to think back to the day she and Peter broke up. After being scolded, Peter took off his mask and admits that he can’t just quit being Spider-Man, as he has tried before and failed.[5] He tells her that he needs to be Spider-Man, and Mary Jane refuses to listen to another speech about his guilt over the death of his Uncle Ben, telling Peter that he can’t let one moment control his entire life.[6] Still, Peter says that if Mary Jane ever finds herself in a similar position where she could act, he hopes that she doesn’t do what he did — which was nothing — saying that it is the worst feeling in the world and one he wouldn’t wish upon his worst enemy, let alone the woman he loves most. Finding herself in just such a situation, Mary Jane realizes that she can’t just leave Bobby at the mercy of White Rabbit. Attacking one of White Rabbit’s men with a chair, Mary Jane pulls Bobby away and the pair manage to flee outside together where the authorities are waiting outside.

As the police take White Rabbit and her men into custody, she gets Bobby Carr to explain why White Rabbit —known to deal drugs to celebrities — was after him. That’s when Bobby reveals that he was using MGH to bulk up so he could land the role of Captain America. Mary Jane is shocked and disgusted by this, but Bobby tries to justify it by saying that he needs to do whatever he can to remain relevant in Hollywood. He points out that she should know that being an ex-model on her last legs, otherwise why would she be dating him. This comes as an insult and Mary Jane realizes that her relationship with Bobby is not unlike her romance with Peter Parker and she decides she is done with it. As she walks away, Bobby pleads with her to stay, saying that they have to have a united front on this situation, however, these concerns fall on deaf ears.

A short time later, Mary Jane is auditioning for a new fashion reality TV show called Sewen Up. They ask her why she left Los Angeles to return to New York, and the subject of her ending her relationship with Bobby Carr is brought up. Mary Jane explains that she was playing the role of “that girl” and wanted to play a role that she knows she can play, that of herself. She then goes on to say that when people make a bad choice they go in the wrong direction. Her wrong direction was going to Los Angeles, and she now realizes that her biggest mistake was leaving New York. Now that she’s back, she has decided not to let one moment control her entire life. Not long after this, Mary Jane arrives at Aunt May’s wedding just in time to catch the bouquet.[7]

Recurring Characters

Mary Jane Watson, White Rabbit, Bobby Carr, Aunt May, Jay Jameson, Anna Watson, Spider-Man (flashback)

Continuity Notes

1. Anna Watson is referring to Mary Jane’s recent break-up with Peter Parker. The pair have been separated since Amazing Spider-Man #545.

2. Mary Jane’s frustration is warranted as, at the time, Peter had Doctor Strange wipe out everyone’s memory of Peter Parker’s double-identity, as seen in Amazing Spider-Man #641. Prior to that, Mary Jane could talk to Aunt May, members of the New Avengers, or the Fantastic Four about Peter’s double life as they all knew Peter’s identities since Amazing Spider-Man (vol. 2) #35, New Avengers #1, and Spider-Man/Human Torch #5 respectively.

3. At the time of this story, Steve Rogers — the original Captain America — was shot to death in Captain America (vol. 5) #25. He will be resurrected in Captain America: Reborn #1-5.

4. The DEA agent mentions how Bobby’s arrest would end up on both the celebrity gossip website TMZ as well as Teen Beat magazine. Both of these are real-world publications and their references here should be considered topical. The reference to Teen Beat is particularly dated as that magazine had ceased publication three years prior to this comic being published.

5. Peter has tried to quit being Spider-Man for Mary Jane and his relationship following the events of Spider-Man #98. It didn’t last very long as Peter was back wearing the webs again in Amazing Spider-Man (vol. 2) #2. Mary Jane didn’t find out until much later in Amazing Spider-Man (vol. 2) #10 and she was pissed. Why yes, Peter and Mary Jane’s relationship was a broken record, thanks for noticing!

6. I am glad Mary Jane is also sick of Peter always whining about poor dead Uncle Ben. Amazing Fantasy #15. Cue Toby.

7. May Parler and Jay Jameson’s wedding happened in Amazing Spider-Man #600.

Models Stink

Peter Parker has been invited to a taping of Mary Jane’s new show, Sewen Up, which is displaying sexy redesigns for some of the most popular superheroes in the city. Joining him are Harry Osborn and his cousins Amy and Amanda Reily. As his cousin ribs him for information about his past relationship with Mary Jane, Peter notices that one of the models is dressed up as the Black Cat and is reminded of how he and the Cat also used to have a relationship as well.[1] His cousins then wonder how Peter’s current girlfriend doesn’t feel jealous about Peter’s ex, but Peter insists he doesn’t have a girlfriend even though he has been ignoring calls and text messages from Michele Gonzales.[2] The final straw is when Michele manages to get one of the people on the set to put a call to Peter Parker to get into contact with her over the PA system.

As Peter rushes off the set, he is unaware that he is being observed by the Raptor. The Raptor has followed Peter from Boston, thinking that he is Ben Reilly, the man he blames for murdering his wife and children.[3] That’s when he spots Harry Osborn exiting the set with Amy Reilly. Overhearing the two of them discussing keeping their romance a secret, Raptor decides to get revenge against “Ben Reilly” by going after his family, just like Reilly did to his.

When Peter goes home he confronts Michele who is upset with Peter as she planned on introducing him to her parents. When he insists that they are not dating, she demands an explanation as to why he has been acting hot and cold with her over the past few days. Deciding that his secret identity be damned, he tells her how the Chameleon took his place for a day and it was him that she made out with recently. After hearing this, Michele thinks Peter is making up a bullshit story to break up with her and punches him in the face for being a coward before storming out of the apartment. Laying on the floor, Peter admits to himself that his spider-sense would have allowed him to dodge the blow, but he is enjoying the first bit of peace and quiet he has had in days.

Recurring Characters

Peter Parker, Mary Jane Watson, Harry Osborn, Amy Reilly, Amanda Reilly, Michele Gonzales, Raptor

Continuity Notes

1. Spider-Masn and the Black Cat dated from Peter Parker, the Spectacular Spider-Man #75 to 100. They broke up after Peter found out that the Cat had gone to the Kingpin to get superhuman powers circa Peter Parker, The Spectacular Spider-Man #89.

2. Michele is Peter’s roommate and after getting drunk during Aunt May’s wedding the pair ended up sleeping together as seen in Amazing Spider-Man #601. As the morning after was such a disaster, Michele tried to get Peter to move out. However, at the time Peter was being impersonated by the Chameleon who convinced Michele to start a romance instead as we saw in Amazing Spider-Man #602-603.

3. Raptor first went after Peter Parker while Peter was celebrating Aunt May’s engagement in Boston in Amazing Spider-Man Annual #36. The full story behind Ben Reilly’s allegedly murdering Raptor’s family is detailed in Amazing Spider-Man #608-610.

Match.Con

Doing some batting practice in Central Parker, Peter Parker lets himself slip into an old fantasy he had since he was a kid, where he is a member of the New York Mets and it’s the bottom of the 9th during game 7 of the World Series and Peter is at-bat and his hit will make or break the game. This fantasy is instantly shattered when Harry tells Peter that he needs to get over Mary Jane. Harry points out that other than his ill-advised dalliance with Michele Gonzales, Harry can’t think of the last time Peter went on a date and that he should start dating again. Back at Peter’s apartment, Harry has Peter sign up for an account on a dating website, something that Peter finds humiliating. Peter goes through the profiles of various women and can’t find a single one he likes.[1] After an entire evening looking at profiles, Harry has to leave to run the Coffee Bean and admits there must be something to the “Parker Luck” that Peter complains about all the time. As he leaves, Harry suggests the meet up that afternoon.

Later that day, Peter is out as Spider-Man and stops a bank robber who has used a high tech gauntlet to commit his crime. Spider-Man makes short work of the crook and returns the stolen loot to the high-end jewelry store he held up. The clerk, a woman named Danielle, finds Spider-Man funny and the wall-crawler becomes bashful when he notices how attractive she is. Since they are hitting it off, Peter decides to take a risk and ask Danielle out on a date — as Spider-Man. Since he can’t reveal his secret identity, Spider-Man suggests that they meet on the roof of the building that evening. He then takes off as the police start arriving on the scene.

At noon, Peter swings by the Coffee Bean so he and Harry can go out for lunch. He tells Harry how he has a date that evening and as they leave, Peter bumps into Michelle. He almost blows his cover by calling her by name, but makes up some excuse that he is good at guessing names. This works, but Danielle is creeped out by the experience.

That evening, Spider-Man is on his way to meet with Danielle and has a moment where he considers bailing on her and decides against it when he finds her waiting on the roof. The pair have a hard time trying to figure out what to do considering Spider-Man is wanted for not being a registered super-hero.[2] Things take a turn when Spider-Man learns that not only does Danielle not see this as a date, but she has a boyfriend, and the only reason she agreed to meet with Spider-Man was so she could get his autograph for said boyfriend.

Late that evening, Peter meets with Harry at his apartment again and admits that his profile is a bust. When Peter starts looking at online profiles again Harry quickly falls asleep and Michele starts yelling at him to stop using her wifi.

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, Harry Osborn, Michele Gonzales (voice only)

Continuity Notes

1. When Harry tries to introduce himself to Michele Gonzales, she says “Shut it, American Son!” This is a reference to Amazing Spider-Man #595-599 when Harry’s father Norman Osborn attempted to recruit Harry into his Avengers team as the American Son. It didn’t go so well.

2. Although Spider-Man initially supported the SHRA in Civil War #2, he later denounced the Act in Amazing Spider-Man #535, makng him an outlaw.