Serpents of the World Unite!

After some combat training with the Black Knight and Starfox, Captain America changes to his civilian guise and heads home. Riding the subway, he wonders what new career direction he should take with his artistic career. Overhearing some kids excitingly talking about comic books, Steve recalls that the Avengers license out their adventures to Marvel Comics and decides to try to break into the comic book industry.[1]

After buying some comic books, Steve heads down to Greenwich Village to the glass shop owned by his fiancée, Bernie Rosenthal. The business is shutting down because her landlord is inflating the rent and after Steve tells Bernie about his latest idea he gets to work helping her pack things up.

Later that day, in the conference room at an upscale New York hotel, Sidewinder has called gathered a group of serpent themed supervillains. They include Anaconda, Black Mamba, Death Adder, Cottonmouth, Diamondback, Bushmaster, the Constrictor, the Cobra, Asp, and the Rattler. Sidewinder has called them all together to make a business proposition. He then details his idea to form a union of snake themed super-villains. This Serpent Society would contract themselves out to criminal organizations for a commission, promising guaranteed wages, benefits, and a pension. The only person uninterested is the Constrictor, who already makes a decent living as a mercenary for hire and asks what Sidewinder can offer that he doesn’t already have. Sidewinder sweetens the pot by saying that if any of them are captured he can free them from incarceration in moments thanks his teleportation abilities. The Constrictor still isn’t interested and walks out on the meeting. Everyone else remains and Sidewinder hands out the paperwork that outlines his plans.

Outside, the Constrictor comes to the conclusion that the Serpent Society could affect his ability to get work and decides to call the Avengers hotline and report their gathering.

Back upstairs, Sidewinder is pleased that everyone unanimously is on board with his plan and already has their first assignments ready to go and begins pairing everyone off into teams of three. When Anaconda, Rattler and Cobra head out, the Constrictor is annoyed that the Avengers haven’t shown up yet and decides to follow the trio by hitching a ride on the roof of their van.

Meanwhile, back in Brooklyn, Steve Rogers is hard at work drawing up some sample pages to show off his talent. Having examined the artwork in the latest issues of Captain America, he believes that the work is a little off and believes his own experience as the titular hero will allow him to add the right level of realism. After his first few pages of examples, Steve calls Marvel and arranges a meeting to show off his work.

By this time, Anaconda and her comrades arrive outside the abandoned Brand Corporation facility. The Constrictor, still annoyed that the Avengers haven’t shown up yet, goes to find another payphone to call the Avengers hotline again. This call prompts Jarvis to call Steve Rogers at home and tell him of the report which he decides to investigate on his own since the rest of the team is currently busy.[2] When he arrives as Captain America, Steve catches Anaconda, the Cobra, and Rattler trying to steal the device that the Brand Corporation used to give Anaconda her powers.[3] She tells the others to load up the gear while she tries to deal with Captain America with her elongated limbs.[4]

Although she is much stronger than Captain America, Anaconda is no match for his fighting skill and he quickly knocks her out. While the Avenger is busy with her, the Cobra and Rattler flee the scene with the stolen device. When they return to Sidewinder, he tells them that they did the right thing as he can easily free Anaconda from jail. Sure enough, after he does, Anaconda tracks down the Constrictor. Having the Cobra — out of costume — lure Constrictor out into an alley with the offer of a job, Anaconda beats him within an inch of his life.

Meanwhile, back in Brooklyn, Steve Rogers returns home to show off his artwork to Bernie. Taking a look at his drawings she admits that it is pretty good and figures he’s got a good shot at scoring a job with Marvel Comics.

Recurring Characters

Captain America, Serpent Society (Cobra, Anaconda, Asp, Black Mamba, Bushmaster, Cottonmouth, Death Adder, Diamondback, Princess Python, Rattler, Sidewinder), Bernie Rosenthal, Constrictor, Black Knight, Starfox, Ann Brennan, Edwin Jarvis

Continuity Notes

1. Marvel Comics exists in the Prime Marvel Universe. In universe the company publishes officially licensed comic books based on the adventures of Earth’s superheroes. This has been the status quo since Fantastic Four #10.

2. Steve recounts how he was just recently at the Brand Corporation building. That was when he was helping the Luther Manning clone rescue Deathlok. See Captain America #286-289.

3. Anaconda was given her powers so she, Sidewinder, Black Mamba, and Death Adder could recover the Serpent Crown for Roxxon. See Marvel Two-In-One #64-66.

4. The Cobra recounts how he has fought Captain America in the past. He has done so many times in Captain America #’s 163, and 180-182.

Topical References

• Steve Rogers is depicted calling Marvel Comics and asking them to see his artwork. Back in the 1980s it was still very common for Marvel to accept unsolicited artwork and story ideas. However, these days — particularly after they were bought by Disney — they absolutely no longer accept unsolicited story ideas or artwork. Rather, they observe the indie publishers for who is making waves and poach the talent. I wonder how many people have read this comic since that shift and sent artwork only to be firmly rejected because that’s not how shit is done anymore.

• Also Steve Rogers buys five comic books for $3.25 at a newsstand. Comic books cost 65 cents each back when this comic book was published (must have been nice). If you’ve bought a physical comic book recently, you know why this is topical. Even adjusting for inflation ($8.35 in 2021 money) you couldn’t get five comics for that price. Isn’t capitalism great?