Weird Tales of the Wee Males

At the Lee School, Jeff Mace has finished reading to his class the story "Gulliver's Travels". One of his students questions the realism behind the story and he relates to them one of Captain America's most recent adventures....

Returning from an expedition up North, Captain America's plane stalls and crashes in the mountains below. Cap survives the crash but is knocked unconscious. He is discovered by the Teeny-Weeny People, a secret society of tiny humanoids. King Teeny has the doctor of their kingdom examine the giant man and he is determined to be alive. The King then orders his people to bring Captain America to their secret kingdom hidden in a cave within the mountains.

When Captain America is brought into the village the Teeny-Weeny People are at odds what to do about him as they want to keep their world secret. Captain America soon comes around and is surprised to see he is in a city of tiny people but assures them that he has no reason to harm them. Grabbing King Teeny, Captain America and the King exchange stories and Cap learns about their kingdom. While most people are content that Captain America is no threat, Prime Minister Grinko comes forth and and accuses Captain America of being an ill omen that will bring giants to their land who will destroy their home. Nobody pays Grinko mind, and so the evil little man decides to cause a flood to blame on Captain America. Knocking away a boulder that keeps a torrent of water at bay, the city begins flooding and Grinko gathers a rabble to accuse Captain America of being responsible for the flooding.

Captain America quickly finds the source of the flood and plugs it again. However when he returns to the village of the Teeny-Weeny People, public opinion of him has changed and Grinko has managed to oust Tiny from his position of royalty. When Grinko attempts to lead an army against Captain America, the hero grabs the tiny terror and forces him to admit the truth. Realizing the errors of their way, the Teeny-Weeny People oust Grinko and reinstall King Tiny as their leader. With the crisis over, Captain America decides to leave and promises to King Tiny that he will keep the location of their kingdom a secret.

... After telling his story, Jeff dismisses his class, and the girl who questioned him says goodbye, almost calling him "Captain America", leaving Jeff to wonder if she figured out his secret identity.

Recurring Characters

Captain America

Continuity Notes

• Per What If? #4, all appearances of Captain America in this issue are attributed to Jeff Mace.

No Man Is An Island

While out fishing in the Bahamas, Captain America is caught in a storm and is forced to seek shelter on what he believes to be an abandoned island. Instead he finds the home of John Barton, an elderly hermit who hears voices of those he has wronged accusing him, and fears that somebody will die again and soon. Seeking to comfort the troubled man, Captain America asks John to tell his story...

John tells his story which begins after he graduated his senior year with high honours. He began working for the Ajax Engineering Company. He also began dating a girl named Anne Johnson and the two were soon engaged to be married. Anne took care of her ageing mother, and John soon found himself terribly jealous of any man who paid attention to her. One night while they were at a dance together, John became incredibly angry when Anne danced with another man and they had an argument. One weekend while John was on business, he returned to see Anne and learned that she was last seen getting into a sports car owned by Tom Morely and became convinced that she was cheating on him.

Breaking into Anne's apartment, he decided to wait until she came back. When she did come back with Tom, John was convinced for sure. When she entered her rooming house John then strangled her to death. Realizing what he had done, John then ran from the law and soon found himself living in the Bahama's where he found his secluded island and built a home. The guilt he felt from killing Anne caused him to age poorly. One day when he was in town he happened to cross paths with Tom Morely who had since married and had a child. He over heard him telling the story of Anne's death and how he had come to console her when her mother had died while John was away. Realizing what he had done, John then fled back to his island and was consumed with guilt ever since.

Having finished his story, Barton begins hearing the voices again and unable to stand them any more he runs out into the storm. Cap follows after him but loses sight of him. When the storm finally passes, Captain America finds Barton, dead from an apparent heart attack. With John now dead, Cap muses that nobody can escape justice forever.

Recurring Characters

Captain America

A Burial for Benny!

Benny the Bandit, a small time hood is brought before "The Boss" who questions him about talking to the police. Before Benny can answer to these accusations the Boss' men beat him to death.

When Detective Chip McCoy is called to the scene of the murder it is made to look as though Benny had fallen out a window by accident. However, Chip sees through this and arrests the Boss and his men. When he gets a confession out of them he explains he saw through their story when he noticed that Benny's glasses were broken, but there were no shards of broken lenses indicating that he was murdered some place and then planted there to try and throw off the investigation.

Recurring Characters

Skip McCoy

Bargain of Death

After putting on a show for children at the Good Heart Hospital, the Human Torch and Sun Girl begin talking about the Torch's powers. Sun Girl wonders how good a crime fighter the Torch would be if he didn't use his flame powers. The two decide to make a bet, and the Torch promises to go the entire day an try not to use his flame powers, he promises that every time he does he will donate $1000 to the hospital.

Just then the Human Torch gets a telegram informing him that Dan Patcher has been trouble at the prison. Both the Torch and Sun Girl recall that Patcher was arrested by the Torch seven years earlier but the 200 thousand dollars he stole was never found. The Torch almost flames on and then remembers the bet they made, and despite Sun Girl's attempts to swear off the bet, is determined to solve the case without using his flame.

The Torch then pays a visit to the prison where he meets with Patcher and the warden. Patcher is worried that his wife and child might be targeted by his old gang in order to pressure him into revealing the location of the stolen money. With Patcher having been a model prisoner and having decided to reform, the Torch decides to try and lure his old gang into a trap. He has the warden facilitate a phony prison break. Patcher then "flees" to his wife's home and tells her to take their son Bobby to the Good Heart Hospital before there is trouble. But before they can flee, Patcher's old gang shows up. Before they can cause trouble "Patcher" roughs them up and convinces them that he hasn't gone straight and agrees to lead them to the money. After he leaves, Patcher's wife notices there is make up on the towel her "husband" used to dry off from the rain. She rushes to the Good Heart Hospital where Sun Girl explains what's going on.

"Patcher" (really the Torch in disguise) is brought to the gangs hideout, right next to the Lubin Plant that they robbed years ago. When "Patcher" refuses to lead them to the stolen money, they attack him and realize he's an impostor wearing a disguise. Knocking him out and tossing water on the man washes off the make up revealing him to be the Human Torch. The Torch comes around and tries to fight back but is easily over powered. Before the gang can gun down the Torch, Sun Girl and the police arrive. The Torch is taken to the hospital to be treated for injuries and he is awarded 20 thousand dollars for helping to recover the money and donates it to the hospital.

Recurring Characters

Human Torch, Sun Girl