Originally Published 6/11/2016

PREVIOUSLY ON JIMMY OLSEN, LIFE WRECKING IDIOT

We have been on a role the last couple of weeks talking about how much of an life wrecking idiot Jimmy Olsen is. We talked about how Superman’spal is incredibly gullible, a toxic person, a stalker, and how he is a massive narcissist. How can we get you to dislike him even more? GLAD YOU ASKED!

JIMMY OLSEN IS A RACIST

This is a pretty bold statement but I stand by it. In cases like this, all I can say is a picture is worth 1000 words:

Admittedly the panel above was taken from a story where Jimmy is fooled by a con artist who makes people believe they are living a past life regression, but this was before that cat was out of the bag. This doesn’t discount the fact that Jimmy Olsen is basically a walking bucket of whitewash. Don’t believe me? Well buckle up buttercup, you’re in for a very insensitive ride.

“THE FEATS OF CHIEF SUPER-DUPER” – FROM SUPERMAN’S PAL JIMMY OLSON #14

I guess the easiest place for a racist to whitewash history is in their very own backyard. This is exactly what Jimmy Olsen does when Clark Kent takes Jimmy to the local Indian Museum to investigate a long lost tribe. Yes, it’s called an “Indian Museum”, no it’s not about people who live in India, it’s about Native Americans. Which, as you can expect from a comic book published in the 1950s, it’s about as culturally sensitive as Thanksgiving at a Klan rally.

While investigating their puff piece for the Sunday Edition, the two come across a totem pole which depicted the tribal chief named Chief Super-Duper, who has a remarkable resemblance to Jimmy. Curious, Jimmy and Superman travel back in time to investigate this strange discovery.  Jimmy meets what he thinks is the lost tribe and somehow manages to get them to accept him as their chief.

 Jimmy then causes their them to lose a trade relationship with a local tribe, gets their village trampled by causing a buffalo stampede with a giant drum, makes shoddy designs for a super canoe that falls to pieces, and after all this Jimmy finally gets his totem pole. He soon finds out that his likeness being carved into it isn’t because they worshiped him, but because they were trying to banish his curse.

As it turns out, Jimmy doesn’t even have the right tribe. The long-lost tribe was actually trapped in a box canyon and Superman saves them. So Jimmy actually screwed up a historically documented tribe. If his bumbling stupidity didn’t end up wiping out this tribe, the germs and other toxins in his body probably did the job for him. Eventually, Jimmy returns to his proper era, and if you’re wondering if he learned anything about respecting another culture….

The worst part about this whole episode is that Clark Kent appears to be enabling this behavior.What sort of role models does Jimmy have out there? It’s not like Lois Lane would be pulling a stunt like —

 

NEXT TIME ON JIMMY OLSEN, LIFE WRECKING IDIOT…

For our final foray into the life of Jimmy Olsen, we have chosen a real hot-button issue. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I will posit to you that Jimmy Olsen is also a Republican talking point! I will present evidence after a short recess.