Nick Peron

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Fantastic Four #547

Never Ask Her If She's Wearing Colored Contact Lenses

Johnny Storm is trying to hit on one of the Black Panther's Dora Milaje by relating a story about one of the Fantastic Four's recent adventures. However as he recounts how they were trapped on a universe overrun with zombie versions of Earth's heroes, he realises how twisted that reality was, and how it wasn't really all that funny. The Black Panther interrupts and tells Johnny not to worry as he is working on contingencies to prevent such a plague from affecting their reality. T'Challa then tells Johnny that he is going to the United Nations for a few hours and leaves Johnny to his own devices. When the Torch continues trying to hit on one of the Panther's body guards, she twists his arm when he tries to touch her.

Meanwhile in space, Mister Fantastic has caught up with the strange meteor that is heading toward Earth. He pulls it into his ship where his wife, the Invisible Woman is waiting. He begins examining the object and tells Sue that it's not a living thing, but a highly advanced form of technology that will require more study. Sue reminds him that he only has two days to figure out what it is before returning to their honeymoon on Titan. Reed tells her that he has to return to Earth to examine it further, but Sue opts to return to Titan instead. As the couple part company, they are unaware that the Wizard has been listening in on their converstation and is plotting a trap for his long time foes.

Back at the Baxter Building, the Thing is in hot water for asking Storm if her hair is fake. To prove to him that she is telling the truth, she has the Thing pick her up by the hair. Passing by, the Black Panther warns Ben not to suggest that her blue eyes are from wearing colored contact lenses. While at Camp Hammond, Mister Fantastic has come to seek the assistance of Hank Pym in examining the strange meteor he has discovered. He appeals to Pym's sense of scientific wonder to get him away form all the paperwork at the Initiative to come help. Soon the pair are back out into space where they utilize the lab there. When Pym asks why they aren't using the Baxter Building, Reed explains that he has loaned it to the Black Panther. The two get down to work and Reed explains that the strange meteor is some kind of organic computer system with a self-contained propulsion system. Reed deduces that it is a communication satellite-like Voyager 1 that uses a complex series of scents to communicate. This causes Reed to figure out what to get his wife as a gift, perfume.

At that moment, Sue is returning to Titan and when she contacts the world computer ISAAC it asks if her guests will be staying for dinner. Before she can figure out who ISAAC is talking about, suddenly her ship explodes, blasted out of the sky by members of the Frightful Four. Sue manages to protect herself from Titan's toxic atmosphere with an invisible force field and survives the crash. In deep space, Reed and Pym continue examining the strange meteor. They have managed to translate the message on the meteor. It contains a greeting from a member of the Odotopians. The alien explains that it hails for a race that has reached the pinnacle of scientific and artistic achievement. However, the alien gives grim tidings, explaining that their entire civilization was wiped out by the Contrasepsis who are unstoppable and unwilling to reason. The alien warns that once the Contrasepsis finish with their civilization, they're coming for Earth next. While back on Titan, the Frightful Four try to contain the Invisible Woman, but she turns invisible and escapes. However, the villains deduce that the only place she can possibly go is Mentor's house and head that way.

Back on Earth, the Black Panther discusses the current tensions between the United States and the combined nations of Latveria, Atlantis, Attilan, and Wakanda. However, T'Challa is called away when he is told that Reed Richards has arrived and insists that he sees him. The rest of the Fantastic Four are called in and Reed explains the situation. Black Panther and Pym come to odds due to their difference of opinions due to the SHRA. However before they can examine things further, they get a distress call from Sue on Titan. She explains that she is under attack by the Frightful Four. The Wizard pipes in and uses a device that can blast through Sue's force field and incapacitate her. He then tells Richards that he is going to murder his wife. Hydro-Man cautions the Wizard for goading Richards like that, but the leader of the Frightful Four is certain that he will defeat his long time foe once and for all as he rigged an explosion on the Fantastic Four's spacecraft. At that very moment, outside the United Nations, the Fantastic Four's ship explodes.

Recurring Characters

Fantastic Four (Black Panther, Storm, Human Torch, Thing), Mister Fantastic, Invisible Woman, Initiative (“Henry Pym”, War Machine, She-Hulk), Frightful Four (Wizard, Trapster, Hydro-Man, Titania), ISAAC

Continuity Notes

  • During his talk with T'Challa's bodyguards, Johnny mentions the team's brief trip to Earth-2149, with T'Challa commenting that he is working on a plan to ensure that such an event can never happen in their reality. These events occurred in Black Panther Vol 4 #27-30.

  • The being who appears to be Henry Pym is actually a Skrull spy, as revealed in Secret Invasion #1. The real Pym was swapped out prior to Beyond #1.

  • Reed states that the Voyager space probe was launched by NASA about 20 years ago. This reference is relative to the date of publication and should be considered topical per the Sliding Timescale of Earth-616.

  • The Black Panther discusses the current political climate. Wakanda, Latveria, and Atlantis are all rallying against the United States due to the imposition of the Super Human Registration Act that was enacted during the events of Civil War #1-7. Attilan has declared war against the United States after the US stole a sample of Terrigen Mist following the events of Son of M #6.