Fighting Words

Now

J. Jonah Jameson comes knocking at the door of the Roberton’s apartment in Brooklyn and asks to be let in. Randy Robertson answers but refuses to let Jonah in after Jonah fired his father from his job at the Daily Bugle.[1] Joe’s wife, Martha, then comes to the door and opens it. They are shocked to see that Jonah has two black eyes and his hands bandaged up. When they ask what happened, he tells them that he ran into a door. They don’t believe it and he invites himself in. He tells Martha and Randy to stop trying to insult him and get him two glasses and Joe as they need to talk in private. That’s when Joe comes into the room and when he sees what happened to Jonah, he doesn’t buy the story that he walked into a door either. By this point, Jonah is using a corkscrew to open the bottle of booze and once again asks for glasses and to talk to Joe privately. Martha and Randy leave the room, but Randy warns Jonah that if he’s there to cause his family more grief he’s going to discover that their home has a lot of doors. Sitting down, Joe asks Jameson what’s going on, why is he is here, and who caused his injuries. Jonah retorts by telling Joe that he forgot two other important questions that must be asked in journalism: where and when.

Earlier

J. Jonah Jameson had arrived at the Daily Bugle to questions from Betty Brant as to why he fired Joe Robertson, especially since Joe was a good friend and Jonah’s conscience at the paper. Jameson says it is none of her business and as he makes his way to his office he threatens to fire her if she continues to press the issue. Betty is about to call Jonah’s bluff when he opens the door to his office and they are both stunned into silence when they discover it is covered in spider webs. In the center of the room there is a note suspended from the webbing addressed to Jameson. It’s a note from Spider-Man asking Jonah to meet him, alone, at an address on Broadway, just to talk. Betty asks Jonah if he’s going to meet with Spider-Man, but Jonah figures it must be some kind of trap. When Betty suggests that perhaps after all the things Jameson has said about the wall-crawler over the years he owes it to Peter Parker to hear what he has to say. When Jonah questions why he would do something like that, Betty suggests that perhaps it’s his conscience.

That evening, Jameson shows up at Lieber’s Gym and opening the door he warns Peter that people knows he has come and not to try anything. That’s when a web-line comes out of the darkness, attaches to Jonah’s chest, and yanks him inside.[2] Landing in the dark gym, Jonah warns Parker that this is giving him more fodder for his lawsuit and vows to bury him for this.[3] Spider-Man points out that Jonah had been digging his grave for years and now all that’s left to either dance or spit on it. Jameson tells Spider-Man to get to the point and tell him what he wants. Peter confirms that Jonah fired Joe Robertson over him and asks him to give Joe his job back. When Jonah asks why Spider-Man points out that Jonah has made a lot of mistakes over the years that he can’t undo, something that Peter can relate with, and tells him that this is one of the things that he can fix and he should do it. Leaping next to Jameson, Spider-Man asks what it will take to make him do it. When Jonah tells Peter to talk to his lawyers, Parker insists that they talk face-to-face right now. Spider-Man then suggests that the least that Jonah can do is thank him for boosting circulation, saving his son not to mention him and the rest of the world on multiple occasions.[4] Jonah counters this by listing off all of the people that Spider-Man failed to save: his aunt and uncle, as well as Georg and Gwen Stacy. Surprisingly, Jonah stops himself from listing more names and actually apologizes, admitting that was uncalled for.

Spider-Man cannot believe that there is a line that Jonah considers too far and Jonah says that if this is about his years of editorials Peter brought them on himself. Peter calls bullshit on this, recounting how the editorials were always full of vitriol. Jameson suggests that maybe Spider-Man hated hearing the truth. Peter then suggests that maybe it was easier for him to hate Spider-Man when he didn’t really know who he was. Jonah agrees that Peter is probably right and the web-slinger sarcastically calls this admission a revelation. He then jumps into the ring and asks Jonah what it will take to make him rehire Joe and cancel the lawsuit. Jonah tells him that Spider-Man can only choose one or the other, that he won’t do both. Jameson is shocked when Spider-Man tells him to drop the lawsuit. He then begins berating Spider-Man, thinking this confirms every negative thing he ever said about the wall-crawler. That’s when Spider-Man asks why Jonah looked surprised when he first said it and suggests that Jonah was surprised because he really knows how unselfish Peter Parker is. When Jonah tries to deny this, Peter sees through it again and knows that regardless of what happens Jonah is going to re-hire Joe. In fact, he thinks that Jameson fired Joe in order to provoke Spider-Man into asking for this meeting and reiterates his offer again: what will it take? Jonah considers it and says that there is nothing that can change his mind and tells Peter that he’ll see him in court, jail, or Hell, whichever comes first. As he turns to walk away, Peter pulls off his mask and offers Jonah the opportunity to punch him in the face.

This causes Jonah to stop dead in his tracks and Peter reiterates the offer: He’s giving Jameson an opportunity to hit him as many times as he wants in the face, suggesting that it’s always what Jameson wanted to do. He then recalls how when he was a kid he was always bullied and his Uncle Ben would tell him that bullies pick on his because they are jealous of him and that’s what Jameson is, a bully who is jealous of Spider-Man’s powers and the fact that he uses them to help people.[6] He then chides Jameson because at least the bullies in school had the conviction to beat on him. Jameson refuses to indulge this offer as he thinks this will give Spider-Man and excuse to attack him. Peter angrily points out that he doesn’t need a reason since he is a fugitive of justice and adding assult to the litany of crimes he is guilty of wouldn’t need an excuse at this point. In fact, if he really wanted to do away with J. Jonah Jameson he could have done it a long time ago by dropping him off the top of the Chrysler Building and nobody would be able to pin the crime on him. Once again, he offers Jameson the chance to hit him, promising he won’t fight back in any way. When Jameson still refuses, he starts slapping Jonah in the face and calling him gutless, and begins threatening to tell everyone how much of a coward he is.[7] This angers Jonah enough for him to punch Peter in the face so hard he draws blood. Peter continues mocking him.

Relating this to Joe Robertson later, J. Jonah Jameson admits that no matter how many times he punched Peter in the face he stood there and took it. Jonah kept on punching until his knuckles were raw and he was out of breath. Only then did Peter ask if he was done, and Jonah admits that he is. Peter then leaps up into the rafter and then tells Jonah that he has a gift. He tosses Jonah a roll of film, telling him he photographed the entire thing, hence why he took his mask off, so that Jonah can publish them on the front page of the Daily Bugle and use whatever self-serving headline. When Jonah tries to get Peter to come back down to talk about it but Spider-Man was already gone. Later, when Jonah returned to the Daily Bugle he decided to destroy the film. He then tells one of the internets to clean up the mess and starts asking for pitches for the front page. He was walking past the woman’s washroom when Betty Brant stepped out causing Jameson to walk right into it.

Now

J. Jonah Jameson has just finished telling his story to Joe Robertson and he once again confirms that he got his black-eyes walking into a door and hurt his hands punching Spider-Man in the face. He then tells Joe to ask the question that he’s dying to know. Joe indulges him and asks why he destroyed the pictures. Jonah says he doesn’t know, but Joe doesn’t buy that. He thinks he was aware that Peter was using him. He points out that Peter’s entire life is in shambles and he blames himself and was using Jonah to deliver the punishment that he thinks he deserves. That’s when Jonah admits that while he is willing to tear down Spider-Man he doesn’t need the web-slinger’s help to do it. That when he tells Joe that he’s dropping the lawsuit and that he only fired Joe to get Spider-Man to confront him and that he’s rehiring him right away.

When Joe asks why he thinks it is okay to use people, and he says it comes from years of practice. When Joe suggests that he might not want to come back, Jonah admits that he needs Joe around because he needs someone around to aspire to be like. When Joe asks if that’s not good enough, Jonah then suggests he’ll just ply Joe with more alcohol. However, when he reaches for the bottle of wine he brought with him he realizes it’s gone. In its place is a note from Spider-Man thanking him for the wine. Jonah just sighs and admits that he hates Spider-Man.

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, J. Jonah Jameson, Betty Brant, Joe Robertson, Martha Robertson, Randy Robertson

Continuity Notes

1. Jonah fired Joe in Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man #21.

2. If it’s not abundantly clear, this story takes place after Peter publicly revealed his identity in Civil War #2.

3, After Spider-Man publicly revealed his identity, J. Jonah Jameson filed a lawsuit against Peter Parker for the years of deception selling photos of Spider-Man for the Daily Bugle. in Amazing Spider-Man #533.

4, In fact, one of the first people that Spider-Man saved as Spider-Man was John Jameson in Amazing Spider-Man #1. Ironically, this was also the thing that started J. Jonah Jameson’s long campaign of editorials against the wall-crawler.

5. This is just the tip of the iceberg in terms of people who were killed or seriously injured since Spider-Man appeared on the scene but we’ll just stick with the ones Jonah mentions here:

• No list of dead people is complete without mentioning poor Uncle Ben who was gunned down in a home robbery circa Amazing Fantasy #15.

• At the time of this story, Aunt May is on life support after betting a shot with a bullet meant for Peter in Amazing Spider-Man #538.

• George Stacy died pushing a child out of the way of falling debris during a battle between Spider-Man and Doctor Octopus back in Amazing Spider-Man #90.

• Gwen Stacy was murdered by the Green Goblin in Amazing Spider-Man #121.

6. Peter’s theory is not far off, while Jonah’s reasoning for hating Spider-Man was complex and he gives various different reasons, Jameson made a nearly identical confession to himself back in Amazing Spider-Man #10. Other reasons include stealing the spotlight from real heroes like his son, an astronaut (Amazing Spider-Man #1) and that he doesn’t trust people who wear masks because his wife was murdered by a crook wearing a mask (Spider-Man’s Tangled Web #20)

7. Spider-Man accuses Jonah of being so much of a coward that he would only send robots and homemade super-villains after him. This is a reference to all the times that Jameson personally funded methods of stopping Spider-Man. The first was the Spider-Slayer robots, having commissioned the 1st, 2nd 3rd, and 5th Spider-Slayers in Amazing Spider-Man #25, 58, 105, and 166 respectively. He also funded the experiments that created the Scorpion and the Fly in Amazing Spider-Man #20 and Annual #10 respectively.

Topical References

• Peter’s camera is depicted as using actual film to take pictures and Jameson destroys them by stomping on the roll of film to expose them to light. This should be considered topical since the advent of digital photography has become an industry-standard in the newsmedia business because it’s more efficient. Modern readers should interpret this as Peter taking the photos and handing Jameson whatever the top-of-the-line digital storage format that currently exists.