The She-Hulk Story that's a riff on Christmas Carol

It's She-Hulk's birthday and she has returned home to her apartment. Playing the messages on her answering machine, she finds over 30 messages of her friends and enemies mentioning her birthday. Getting fed up of hearing the constant reminder that she is getting older, She-Hulk smashes her answering machine. Breaking the fourth wall, she gets annoyed that the narration is also mentioning her birthday. She crumples it up and tosses it out the window almost hitting Spider-Man. The wall-crawler goes up to her window to find out what's wrong. She-Hulk then rants about how her life is in limbo, she can't remember why some of her villains want to kill her, and the Red She-Hulk is trying to steal her name. This reminds Spider-Man to wish her a happy birthday and She-Hulk is less than impressed. Spider-Man tells her that someone needs to put her through a "Christmas Carol" riff so she can appreciate her life. He then dismisses this idea as being overdone and tells her to forget it before swinging off.

At midnight that evening, She-Hulk is awakened from her sleep as Stan Lee suddenly appears in her bedroom. He tells her that he has been watching her from the beginning and has come to help lighten her up. Lee advises her that she will be visited by three ghosts this evening. As She-Hulk bemoans this situation, she suddenly finds herself out of her bedroom and in Los Angeles where she is struck in the face by the Ghost of She-Hulk Past. As this savage incarnation of herself begins beating her around, She-Hulk quickly picks up on the fact that she used to be a savage brute not unlike her cousin. Suddenly, the Savage She-Hulk is shot upon by the LAPD, led by her father, Sheriff Morris Walters. As she calls out to her father, she suddenly slips down a crack in the street and falls into a black void. Suddenly, she lands in the middle of a courtroom. After being sworn in by Weezie Mason and discovering that Awesome Andy is the judge, She-Hulk is cross-examined by the Ghost of She-Hulk Present. Noticing that the jury is filled by the Red Hulk, Thundra, Valkyrie, Doc Samson, Nick Fury, Dan Slott, and Iron Man. She is questioned about her profession and She-Hulk explains that she is a disbarred lawyer with no current team affiliation. When she is grilled by the Ghost of She-Hulk Present about how she can't see how far she has come in her life and suggests that she is just a rip-off of her cousin, She-Hulk grows angry and beats the Ghost of She-Hulk Present to death.

Realizing what she has done, She-Hulk is mortified. Suddenly, the scene changes again, she is in a dark room being haunted by the Ghost of She-Hulk Future. She protests against the criticisms, pointing out how she managed to win over her father, become a hero, and was a member of the Avengers, Fantastic Four, and SHIELD. Finally, the Ghost of the Future appears before her, showing She-Hulk that at her current course she will become an evil being called the Misstro. She-Hulk is put off by this, finding that the "evil future version" trope has been done to death and decides to check out of this dream. She climbs up a ladder to the exit and she pops out of a birthday cake where she finds all of her friends and allies with her a happy birthday.

Recurring Characters

She-Hulk, Spider-Man, Stan Lee, (voices only) Super-Skrull, Doctor Bob Doom, Titania, Bruce Banner, Hercules

Continuity Notes

• She-Hulk breaks the forth wall in this story, something she typically done during the run of Sensational She-Hulk

• She-Hulk recounts some highlights of her career:

  • When she was first the "Savage" She-Hulk and operated in LA. This happened in Savage She-Hulk #1-25.

  • How her father came to accept her as a hero. Those events were chronicled in She-Hulk Vol 2 #3.

  • She-Hulk joined the Avengers in Avengers #221 and had been a mainstay on the team for years.

  • She also joined the Fantastic Four from Fantastic Four #265-301.

  • More recently she was a member of SHIELD from She-Hulk Vol 2 #15-18.

  • She-Hulk also makes many references about being disbarred as a lawyer. How that happened was revealed in She-Hulk Vol 2 #37-38.

• She-Hulk mocks the Misstro because her cousin the Hulk faced his own evil version in Incredible Hulk: Future Imperfect #1-2.

Ladies' Night

A bank in Manhattan is robbed by a group of criminals wearing Thing masks. They take the staff and customers hostage and order a teller to open the vault. While they are occupied with this task they don't notice the entry of Warbird until it is too late. When she tries to stop the crook, she blasts one of them, shredding their disguise. Warbird is shocked to discover that it is Spider-Woman underneath the disguise. Spider-Woman tells her not to get involved and uses her venom blast to knock out her ally.

The following afternoon, She-Hulk arrives at the Raft prison as a representative of the District Attorney's Office. She is chastised for being late by Helen Rogers, the lawyer representing the man she has come to question. She-Hulk explains that she was detained because had to stop someone from blowing up Grand Central Station. Soon they go down into the prison where they meet with Drake, one of the bank robbers. He wants to make a plea deal to stay out of prison and tells her all about their robbery and how they where they were planning on meeting with the woman who helped them plan it. That evening, Warbird has come to a bar in Hell's Kitchen and forces the owner to spill about the bank robbery, he also tells her of the meeting place.

Later, when both women go to investigate, She-Hulk spots Warbird's arrival and thinks that she is the woman Drake was talking about. She-Hulk attacks first without asking questions and after the two exchange blows, Warbird spots Spider-Woman and explains that she was the mastermind behind the bank robbery. The two heroines give her chase and She-Hulk ultimately knocks her out. When she comes to, Spider-Woman agrees to tell them what is going on. She takes them to a warehouse and explains that she is working in Hydra. Since the organization has been strapped for cash they have been organizing bank robberies all over the country. When her two allies question why she joined up with a known terrorist organization, she explains that she rejoined the group to find out what they are up to. While She-Hulk wants to bring her in, Warbird insists on following her to find out what's going on, and She-Hulk grudgingly agrees to help.

The three women dress up and infiltrate Hydra's business front, a trendy nightclub called the Fashion Bar. There, Spider-Woman explains that the operation is run by a guy named Jimmy who runs Hydra's money. They make their way into the secret basement, unaware that they have been identified and their presence reported in. While She-Hulk and Warbird go down into the basement, they find a full Hydra facility. Meanwhile, Spider-Woman searches Jimmy's office to find the information she is looking for. However, Jimmy catches her and she is easily defeated as Jimmy's shadow is a sentient being that easily subdues her. Jennifer and Carol are both captured as well. When the three women are reunited, they drop their cover and easily trounce the Hydra agents and defeat Jimmy then turn them over to the police. In the aftermath of the battle, Warbird tells Spider-Woman that she should come to them in the future if they ever need help. With the evening coming to a close, the trio of superheroes part company and return home.

Recurring Characters

She-Hulk, Warbird, Spider-Woman, Hydra

Continuity Notes

• The narrative of this story states that this story takes place prior to Secret Invasion. However, this story actually happens much earlier than that. It takes place just after the Avengers disbanded in Avengers: Finale #1.

• Spider-Woman is being shown as working with Hydra here. Her association in this story was revealed in Giant-Size Spider-Woman #1 wherein she joins Hydra apparently as a double agent. However, as revealed in Secret Invasion #1-8, she was actually replaced by a Skrull spy named Vernake.

• "Spider-Woman" mentions her long association with Hydra. She was once one of their agents as seen in Marvel Spotlight #32, Marvel Two-In-One #29-31 and Spider-Woman #1-2. These origins were expanded upon in Spider-Woman Origin #1-5.

• At the time of this story, She-Hulk worked for the District Attorney's Office of New York City on a recurring basis. This lasted from Sensational She-Hulk #1 to She-Hulk Vol 2 #1.

• Carol Danvers mentions how Spider-Woman saved her life once. She is referring to the time that Ms. Marvel saved her from the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants, as depicted in Avengers Annual #10 and Marvel Super-Heroes Vol 2 #11.

Continuity Errors

• In this story Carol Danvers is referred to as Ms. Marvel. However, chronologically speaking, this story happens during a period when she was still calling herself Warbird. Carol identified herself by that named from Avengers Vol 3 #4 until House of M #1.