Once an Avenger, Always an Avenger!

A bunch of dumb kids are playing Avengers and decide that the kid who plays Iron Man needs to leave the team because the real Iron Man quit the Avengers.[1] When a local bully dresses up as Iron Man and commits petty crimes, the “real” Iron Man exposes him and repairs his good name and is brought back into the Avengers. Again, this is all very stupid.

Continuity Notes

1. Iron Man quit the Avengers in Avengers #231. What these dumb kids don’t know is that Iron Man quit because his alter-ego, Tony Stark, spiraled into alcoholism in Iron Man #167 prompting Jim Rhodes to take over in issue #169-170.

Struggle!

It’s a hot summer morning and Tony Stark stands on the street trying to figure out where his next street is coming from. When a passing couple give him a nickle, Tony insists that he’s not a bum but breaks down crying when telling them who he really is. Sitting on the street, he is approached by the two police officers who took him to detox the other day.[1] They try to tell Tony that he has a drinking problem and if he doesn’t quit it, he’ll end up dead. Tony, however, refuses to believe that he’s an alcoholic, telling them that he just had bad nerves. One of the officers, whose father was an alcoholic, is disgusted by Tony’s inability to take ownership of his problems. He makes Tony a bet, if Stark can last until midnight without drinking, he will give him fifty dollars.

Tony is determined to win this bet and decides to get himself something to eat. However, he has no money for food or a cab ride. He decides to try and call Jim Rhodes for help. However, Morley Erwin is there to answer the phone and he tells Tony that Jim is out of town.[2] This used up the last of Tony’s change. He then remembers Vic Martinelli lives nearby and goes to see him to see if he can loan him some money. Vic is more than happy to help, but Tony gets upset with him when Vic says he is still working for Stane International after the take over. Vic reminds Tony that he has bills to pay and it was the only job he could do and he does it well. After slamming the door in Tony’s face, Vic instantly regrets losing his temper.[3]

With twenty bucks in his pocket, Tony goes to a local bar. However, instead of buying a drink he asks for change and uses the payphone to call his former secretary, Bambi Arbogast to see how she is doing. She tells him that she quit her job and is having trouble finding new work. She also tries to convince Tony to stop drinking and start going to Alcoholics Anonymous as they helped her family in the past. Tony refuses to admit he has a problem. When she starts lecturing him he hangs up the phone. When he refuses a drink from the bartender he gets kicked out.

On the street, Tony runs into a Ozzie Sandborn, a man he befriended while they were both in detox. Ozzie wants to introduce Tony to a new friend of his Gretl Anders. Ozzie also takes the opportunity to opine on the advice the doctor at the detox clinic gave him. He doesn’t care that drinking will kill him, “we all have to go sometime” he tells Tony and then suggests they all go out and get drunk. When Tony declines, Ozzie gets indignant and accuses Tony of trying to be better than they are.

Struggling with the urge to drink, Tony sits down on a bench and nods off. He is woken up hours later by a beat cop who tells him that it’s almost midnight and to get moving. Realizing he made it through the entire day without drinking, Tony meets up with the cop he made the bet with. He is surprised to see Tony succeeded in not drinking but pays up none the less, even though Tony admits that he’s going to use the money to buy more booze. Tony thanks the officer for making a bet as it made him realize that he is an alcoholic. The officer tearfully tells him that that’s the reason he did it, admitting to Stark that his father was also an alcoholic.

Recurring Characters

Tony Stark, Jim Rhodes, Morley Erwin, Gretl Anders, Vic Martinelli, Bambi Arbogast

Continuity Notes

1. Tony had been sober since Iron Man #128 until a ruthless takeover of his company by Obadiah Stane drove him to start drinking in issue #167. Tony ran away from his life to live on the streets in issue #172. He was taken to detox last issue.

2. At the time of this story, Jim — as Iron Man — is helping the Eternals push back an invasion of their home by the Deviants. See Iron Man Annual #6.

3. Obadiah Stane took over Stark International and renamed it Stane International in Iron Man #173. Vic remained on board, partially because he had bill, but also because he was worried about getting a job elsewhere due to his troubled past. Vic informed on the mob and was put in the witness protection program. See Iron Man #146-147 for the details.

Topical References

• Gretl associates Tony’s first name with famous actors named Anthony such as Anthony Quin and Anthony Franciosa. These should be topical references since both of are dead having died in 2001 and 2006 respectively. While talented actors who won awards, you probably didn’t know who they were until you read this and that’s why it’s a topical reference.

About the Cover

This story was part of the “Assistant Editor’s Month” event. A gimmick event where the assistant editors pretended to take over that months run of books while the actual editors were away at San Diego Comiccon. “Hilarious” hijinks ensued with wacky changes to the covers, unconventional stories and other “wacky” things going on for the month.

That said, all of the Avengers related titles were mocked up to parody the design of Silver Age DC Comic books including a checker board pattern across the top of the cover as well as the Marvel Comics logo being changed to resemble that of National Comics (the precursor to DC Comics)

Other books that were part of this “event” were: Alpha Flight #6, Amazing Spider-Man #248, Avengers #239, Captain America #289, Conan the Barbarian #154, Daredevil #202, Dazzler #30, Defenders #127, Fantastic Four #262, Incredible Hulk #291, Marvel Team-Up #137, Micronauts #56, Moon Knight #35, New Mutants #11, Spectacular Spider-Man #86, Powerman and Iron Fist #101, Rom #50, Saga of Crystar #5, Thing #7, Thor #339, and Uncanny X-Men #177.