Cliché

Spider-Man happens upon a bank robbery being committed by a gang of high tech robbers.[1] To quickly diffuse the situation, the web-slinger uses his webbing to drop a net on them. After wrapping up the crooks, the web-slinger has to make a hasty exit when police officers arrive on the scene and attempt to arrest him. Changing back to his civilian identity, Peter Parker thinks about how his life has quickly changed. Not long ago he was living in a luxury apartment with his wife, now that wife is believed to be dead and Peter is struggling to pay for a crappy one-bedroom apartment.[2] As if to punctuate this, Peter’s new landlord reminds him that his rent is overdue as he returns to said apartment. There he continues to deny that Mary Jane has died and vows to find her.[3] Making himself a bowl of cereal, he discovers his milk has gone bad and decides that he wasn’t hungry after all. Going to bed, he tells Mary Jane that he’ll get his life together soon, but when he jumps into bed it collapses under his weight. Unable to sleep, Peter decides to go back out as Spider-Man instead. Sneezing from the dust of his collapsing bed, Spider-Man scours the city looking for someone to fight but finds it quiet. That’s when he is ambushed by the Squid and his new team of minions, the Wicked Brigade. Spider-Man is unimpressed by this new gang of lame villains but the battle proves short-lived when another newcomer, the armored Master Monarch, incapacitates the Wicked Brigade under orders of someone called the Agitator. Uninterested in Spider-Man, the Master Monarch considered his job done and leaves.[4]

Curious as to who all these new villains are, Spider-Man decides to pick the brain of Ben Urich at the Daily Bugle. There he discovers the staff of the Bugle is all hiding under their desks. Finding Urich, he learns that his old foe Venom has come to the newspaper. Ben figures that Venom has come looking for J. Jonah Jameson, who conveniently vanished as soon as Venom showed up.[5] Spider-Man then gives his position away by sneezing and is quickly snatched up by Venom, who tells the wall-crawler that he is looking to fight the web-slinger and offers to let him go if Spider-Man doesn’t interfere. However, Spider-Man can’t just let Venom run loose and fights free.[6]

The pair begin brawling across the newsroom, but when Spider-Man asks Venom why he’s going after Jameson again, the lunatic says he isn’t after Jonah this time. That’s when the Sandman appears and reveals that he is the one that Venom has been after. [7] Wanting to shake Venom, Sandman hid in the Daily Bugle in the hopes of drawing out Spider-Man. When the Sandman joins the battle, Venom decides to eat a chunk of his opponent causing Sandman to lose cohesion of his body. Unable to keep himself together, the Sandman then retreats out an open window. Venom then decides to turn his attention on Spider-Man after all, but the wall-crawler manages to drive Venom away when Ben Urich tosses him a lighter. Venom flees the scene, vowing to get revenge against Spider-Man. In the aftermath of the battle, J. Jonah Jameson comes out and demands that someone arrest Spider-Man. Realizing that he forgot to call Aunt May, the web-slinger shoots webbing over Jonah’s mouth so he can call her in peace. He apologizes for not being able to be there to bring her to the doctor, but May assures Peter that she made it on her own just fine and that she is in good health. This is yet another reminder that Peter needs to get his life in order. Later, Spider-Man finds himself in an alley standing in front of a burning barrel thinking about how his life needs to change. He contemplates burning his costume and decides against it, saying he’s been there and done that.[8]

Putting back on his mask, Spider-Man decides to go back home and put this day of cliches behind him, figuring tomorrow will be the start of a new day. As he leaps up onto a nearby rooftop, Spider-Man accidentally lands feet first in a box of donuts that belong to the Thing. Seeing the pastries smashed to bits, the Thing tells Spider-Man that it’s clobberin’ time.

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, Venom, Sandman, J. Jonah Jameson, Ben Urich, Wicked Brigade (Squid, Ogre, Lightning Fist, Razor Wire), Aunt May, Thing

Continuity Notes

1. Spider-Man says it is the year 2000. This should be considered a topical reference.

2. Peter’s life has been turned upside-down is a very complicated the details:

   • First, Peter and Mary Jane are referred to as husband and wife here. Their marriage is erased from history by Mephisto in Amazing Spider-Man #545. As such they should be considered a common-law couple here.

   • The pair moved into a luxury condo in Amazing Spider-Man (vol. 2) #1 after Mary Jane’s modeling career was experiencing a revival.

   • Mary Jane seemingly died in a plane crash in Amazing Spider-Man (vol. 2) #13. She is still alive as we’ll learn in Amazing Spider-Man (vol. 2) #29.

   • Peter and Aunt May were forced to move out of the luxury apartment in Amazing Spider-Man (vol. 2) #16 when it was discovered that Mary Jane’s agent wasn’t paying the bills and embezzled all her money and cut down.

3. Peter mentions how both Norman Osborn and Aunt May had recently cheated death. Osborn was believed to have died on the business end of his Goblin Glider in Amazing Spider-Man #122. However as revealed in Spider-Man: The Osborn Journal #1, Norman survived thanks to the healing properties of his Goblin Formula. He later resurfaced in Amazing Spider-Man #412. May was believed to have died in Amazing Spider-Man #400, she was actually swapped out with a dying actress by Norman Osborn. Peter learned this and later saved May in Spider-Man #97-98.

4. No you didn’t miss anything, these characters are all tossed in for no real reason.

5. Urich’s guess that Venom is after Jameson isn’t too far off as Venom previously went after the newspaper publisher in Peter Parker: Spider-Man #9-10.

6. Spider-Man quips that the day could only get worse if a bunch of clones shows up. This is a reference to the long-running Clone Saga that ran from Web of Spider-Man #117 to Spider-Man #75.

7. Venom has been hunting down the Sandman since a failed membership in the Sinister Six in Amazing Spider-Man (vol. 2) #12/Peter Parker: Spider-Man #12.

8. Peter burned his Spider-Man costume in Spider-Man #98 deciding he was going to retire as Spider-Man. It didn’t keep since he was wearing the webs again in Amazing Spider-Man (vol. 2) #2.