Trash!

Two weeks ago in Britain, an elemental creature began devouring discarded trash. As it ate more and more, including swallowing a homeless man, it eventually took on humanoid form... eventually becoming a giant trash monster.

Two weeks later, She-Hulk is riding first class on an airplane to Britain. She has been called in to serve as defense counsel for Meggan of the British super-team Excalibur. Meggan is charged with destruction of property, theft and reckless endangerment. There are several witnesses who saw her smash a burger bar, ingest all its stock--and then eat their garbage! However, Excalibur claims that she was possessed by an evil spirit at the time. So, as a super-human legal specialist, Jennifer was called in to help.

Suddenly, the plane is rocked by an impact on the wing! Jennifer asks the flight attendant what is happening. The stewardess tells her that it is just a slight technical problem, and asks her to return to her seat. Jennifer is not convinced. "Tell me, is this natural manure... or do they train you to shovel it?" A second impact smashes through the other wing, and all of the passengers are tossed around. She-Hulk pulls out her Avengers ID and tries to calm them down. As the plane starts to crash, She-Hulk tells the stewardess to make sure that everyone is strapped in, because she plans to go out on the wing. She figures that if Bruce Willis can do it, so can she. The stewardess tells her that the hatch is stuck, so She-Hulk kicks it open. Unfortunately, her plan backfires when she is blown out the hatch and has to grab onto the wing for dear life.

She-Hulk discovers that the cause of the problem is Captain Britain, who is tearing the plane apart! She-Hulk is torn loose of the plane and starts to fall. She is caught by Meggan. Jen complains about not getting rescued by someone with a heroic jaw and rippling biceps. Meggan explains that he is not feeling himself right now, so she'll have to do.

Meanwhile, the rest of Excalibur deals with the plane. Nightcrawler teleports over to confront Captain Britain, taunting him and kicking him in the face. Unfortunately, it doesn't faze the super-strong man, and he grabs a hold of Nightcrawler! Meggan sees this and cries out in horror, but is so paralyzed with fear that she doesn't fly over to help. Nightcrawler manages to free himself, and then the dragon, Lockheed drives Brian (Capt. Britain) away from him with a burst of flame. Then Shadowcat phases Brian through the wing of the plane, causing him to fall. While Captain Britain flies away, Phoenix uses her telekinetic powers to catch the plane and lower it safely to the ground.

They regroup at Excalibur's lighthouse headquarters, where they explain to Jennifer how the Weird Happenings Organization called them in a few weeks ago to deal with a creature composed of trash. It was smashing up London, and eating what it destroyed. They were battling the creature when Meggan got too close and accidentally taught him a new trick. Her shape-shifting powers are often affected by outside forces, and he discovered that through her that he could take possession of human forms! He took over Meggan's body and went on a rampage, which involved the restaurant she is accused of destroying. Phoenix was able to exorcise the creature with her telepathic abilities, but with no visible evidence of the creature to show the police, there was nothing they could use to prove Meggan's innocence. To make matters worse, the creature wasn't destroyed. He took over Captain Britain's body. He lay low at first, but when he learned about She-Hulk coming he flew out to try and stop her. She-Hulk asks why Phoenix can't just exorcise it again, and she explains that by now the creature has had time to get a firm grip on Brian's mind. Forcing it out could cause permanent mental damage. Kitty raises the point that if they just drive it out again, what's to stop it from just taking over someone else again. Jennifer thinks she has an idea....

Later, in Central London, Captain Britain has been located in an alley. He is half-naked and is eating garbage. The police have sealed off the alley, and his friend, Commander Dai Thomas, goes in to talk to him. Brian goes to attack him, but Thomas says he's just an observer. "But your lady friend...her I'd worry about!" Meggan attacks him from behind, smashing his head into the wall! When Brian collapses to the ground, she worries that she has accidentally hurt her lover...but the creature is just faking. It lunges for her, but Shadowcat phases her just in time, and Brian passes harmlessly through. Then Lockheed blasts him with his fire, and Nightcrawler leaps on to his back! Kurt uses multiple teleports to try and disorient and disable the creature, but Kurt is more strongly affected. When Kurt stops to catch his breath, Brian punches him and moves in for the kill! Nightcrawler is too tired to move, but he is rescued by She-Hulk, who grabs the captain's arm and flings him away! He tries to fight her, but She-Hulk easily mops the floor with him, given how exhausted he is, and given her superior fighting skills. "Call that a super-human body?! I've seen stronger head colds! Trust you to pick the weakest hero on the block! That's nobody for any self-respecting spirit. But this...this is!"

She-Hulk drops her trench coat and reveals that she is wearing nothing underneath except for a 'bra' and thong made out of garbage! Jennifer dislikes exploiting her femininity like this, but given that the creature displayed mostly male characteristics, she figures this is their best shot at tempting him out. Meanwhile, W.H.O. scientist and Excalibur ally Alistair Stuart begin snapping photos. Thomas tells him not yet, but Alistair replies that he has to be kidding!

The spirit takes the bait, and emerges from Brian's body! Thomas asks if Alistair caught it on film, and he confirms that he did! As the spirit swirls around She-Hulk, she hopes that Phoenix times this right otherwise all they'll have done is give the creature a more powerful body! Phoenix begins raining trash down on them, and the spirit absorbs it, forming a body again. Unfortunately, it also starts absorbing She-Hulk as well! Phoenix uses her telekinetic powers to keep dumping more and more garbage into the heart of the creature! The creature continues to grow and grow until finally it reaches its limit and explodes! Exhausted from the effort, Phoenix collapses and falls to the ground, landing in a pile of garbage.

The heroes dig themselves out of the rubbish, and Nightcrawler asks if they have enough evidence to prove Meggan was possessed. Thomas believes so. Brian is now back to normal and begins making out with Meggan. Rachel comments that She-Hulk took a big risk that the creature would have a limit. Jen comments that it makes life interesting, but now she needs a bath! do the heroes ask what they're going to do with 4 hundred tons of possessed rubbish?

Later, Jennifer is on the plane ride back home. She thinks that everything was resolved very neatly. The case against Meggan was dismissed, and the creature was turned into 100% recycled paper blotter!

Recurring Characters

She-Hulk, Excalibur (Captain Britain, Meggan, Shadowcat, Nightcrawler, Phoenix, Lockheed, Widget), Alistaire Stuart, Dai Thomas

Continuity Notes

• Nightcrawler's teleportation powers are limited here, even causing him pain, because he is still recovering from injuries he suffered during a battle against the Marauders back in Uncanny X-Men #211.