Get Kraven Part Two

In Hollywood, Ned Tannengarden meets with actress Kate Shaw and her agent. When it appears that the actress is strung out on alcohol and drugs he orders her agent to get her cleaned up if she wants to work in Hollywood again and kicks them out.[1] When his secretary tells him that Aloysha Kravinoff and his girlfriend Timber Hughes are here to see them, he warmly welcomes them to his office. When Ned asks him what he wants, Al tells Tannengarden that he wants to produce a movie and since Ned once owed his father a favor he wanted to call in that marker. Ned remembers Sergei Kravinoff fondly and agrees to help Al in any way he can.[2] When Ned asks what they are going to call their production company, Al doesn’t understand why everyone in Hollywood has weird names for their production companies. However, when faced with making a choice both he and Timber agree to call their company Hunter Productions. Ned then tosses Al the keys to his car and tells him to drive to Malibu and find himself a script, telling him that there are geeks in every coffee shop writing the next big screenplay, so finding one should be easy.

At that moment, in West Hollywood, struggling screenwriter Ben Charles is in the middle of a break-up with his girlfriend Anna. She sees no reason to remain together if Ben isn’t able to get work selling his screenplays. She also thinks it is insane that he’s trying to buy back the script he wrote for the Rothsteins. However, Ben insists that he needs to maintain his integrity and the two producers are going to ruin his creative vision. The argument becomes heated as Ben was hoping for some kind of support from her but she gets fed up and decides to leave. That’s when Ben completely loses it and begins cussing her out as Anna packs her things and leaves. He continues to do so all the way out the door where she throws a rock at him. It hits Ben right between the eyes, knocking him out.

The following day, Kraven and his girlfriend are spending a day on the beech. Out in the water, Al remarks how leaving New York City and its superheroes behind was a good idea. As he talks to the marine life about his decision to come to Hollywood, he is visited by the Sub-Mariner who warns Al to be careful in Hollywood.[3] He tells Kraven that he knows his father and is impressed with Al’s ability to communicate with animals. When Al says he inherited it from his father, Namor reveals that his father kept the fact that his mother was a mutant as a secret. This is news to Al, and he sarcastically thanks Namor for his future therapy bills. The Sub-Mariner’s parting advice to Al is to watch out in Hollywood as, unlike the Great White going for his leg right now, the sharks there drive expensive cards. As Namor dives away, Al has to quickly swim to shore after a shark tries to bit his leg off, something that Namor organized as a practical joke for his own amusement.

Later, Al and Timber are driving down Sunset Strip with Johnny Vanhoke, a real estate agent who has helped many celebrities find their dream homes in Hollywood. As they look, Johnny takes the opportunity to name drop the different celebrities he has met over the years. He soon takes them to see his friend, actor Scott Biao.* Al has previously met Scott and introduces Timber to Scott and his girlfriend Jeanette. Johnny is glad to hear they are hitting it off since Al and Timber are looking to rent out Scott’s home. Timber admits that the reason why she wanted to check it out is that she has been a fan of Scott’s work for years and even had a poster of him when she was a little girl. When Jeannette shows Timber around, Al asks Scott why he’s renting out his place and is told that Scott and Jeannette are going on trip to Europe for a few months. After sealing the deal, Scott pulls Johnny aside and tells him to stop calling him Scotty and that he only agreed to do this as a favor to Johnny since he’s not even licensed to do real estate. As Al and Timber settle into their new home for the night they are unaware that someone is watching the home, hoping Kraven enjoys the relative peace as it will end very soon. In their bedroom, Al talks to Timber about what her next move, admitting he doesn’t understand how she endures the audition process because he finds the whole ordeal dehumanizing. Still, he wonders how he is going to find a script and she offers to help him with that challenge. At that same moment, Ben Charles is attempting to commit suicide by hanging himself. When he kicks the chair out from under him, the rafters in his home cannot support his weight and break sending him falling to the floor relatively unharmed. His only words in the face of this recent failure is to say he hates himself.

Back in New York at Edwards Psychiatric Facility, the guards have come to give the Chameleon his latest meal. The insane spy still thinks that he is his brother, Sergei Kravinoff the original Kraven the Hunter, and demands the guards tell him where his “son” Aloysha has gone. When they remove the Chameleon’s restraints so he can eat, he tells them how he once fought off a polar bear in Alaska using nothing but a plastic fork no bigger than the one they have given him to eat with. When the guards ask how hurt he got, the Chameleon tells them that he survived the encounter unscathed and then quickly whirls around and cuts the two guards throats with the plastic spoon. Finally free, “Kraven” vows to track down his “son” and kill him.

Recurring Characters

Al Kraven, Timber Hughes, Ned Tannengarden, Ben Charles, Chameleon, Nickle, Sub-Mariner

Continuity Notes

1. Tannengarden references an actor named Jack Monroe. Despite what some poorly researched wiki would have you think, this actor is not the same Jack Monroe who was Bucky in the 1950s and later Nomad in the modern era. This is confirmed in the Nomad entry in the Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe A-Z #8. The only source that supports this is a dipshit who doesn’t know that two different people could have the same exact names.

2. Sergei Kravinoff, the original Kraven the Hunter, is dead at the time of this story having blown his brains out in Amazing Spider-Man #294.

3. Namor would know since he’s owned a movie studio in the past, as seen in Fantastic Four #9.

Topical References

• Dated pop-culture references: Robert Downie, Jr, and his drug habit, Worldwide Pants, Silly Robin, Flower Films, Face Productions. Tom Cruise, Starbucks Coffee, Tammy Wynette’s “Stand By Your Man”, Steven Spielberg, BMW, Jamba Juice, Pamela Anderson, Ben Affleck, Drew Carey. the Scott Baio, Happy Days (and related characters), Hugh Hefner and his marriage, Henry Winkler, John Stamos, Bob Hope, Charles in Charge

Scott Baio?

Yeah, actor Scott Baio makes appearances in Get Kraven. Not sure how that happened. Anyway, real-world people are considered topical references so stories do not become dated. So, as a result, the appearance of Scott Baio in this story should be considered topical. Usually, when I write a summary I don’t directly reference topical references choosing to use more general terms (much like the Marvel Handbooks do). However, in this case I’m going to refer to the character by his name here since he’s actually a part of the story — unlike most other celebrity appearances in comics which are usually cameos. For modern readers, you should assume that the character in this story is an actor named Scott Baio, but not the Scott Baio from Happy Days and Joanie Loves Chochie (if you don’t know what those shows are you are officially too young to be on my website)

Additional Notes

• Despite the fact that the cover says this series is a 7 issue limited series it’s actually 6 issues.