The Root of All Annoyance

Several Years Ago[1]

Spider-Man is having trouble balancing his checkbook causing him to scream in frustration while clinging to the side of a building. He is shooed off by the person who lives in the apartment and he drops his bill in the mail. There a homeless man tosses him shade for not having any change.

That’s when a bunch of police cars speeds by on their way to a nearby back. Inside, the Black Cat is trying to stop a mystic called the Occultist from robbing the bank. Unfortunately, he has used his magical powers to create a golem out of the various teller machines. When Spider-Man arrives it is just as the Occultist casts a spell that turns the bank vault into a swarm of butterflies. When the golem suddenly collapses, the two crimefighters realize that the Occultist can only cast one spell at a time.

Rushing into the vault, Spider-Man jumps on the Occultist’s back interrupting his spell. Spider-Man is zapped with mystical energy, but it doesn’t appear to have done anything. He quickly knocks out the Occultist with a single punch. When the police begin arriving at the scene, Spider-Man has Felicia stay behind to hand the Occultist to the cops since the police will try to arrest him. He gets her to promise not to steal any of the money for herself, however, the Cat crosses her fingers behind her back. When she turns around to look at the money, it suddenly teleports away.

When Spider-Man returns to his apartment his spider-sense starts going off, warning him that his Aunt May is about to come into his apartment. She has come to see if Peter is okay because she got a call from his landlord who is complaining about Peter not paying his rent on time. As Peter scrambles to change out of his costume he turns around and is horrified to see all the money from the bank is suddenly on his bedroom floor. Quickly, Peter crams all the money into a duffle bag and in a panic tosses the bag out his bedroom window. However, it teleports back into the room and knocks him over. Realizing he can’t get rid of the money, Peter leaps out of the window, avoiding his Aunt May altogether.

Racing back to the bank, Spider-Man tries to lower the duffle bag onto the ground without anyone seeing. Although he succeeds, the moment he gets far enough away it teleports back at him. Trying to figure out what to do next, he is ambushed by the Lightmaster whose light-blast makes Spider-Man drop the bag of money. When it teleports back at him, it flies into Lightmaster with enough force to knock him out. He races back to find the Black Cat who is leaving the NYPD after collecting a reward for stopping the bank robbery. He yanks her up to the rooftop and shows her the money and explains what happened. They both agree to break the Occultist out of jail so he can reverse the spell.

However, when they bring him up to the rooftop, the Occultist uses his spells to create a new golem out of the money. However, this proves to be a stupid move since a golem made out of paper isn’t very powerful. Spider-Man quickly knocks out the Occultist, causing his money golem to fall apart. Spider-Man then tells the Cat they need to give all the money back. When she offers half of the reward money, Spider-Man takes it but gives it to the homeless man that hassled him earlier. Heading home, the web-slinger decides to order a pizza only to discover that he forgot to pay his cell phone bill.

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, Black Cat, Lightmaster, Aunt May

Continuity Notes

1. Per the Marvel Chronology Project, this story occurs between the events of Peter Parker, the Spectacular Spider-Man #55, and Marvel Team-Up #106 for Spider-Man and Amazing Spider-Man #205 and 226 for the Black Cat. I disagree. It is my assessment that this story takes place between Peter Parker, the Spectacular Spider-Man #86, and Amazing Spider-Man #249. See below. Either way, this story would have taken place during “Year Six” of the modern age.

Memories

Now

Although she has been trying to get Peter Parker to go out on a date with her for weeks, she sends him home when he mentions having a headache.[1] All she can focus on is her father’s arrangement and has come to work to try and get her mind off of it.[2] That’s when she sees the front page of the paper has a story about a child stranger died in prison. She hasn’t thought about this case in years and thinks back to when she was a little girl…

Years Ago…[3]

With the child strangler on the loose, Ray Cooper decided that he doesn’t want her daughter to be home alone while he is working on the case. So, despite Carlie’s protests, he brings her into the office. She’s not the only kid brought into the precinct as George Stacy has brought his daughter Gwen in as well. Carlie and Gwen are friends and are excited to see each other after a long time. While Ray and George go to work on their case, they as Officer Yuri Watanabe to keep an ear out for the girls.

The two girls are left alone in George’s office where Carlie complains about her father always treating her like a baby ever since her mother died. This makes Gwen think of her own deceased mother and asks Carlie to change the subject. They quickly grow bored until Carlie convinces Gwen to help her look through her father’s desk.

Carlie finds George’s file on the kiddie strangler and begins looking through all the photos. Gwen is squeamish at first but begins helping Carlie try to make sense of the graphic crime scene photos. Carlie notices that the women are dressed in clothing and wearing hair barrettes typically worn by children much younger than the age of the victims. That’s when Office Watanabe catches them and scrambles to put the file away before Captain Stacy finds out about this. However, Carlie has deduced that the killer is trying to make the victims look like his daughter and pleads to Yuri to tell their fathers this theory.

Three hours later, Ray Cooper talks with his daughter in one of the interrogation rooms, alone. He tells her that what she did was illegal and immortal, but she came up with a theory that could crack the case. They were able to arrest the lead suspect, whose daughter was killed four years earlier. However, he tells her that it will take a while before the case goes to trial. Although she is in trouble, Ray Cooper is proud of his daughter but tells her to play by the rules from now on.

Recurring Characters

Carlie Cooper, Gwen Stacy, Ray Cooper, George Stacy, Yuri Watanabe

Continuity Notes

1. This story takes place during the events of Amazing Spider-Man #627. Peter’s headache is a side effect of the Kravinoff Family running him through a series of trials before attacking him themselves. See The Gauntlet (Amazing Spider-Man #612-633) and The Grim Hunt. (Amazing Spider-Man #634-637)

2. Carlie discovered that her father was still alive and faked his death because he was a dirty cop working for the Maggia. See Amazing Spider-Man #618-620.

3. Assuming that Carlie is roughly the same age as Peter Parker (Civil War #2 and the Sliding Timescale dictate he’d be around 28 at this time) Carlie is stated as being 14 years old during this flashback, then the flashback would take place about 14 years prior to the main story.

All the World’s a Stage

Mary Jane Watson exits the studio where her show “Sewn Up” is made and is greeted by a crowd of fans. Soon she and her agent get into a waiting limo and are on their way. Mary Jane is stripping off her clothes so she can audition for something incognito. When her agent offers to arrange a private audition, Mary Jane refuses to do this wanting to earn the role fair and square. Along the way, their limo driver is slowed down as Spider-Man is in the battle of with Lady Stilt-Man.[1] With her disguise on, Mary Jane tells her driver that she can walk the rest of the way.

Under the alias Emma Holmes, Mary Jane does a reading where she puts on an emotional performance by thinking about her turbulent relationship with Peter Parker.[2] Unfortunately, she doesn’t get the role because the director deems her too attractive to be the female lead. On her way home, Mary Jane decides to stop into a nearby book store and is hurt to see that Peter’s photobook “Webs” is on clearance and wonders if she should give him a call.[3] She decides against it because she needs to move forward with her life. Stepping into the bathroom, Mary Jane changes out of her disguise and arrives at her autograph signing to promote her role in Captain Fate 4. Mary Jane decides to just enjoy her fame while it lasts because this is all she has ever wanted, isn’t it?

Recurring Characters

Mary Jane Watson, Spider-Man, Lady Stilt-Man

Continuity Notes

1. Mary Jane isn’t surprised to see Spider-Man, figuring she’d have to run into him after moving back to the city. Peter and Mary Jane broke up, seemingly for good, in Amazing Spider-Man #545. She recently moved back to New York in Amazing Spider-Man #600 after a failed attempt at breaking back into Hollywood. See Amazing Spider-Man #605.

2. These flashbacks cover some key moments in Peter and Mary Jane’s relationship:

   • One of the flashbacks is of the moment when Mary Jane revealed that she knew Peter was secretly Spider-Man and that she originally left town that was in Amazing Spider-Man #257-258. As revealed in Marvel Graphic Novel #46, she has known since the night that Peter caught the burglar who murdered Uncle Ben back in Amazing Fantasy #15.

   • The second flashback is when Peter proposed to Mary Jane the first time and she turned him down. See Amazing Spider-Man #182-183.

3. Webs was a book of photos of Spider-Man that Peter has taken over the years. It was first published in Amazing Spider-Man #304.

Topical References

• Mary Jane’s agent thinks that Conan O’Brien is asking MJ to be on his late-night talk show until she realizes that the request is actually coming from Neal Conan. These should be considered topical references. Conan O’Brien is ending his late-night show in June 2021, and Neal Conan retired as an NPR radio host in 2013. Also, they’re real-world people.

Chronology of Story #1

As I stated above, the Marvel Chronology Project places this story as happening between Amazing Spider-Man #205 and 226 for the Black Cat. This does not fit with her continuity. In this story, the Black Cat already appears to have a friendly relationship with Spider-Man and is helping him fight crime. He even trusts her to stay behind at the bank when the police come to take the Occultist away.

This does not mesh with the Black Cat’s personality and the events where the MCP places it. First of all, Amazing Spider-Man #205 is a story where the Black Cat is still a villain. It ends with her faking a mental break down and being taken to a mental health facility for treatment. In issue #226 she breaks out of that facility is still treated as a villain. In the following issue, Spider-Man tries to convince the Cat to go straight and she seemingly drowns a river before Jean DeWolff could get amnesty papers signed. There is no way where this story can fit during this time frame without disrupting continuity.

It’s my opinion that this story takes place between Peter Parker, the Spectacular Spider-Man #86, and Amazing Spider-Man #249. The reason why it fits here is that the Black Cat is no longer a criminal, and has started helping Spider-Man fight crime.

The other issue is with Lightmaster. The MCP’s placement doesn’t fit because the villain had been dissipated since Amazing Spider-Man #203 and he won’t get integrated again until Marvel Team-Up #113.