Double Shots

A man in a trenchcoat and hat enters the Bar With No Name, a bar that serves super-villains. His arrival is noticed by the waitress — Timber — because she hasn’t seen this man before. The man explains that he was intrigued to hear that this bar existed and wanted to see it for himself. That’s when he notices Whirlwind and Mister Hyde having a heated argument at the nearby pool table. Timber says that while Whirlwind is cool, he can’t hold his liquor and Mister Hyde is someone to stay away from. When she asks if the man is a super-villain he responds by asking if he looks like one. Timber admits that he doesn’t look like a villain. The mystery man admits that he is envious of the patrons and then asks for a double shot of bourbon, neat.

At the bar, the Matador and Stilt-Man are talking about their mutual enemy, Daredevil. Stilt-Man is convinced that Daredevil is gay because of his bright red costume, billy-club and because he thinks that their foe talks with a lisp. The Matador, however, doesn’t think Daredevil has a lisp. When Stilt-Man suggests that Matador might be gay as well — because of his bullfighter’s outfit — the Matador gets offended and is about to start a fight when the bartender, Calab, reminds them that there is no fighting or they’ll get kicked out.[1] When everyone wants to see the pair fight it out, Whirlwind reminds everyone not to cross Calab as he was Doctor Doom’s head of security for twelve years before the working bar. This sobering fact causes the uneasy peace between patrons to continue.

That’s when the Vulture enters the bar and has a seat with the stranger. Adrian Tooms has had a lousy week and wonders why his friend wanted to meet at this bar, calling it a hellhole. The stranger admits that the place is amusing. However, the Vulture isn’t happy about their meeting place and has a particular hatred for the waitress who turned him down when he tried to ask her out on a date. Tooms then goes on a rant about how he dated a woman for six months who complained about his snoring to the point where he agreed to get corrective surgery. The procedure was painful and took two months to fully heal but by the time it was done, he was dumped. Adding to his frustration is that he doesn’t know if he is still snoring or not. The stranger then suggests they get down to business. The subject is they are talking about is Spider-Man, whom the Vulture faced recently and lost. The Vulture goes off about how Spider-Man doesn’t fight fair and that there should be rules. The stranger regrets that there are few rules in the world they live in.

That’s when Alyosha Kravinoff interrupts their conversation, saying that there are rules in the jungles where he was raised, saying that there are so many rules that it nerve-racking. Joining the stranger and the Vulture, Tombstone also approaches the table, who decides to settle an old grudge he had with Kravinoff’s father by taking it out on him.[2] Aloysha is bored with all of this but when Tombstone insists on a fight, he lands a single blow so fast and so powerful, it takes all the fight out of Tombstone who agrees to back off. When the waitress arrives with their drinks, the Vulture gets upset when she flirts with Aloysha is dating the waitress he was interested in. Aloysha points out that the Vulture can’t date because he is old, bald, and ugly, and named himself after a bird also known for those characteristics. Getting down to business, Alyosha also admits that he has been having a bad week because of Spider-Man, saying how the wall-crawler needed help from the Human Torch when dealing with him. Adding insult to injury, Aloysha wasn’t even committing a crime, and was targeted because he was in an argument with the Baritone crime family out in New Jersey. First, he was attacked by the Human Torch and quickly had the flaming hero at his mercy after dousing his flame with a firehose. That’s when Spider-Man arrived to save his friend. Although Spider-Man had the element of surprise, Aloysha would have won the fight had the Human Torch not recovered and trapped him in a cage made of fire. He was sent to jail, but thanks to his highly litigious lawyer, Aloysha was released from custody soon after.

Although they all agree the number of super-heroes out there is a nuisance they all change the subject to talking about how attractive they all think Jean Grey is. When the Vulture suggests he could “get her” if the situation was right, this leads to laughter from his companions. This leads to another conversation about how unattractive the Vulture is and that his cannot compete with Jean Grey’s lover, Cyclops of the X-Men. They then talk about various female superheroes they find attractive. This prompts the Vulture to ask why there aren’t more attractive women in their line of work.[3] Aloysha then admits to dating Silver Sable for a time, but says he didn’t like her because she never asked anything about himself. The stranger then states that he doesn’t date within the business because he thinks it’s a mistake. When the Vulture suggests neither one of them would turn down dating the Black Widow, the stranger says that redheads are crazy and dangerous to deal with. The Vulture calls bullshit on this, and Aloysha upsets him even more by admitting that he went out on a dinner date with the Widow once.

They then have Toomes explain what happened with his encounter with Spider-Man. The Vulture explains that he was attempting to rob an armored car along the Jersey Turnpike. He figured Spider-Man would be around to interfere when suddenly the wall-crawler ambushed him from a nearby tree. After a humiliating defeat, the Vulture just barely managed to get away. What really bothers the Vulture is the wall-crawler’s constant jokes during their fight. The Vulture is upset because the jokes are always so personal. Aloysha then goes off on a rant about how everything in the United States is personal, from politicians they despise to the content of the most profitable magazines. The Vulture then concludes his story by explaining how he managed to escape which is just as humiliating as his battle with Spider-Man. Their fight took them near a chicken farm and to cover his escape the Vulture to free a bunch of chickens which Spider-Man, of course, had to stop and catch for the farm owner. When Aloysha mocks him for this, the Vulture gets his ire by accusing him of being born with a silver spoon in his mouth. That’s when their mystery friend reminds them that they came for some laughs, not to fight among themselves.

They then change the subject to wearing body armor. The Vulture contemplates starting to wear his armored costume again, but Aloysha points out how ridiculous the Falcon looks in his.[4] Their friend also agrees that armored costumes get in the way. That’s when the Vulture and Kraven notice they haven’t talked about their friend’s recent encounter with Spider-Man. The stranger starts by explaining that he and Spider-Man have a different relationship and he doesn’t joke with him as he does other foes, but declines to get into details. He then quickly pays the bill and is about to leave when the others ask why his relationship with Spider-Man is so different. The mystery man explains that after losing against Spider-Man he broke his own rule and made it personal and did something to the wall-crawler that the hero refuses to forget. They keep on pressing the issue and that’s when the stranger — who turns out to be none other than Norman Osborn — takes off his hat and tells them that he kidnapped Spider-Man’s girlfriend and murdered her. He admits that he loved every moment of it.[5] This is said loud enough to everyone in the bar causing a sudden silence. Osborn then drinks his shot and tells Kraven and the Vulture that he’ll see them next week. Changing into the Green Goblin, Osborn then flies away on his Goblin Glider.

Recurring Characters

Green Goblin, Kraven the Hunter, Vulture, Boomerang, Doctor Octopus, Matador, Mister Hyde, Radioactive Man, Rhino, Rocket Racer, Stilt-Man, Tinkerer, Tombstone, Whirlwind, Whiplash, Spider-Man

Continuity Notes

1. Matador and Stilt-Man are regular Daredevil foes, they first fought the Man Without Fear in Daredevil #5 and 8 respectively.

2. Aloysha’s father, the first Kraven the Hunter, committed suicide in Amazing Spider-Man #294. Aloysha has taken his father’s mantle in Spectacular Spider-Man #243.

3. The Vulture mentions how he once met Medusa while she was a member of the Fightful Four. Medusa was a member of that group from Fantastic Four #36 to 43.

4. The Vulture briefly wore an armored costume from Amazing Spider-Man #387 to Sensational Spider-Man #18.

5. The Green Goblin murdered Gwen Stacy in Amazing Spider-Man #121.

Topical References

The following items in this story should be considered topical references:

• Stilt-Man and Matador’s conversation about if Daredevil and later, Stilt-Man’s suggestion that Matador might be gay because of his costume are outdated stereotypes about the gay community that was common-place at the time this comic book was published. Likewise is the anger Matador has at the mere suggestion that he might be homosexual. These were the attitudes at the time. I’d like to think that this is topical and in a more modern context Stilt-Man is just a bigot and Matador is getting upset because Stilt-Man’s homophobia as opposed to getting mad at the suggestion that he is gay.

• Speak of Stilt-Man and Matador, Stilt-Man sarcastically calls him “Ricky Ricardo”. This is a reference to the character from the sitcom I Love Lucy that ran from 1951 to 1957. The character was played by Cuban-American actor Desi Arnaz. A defining characteristic was the character’s distinct accent. The comment really cements how ignorant Stilt-Man is, since matadors and bullfighting are part of Spanish culture and not part of the culture of Cuba. While Cuba did have bullfighting during the Spanish colonial period the sport was outlawed in that country since the country gained independence in 1902.

• The Vulture states that he underwent laser surgery to correct his snoring problem. This is called uvulopalatopharyngoplasty (try saying that five times fast). It has a 70-80% success rate but snoring can be caused by multiple sources so it’s not entirely effective. It’s a reference here should be considered topical because medical procedures change with advanced in technology and techniques.

• Aloysha also states that he once dated actress Alyssa Milano. Milano was best known for her role of Samantha Micelli, the teenaged on the 80’s sitcom Who’s the Boss? while she was still a teenager.

• Aloysha’s rant about politics and magazines make mention of:

  • Bill Clinton who was the President of the United States from 1993 to 2001. He makes specific reference to allegations of sexual misconduct against Clinton while he was President. These improprieties lead to an impeachment trial in 1998 of which Clinton was aquitted.

  • He also mentions George W. Bush who was president around the time this comic was published. Bush was president from 2001 to 2009. His comments about how Bush was born with “everything we all want”. This is a comment about how George’s family was incredibly wealthy partially due to George’s father, Geoge H.W. Bush, who had a long career in politics with positions in the United Nations, the CIA, as well as stints as President and Vice President of the United States.

  • He also mentions a bunch of magazines. The Wall Street Journal is a financial and business analysis magazine while the subjects covered in Science Digest should be obvious. He also lists a number of tabloid and celebrity gossip magazines: Rolling Stone, US, and Cat Fancy. Of these publications, Cat Fancy has since been canceled in 2015.