Trapped Like Rats! Part One

Fred Meyers has met up with the bartender at his local bar for their date.[1] They have met at the local baseball stadium to watch New York play Philadelphia. Fred has shown up wearing a pair of Groucho glasses. He claims it’s because he doesn’t want to be recognized by autograph-seekers and paparazzi. When she asks for a beer, Fred pulls a can out of his pocket, smuggled in because the price of beer is expensive at the stadium. When he suggests nachos, she wonders if he has those in his pants and he decides against it figuring he wouldn’t want her getting caught stuffing her face on the kiss cam before they start making out. The look she gives him leaves him to believe that if he tried it she’d punch him.

When New York calls Demang Pendak up onto the pitcher’s mound, both discover they have a mutual dislike for the Malaysian pitcher. Fred realizes that he is in love and imagines a future where they get married and have a family. In this fantasy, they even have a kid with super-powers and by the time they are old and grey, the world’s heroes are dead at their feet.

After the game, the pair are heading home and Fred admits that the reason why he dislikes Pendak is that he’s going to break his record of fastest to two hundred strikeouts. The bartender points out that Fred’s record was stricken from the books after he was blacklisted from the league.[2] Fred says the record still exists in people’s hearts even though fans still hate him. As they reach her apartment she asks Fred if he ever misses it. When he tells her that he doesn’t she tells him goodnight. Realizing that she’s cutting the night short he changes his tune and tells her that he does miss it and wishes he wasn’t just an “insurance salesman” anymore. This garners a kiss on the cheek and when he openly asks to be invited upstairs she tells him goodnight. Not willing to give up, Fred tells the bartender that he’ll call her. He leaves with a smile on his face, considering the night out to be a success.

Meyers then goes home and thinks about how rich he’s going to be now that he has successfully stolen a rare portrait of Doctor Doom with his mask off. Gazing at the portrait in his apartment he thinks about how it came to be. There was once a famous painter named Boudaire who was brought to Latveria to paint Doctor Doom. The artist managed to convince Doctor Doom to allow his actual face be painted.[3][4] When Doom woke up the next morning, hungover from the previous night’s drinking, and saw what Boudaire had done he killed the artist with one of his death rays. However, Doom couldn’t bring himself to destroy the painting and instead locked it away. There it remained until the Kristoff Regime when it was stolen and changed hands until he ultimately ended up in the Owl’s possession.[5]

Boomerang stops his inner monologue to address the fact that this all started off as a ploy to steal the head of Silvermane. He explains that the story about SIlvermane’s head surviving his destruction was nothing more than a myth.[6] He is unaware that the story was true and that the Shocker has recently found SIlvermane’s head. The story about Silvermane was only a means to an end to convince both the Chameleon and the Sinister Six to assist him in recovering the painting, unaware of what he was really after. The reason why Boomerang didn’t let them all in on the truth was so he wouldn’t have to split the money he makes on selling the portrait afterward, deciding that he wants to live it rich on the proceeds. After the raid on the Owl’s hideout, Boomerang figures that the rest of the Sinister Six is probably dead by now.

Boomerang would be wrong as, at that moment, the rest of the Sinister Six — the Beetle, Overdrive, and Speed Demon — are now being questioned by the Owl. Overdrive tries to explain to the mobster that they were tricked by Boomerang, but the Beetle tells him to shut up. She then tells the Owl that he is going to want to let her and her teammates go. The Owl is impressed with the girl but he refuses to let them go because Boomerang managed to steal something from him, but doesn’t explain exactly what it was. He then pulls out a hacksaw and demands they tell him where Boomerang went before he starts sawing off their limbs.

The Beetle has a counteroffer, that they let her and the rest of the Sinister Six go and they won’t tell anyone about how bad the Owl’s security is. The Owl is insulted and orders one of his men to shoot her in the head. This whole time, Beetle has managed to pull out her phone and has been sending a text to somebody. She warns the Owl one last time to consider her offer, telling him that Boomerang is going to be the last person he’ll be worrying about.

By this time, Fred Myers has been woken up from a dream of riches by the sound of someone banging at his door. It is his parole officer, Mach-VII who has come to check on him. Realizing that he has to cover up the stolen portrait, Fred quickly covers it with a movie poster. When he finally lets Abner into his apartment, the parole officer tells Fred about how someone using exploding boomerangs freed his teammates from police custody.[7] Fred acts surprised and suggests that there might be a new Boomerang on the loose and offers his expertise to hunt this criminal down.[8] Mach-VII isn’t really convinced but is distracted by the poster covering up the portrait of Doctor Doom. It’s of an obscure romantic comedy, but Fred insists that he is a fan of the film. Abner is certain that Meyers is up to something and warns him that he is going to find out the truth. Mach-VII then tries to leave out the window while making a witty remark, but discovers the wingspan on his costume is too wide for him to fit. Embarrassed, Abner leaves the door and tells Fred the witty line as he goes. Fred is impressed by how witty it is and promises to call Abner later.

Flopping onto the couch, Boomerang figures he got off easy but realizes how wrong he is when someone knocks at his door again. At first, he thinks it’s Mach-VII coming back because he forgot something, but it turns out to be the Chameleon who has one of his heavies knock Fred out.

Back at the Owl’s lair, the mobster is about to eliminate the Sinister Six when they hear the Beetle’s cell phone vibrating. The Owl orders one of his men to take it and read the message she just received. The sender is telling her that they are just outside. The Beetle once more warns the Owl that this would be a good time to let them all free. However, the Owl demands to know where they have taken his painting. This is the first the Sinister Six have heard of a painting and this revelation comes as a shock. However, before things can get straighten out the wall behind the Owl is blown open by an explosive. Armed gunmen come rushing in and quickly take down the guards as the Owl slips away. That’s when Tombstone enters the room and demands to know what’s going on. The Beetle then takes off her mask and says hello to her father.

Recurring Characters

Sinister Six (Boomerang, Beetle, Overdrive, Shocker, Speed Demon), the Owl, Silvermane, Chameleon, Doctor Doom (flashback), Tombstone, Black Cat (in disguise)

Continuity Notes

1. This nameless bartender is later revealed to be the Black Cat as we’ll learn in Superior Foes of Spider-Man #17

2. As we learned from Superior Foes of Spider-Man #1, Fred was a Major League baseball player who was kicked out of the league after getting caught in a betting scandal.

3. In this flashback, Doom uncharacteristically sobs about being unable to call his mother. Although this is the product of Fred’s embellishment it is based on a real concern. Doom’s mother, Cynthia Von Doom, was a Romani woman who practiced the mystical arts. When she died, Cynthia’s soul ended up in Hell. Doom’s face was scarred when an experiment to contact her soul ended up literally blowing up in his face. See Fantastic Four #5, Astonishing Tales #8, and Books of Doom #1.

4. Fred mentions the rumors about Doom’s face if it was totally scarred or if it was only burned slightly. He refuses to tell the reader and this story conveniently obscures the portrait so you can’t see its face. In reality, the explosion that scarred Victor Von Doom’s face only caused minor damage. In reality, his face did not become horribly scarred until an order of Tibetan monks created his armor and he foolishly put the mask on while it was still hot from the forge, horribly burning his face. See Fantastic Four #278.

5. The so-called “Kristoff Regime” was when Latveria was ruled by Kristoff Vernard. Kristoff was an orphan who was taken into Doom’s care and raised as his heir and successor. When Doom was seemingly killed battling Tyros the Terrible, Kristoff’s mind was reprogrammed to make him believe that he was the Doctor Doom and he took over as ruler. Ultimately, the real Doom turned up alive but was deposed as ruler because Kristoff was able to convince his Doombots that he was the real Dr. Doom. Ultimately, however, Doom eventually won back his empire. See Fantastic Four #247, 260, 287, 288, 278, Annual #20, and 350.

6. Silvermane’s body was destroyed in a car crusher during a clash between the Maggia and the Owl’s gang. See Amazing Spider-Man #618.

7. That was Boomerang himself in issue #4.

8. Fred suggests that there might be more than one Boomerang on the loose, saying that they could be a cyborg, a teenager, and a black man. This is a tongue and cheek reference to DC Comic’s Reign of Superman storyline. Following the death of Superman in Superman (vol. 2) #75 a quartet of different Supermen surfaced to take his place. One was a cyborg, the other a teenaged clone, the other was a black man in a suit of armor, and the fourth was a light construct that took on the form of Superman. See Action Comics #687-691, Adventures of Superman #501-505, Superman (vol. 2) #78-82, and Superman: The Man of Steel #22-26.

Topical References

• Boomerang takes his date to see a baseball game between the New York Mets and the Philadelphia Phillies at Citi Field. The team names and the name of the baseball field should be considered topical as these teams and the field itself could change names in the future. For example, the Mets home used to be a Shea Stadium until 2008 for example. Although the Mets have never changed their name it’s entirely possible it could change at some point in the future. The Phillies have had two different names (The Blue Jays and the Quakers) in the past.

• Dated pop-culture references: Titanic, Police Academy, Silence of the Lambs, Paul Simon’s “You’ll Be in My Heart”, The Ugly Truth, Katherine Heigl, Gerard Butler