Trapped Like Rats! Part Two

Fred Myers dreams that he has found a treasure chest full of jewels at the bottom of the ocean. Grabbing some of the gems he takes them to the surface and presents them to the bartender he has been dating.[1] She tells him it’s not worth it. When he realizes that he has control over the dream he tries to imagine the bartender topless. She gets mad and she shoves his head under water and shouts at him to wake up.

That’s when Fred wakes up and discovers that one of the Chameleon’s men has dunked his head in the toilet in an effort to wake him up. The Chameleon is furious that Fred hasn’t been in contact after attacking the Owl’s hideout and he demands to know where the head of Silvermane is. Unfortunately, Fred doesn’t have what the master spy is looking for.

This is because the head of Silvermane is in possession of the Shocker, who happened upon it by chance after being dumped in a junk yard. Sitting in his kitchen the Shocker tries to figure out what to do next when Silvermane begins demanding something to eat. As the Shocker gets him some left-over corn beef hash, the cyborg mobster is shocked to learn that the Shocker actually lives here. He thought that the Shocker killed the actual owner of the dump. Herman meekly explains he lives here because it is a rent-controlled building. When the Shocker introduces himself as Spider-Man’s “arch-enemy” this makes Silvermane laugh and he demands that his captor get him pizza. When the Shocker protests this, trying to assert that he is in charge in this situation, the disembodied head of Silvermane leaps off the table and bites his nose.

While at the Owl’s hideout, Tombstone has just saved his daughter, the Beetle, and her teammates Overdrive and Speed Demon. Overdrive and Speed Demon are shocked to learn that Beetle is Tombstone’s daughter, something she hadn’t previously brought up because she didn’t think it was pertinent. The Beetle changes the subject, reminding her teammates that Boomerang played them, stealing a painting while leaving them to be captured by the Owl. She orders Speed Demon and Overdrive to split up and search for Boomerang.

Back at Fred Meyer’s apartment, the Chameleon begins torturing Fred to find out where the head of Silvermane is. Getting painful electroshocks, Fred tries to remind the Chameleon that this was an urban myth. When this doesn’t work, he tries to convince the Chameleon that when he went to the Owl’s hideout to get it he couldn’t find it. The spy doesn’t buy this and thinks that Fred is hiding the head from him. He pauses for a moment to admire the poster for a romantic comedy that Fred has hanging on his wall, unaware that it is hiding the real thing that Fred was after — a portrait of Doctor Doom that reveals his unmasked face. Getting back on topic, the Chameleon decides to search the apartment and has his hired muscle knock Fred out again.

Fred finds himself dreaming again. This time he is playing poker with the bar tender in a swimming pool full of sand. She tells him that this was all the result of his own greed and suggests that he makes some changes in his life. Suddenly a pirate ship shows up and pirates begin chasing him. As Fred runs for his life the bartender follows him on a riding mower. She is surprised to see him running away, pointing out that he wanted to be a pirate ever since he was a kid. Suddenly, Fred is wearing an eye patch and he dismisses this, saying he wanted to be a baseball player. That’s when the bar tender suddenly turns into a budgie, and calls him a disappointment. That’s when a massive flaming demon, laying on a massive lawn chair, leans over and agrees with her.

That’s when Fred wakes up on the floor of his apartment and finds a note stuck to his face. It thanks him for an alternative payment method for the job he was supposed to do. That’s when he notices that the portrait of Doctor Doom has been taken. That’s when there is another knock on his door. Thinking this might be another attacker, Fred answer it with one of his boomerangs. It’s the bartender he’s been dating and she responds by kicking him in the groin and throwing him to the ground. She reminds him that they were supposed to go out for a drink. Fred instantly switches to sleaze mode and takes her to a local bar. There, he tries to impress her by telling her that he’s the super-villain known as Boomerang.[2] She is disgusted by this and is about to leave when he won’t be straight about if he kills people. He manages to convince her to stay by saying he doesn’t kill civilians (even thought this is a lie) and she admits that his being a super-villain isn’t entirely a turn-off.

With this finally out in the open, Fred suddenly finds it easy to tell the bartender all about his life as a criminal. He even tells her about his latest heist and how it went wrong. While he is telling her this, the Shocker has gotten pizza for Silvermane, the rest of the Sinister Six continue their search for Fred, and the Chameleon hangs up the painting of Doctor Doom. As he walks her home for the night, she suggests that he try to get the painting back by forming a new crew.[3] Still, Fred thinks this is not going to work out after the disaster of his last heist turned out to be. However, the bartender points out that this is loser talk and encourages Fred to be the best super-villain there can be.

This is an inspiration for Fred who reminds himself how he manipulated everyone to get what he wanted and succeeded no matter the odds. When he turns to kiss the bartender he believes that he is close to greatness and will not let it slip out of his grasp. Unfortunately for Fred Meyers, he is currently in the sights of Bulleye’s sniper rifle.[4]

Recurring Characters

Sinister Six (Boomerang, Beetle, Overdrive, Shocker, Speed Demon), Silvermane, Chameleon, Tombstone, Inspector, Black Cat (in disguise)

Continuity Notes

1. The nameless bartender turns out to be the Black Cat in disguise as we’ll learn in Superior Foes of Spider-Man #17

2. Fred mentions how he was a member of the Masters of Evil here. He was a member of the Crimson Cowl’s team in Thunderbolts #24-25.

3. When considering forming a new crew, Fred recalls that there is a female Scorpion now. Technically there have been two. The first one was Scorpia, aka Elaine Coll, who first appeared in Spider-Man: Power of Terror #2. The second female Scorpion, aka Carmilla Black who first appeared on the scene in Amazing Fantasy (vol. 2) #7.

4. This is not the real Bullseye, but a Life Model Decoy, as we’ll learn next issue.

Topical References

• Dated Pop-Culture References: Blood Diamonds, Leonardo DiCaprio, The Little Mermaid, Ikea, Ugly Truth, Katherine Heigl

• When Fred realizes that he is dreaming he says “Thanks Obama!” and Obama — who is barbequing on a nearby island — says “you’re welcome”. “Thanks Obama” was a sarcastic response by those who did not like the choices made when Obama was president from 2009 to 2017.