Bullseye!

Fred Meyers is ending a date with his bartender with a kiss.[1] He becomes aware that Bullseye is preparing to shoot him with a sniper rifle from a nearby rooftop. When the assassin fires his weapon, Fred tosses a boomerang into the air that deflects the bullet.

Fred scoffs at the idea that Bullseye never misses, and chalks that up to branding. A post on social media of Bullseye fighting Wolverine will get a million hits, while Boomerang getting spotted eating fast food doesn’t generate any hits. He recalls how both he and Boomerang applied to be the Kingpin’s chief assassin. Boomerang was overlooked for Bullseye because the Kingpin, according to Fred, was going for someone with personality. He thinks about all the times Bullseye has had personal vendetta with Daredevil and bets that Bullseye regrets killing the hero’s girlfriends all the time as he could be hooking up with them instead.[2] Thinking of the nights when everyone paid attention to Bullseye while he drank alone, Fred concludes that Bullseye is nothing more than good marketing. As he recalls all of this he and his bartending girlfriend have ran for cover in a church. He figures that odds are not good but figures they could be worse.

At that moment, Hydro-Man has come to pay a visit to his friend the Shocker for their movie night. Herman has been hiding the head of Silvermane in his apartment and tries to send Morris away so that he can keep this a secret. However, Bench needs to have a regular routine as he is going through rehab and pleads with Herman not to break it because he’ll end up getting drunk at a bar. Feeling sorry for Hydro-Man, the Shocker decides to let him in but asks him to hold on a second. When Herman tries to put Silvermane in the closet, Hydro-Man overhears the protests and thinks that the Shocker is trying to lock an old man in the closet and forces himself inside. Hydro-Man’s forced entry into the apartment forces Shocker to reveal the truth.

Back at the church, Bullseye forces himself into the church and begins looking for Boomerang. He has a bone to pick with Fred because he has been telling everyone that Bullseye is the second best assassin in the city. Fred decides to act and comes up from behind one of the pews and tosses his boomerang at Bullsye. It misses, but Fred expects that it will look around and hit his enemy from behind. However, Bullseye has anticipated this and shuts the church door behind him, cutting off the weapon’s return. In a moment of cowardice, Fred grabs his bartender girlfriend and pleads with Bullseye to kill her instead of him so he can live with the torment of her death until he’s old and grey. She doesn’t take kindly to this and elbows Fred in the dick. As he blacks out from the pain, Bullseye begins hitting on her and Fred hopes that this is just another dream.

Back at the Shocker’s apartment, Hydro-Man realizes that the Shocker could become the head of the Maggia with the head of Silvermane. Herman knows this but doesn’t want the responsibility. He is afraid of the heat being the head of the Maggia would bring down on him and admits all he ever wanted to do was keep his head down and make a living and retire early. He was planning on retiring to Hoboken when this happened and wonders why he took Silvermane to begin with. However, Hydro-Man points out that the Shocker has no confidence and reminds him that he almost killed Spider-Man on a few occasions. This convinces Herman to reconsider the situation. That’s when Hydro-Man says he needs to use the bathroom, but uses this as a cover to escape. When the Shocker discovers this a moment later, Silvermane calls him an idiot.

Meanwhile, Boomerang and his girlfriend have been taken prisoner by Bulleye and delivered to the Owl. The Owl demands to know where his stolen painting is. When the gag is removed from Fred’s mouth he assures the Owl that he wasn’t involved in the heist. He then tells the Owl that he was actually impersonated by the Chameleon who was the one responsible for stealing the painting and can prove it by going to the Chameleon’s hideout and photograph it. The Owl finds this an interesting proposal but doubts that he could get out of the Chameleon’s hideout after being so easily captured. When Fred points out that Bullseye is the number one assassin, the Owl reveals that this is not the real Bullseye but a Life Model Decoy created by the Tinkerer.

Keeping his girlfriend as a hostage, the Owl allows Boomerang to go out and confront the Chameleon and recover the painting. Fred rings the doorbell and is invited up. Rigged with a hidden camera, he then records the evidence that the Chameleon has the Doctor Doom painting. He then gets the Chameleon to talk about how Fred promised him the head of Silvermane as a cover to steal the painting. When Fred complains about how the Chameleon couldn’t have gotten the painting like he could, it presses the Chameleon to prove himself by taking on the form of Boomerang. This gives Boomerang all the “evidence” to sell his lie. He is later kicked out of the Chameleon’s hideout and sends a signal to the Bullseye LMD that he got everything he needed. Feeling great about himself, Boomerang strolls back to the Owl’s hideout, stealing a man’s wallet along the way. Unfortunately, he doesn’t make it as Beetle and Overdrive have just found him. Override orders Boomerang to get into the suped up school bus that he arrived in as the children on board play with various ninja weapons that are sticking out of its frame.

Recurring Characters

Sinister Six (Boomerang, Beetle, Overdrive, Shocker, Speed Demon), Silvermane, Hydro-Man, Owl, Chameleon, Tinkerer, (in flashback) Bullseye, Kingpin, Ox, Fancy Dan, Doctor Bong, Titania, Scorpion, Bulldozer, Puff Adder, Black Cat (in disguise)

Continuity Notes

1. The nameless bartender in this story later turns out to be the Black Cat in disguise, as we’ll learn in Superior Foes of Spider-Man #17.

2. Bullseye has killed two of Daredevil’s lovers in the past. The first was Elektra, who Bullseye killed in Daredevil #181, although she was later resurrected in Daredevil #190. The second woman was Karen Page, whom Bullseye murdered in Daredevil (vol. 2) #5.

Topical References

• Dated pop-culture references: Burger King Value Meal, Twitter, Goodfellas, Katherine Heigl, Netflix, Christina Hendricks, Jack in the Box

• Outdated technology: Hydro-Man has movies that are on Blu Ray.