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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Amazing Spider-Man #270

Amazing Spider-Man #270

The Hero and the Holocaust

Firelord erupts from the East River, furious at the dishonor Spidey has caused him. He reminisces how he visited Earth only to partake in its delights, but was attacked "without explanation" by men mistaking him for a mutant, and would have killed those men if not for Spider-Man's intervention. Spider-Man's audacity must not go unpunished, so he sets off to find him.

Meanwhile, Spidey brainstorms ideas on how to end Firelord's rampage, realizing there's no way to reason with the former herald's strange alien code of honor. Just then his spider-sense sets off, and he dodges Firelord's attacks. He decides to lure him indoors so as to avoid collateral damage, venturing into an office building. One of the employees activates the sprinkler system, which on contact with Firelord's body creates enough steam to mask Spidey's escape.

At the Daily Bugle, J. Jonah Jameson is introduced by Robbie to their new city editor, Ms. Kathryn Cushing. A secretary bursts in informing them of the commotion going on in mid-town involving Spider-Man. Cushing leaves to investigate, and upon her departure, Jameson warns Robbie that she is rude, arrogant and opinionated.

Spider-Man gets an idea and heads to the Grand Central Terminal, goading Firelord into colliding headfirst with an oncoming train; Unfortunately, he heightens his body temperature enough to easily pierce through it, avoiding any casualties. Spidey laments that he could've gotten someone hurt, formulating a new plan. The Avengers get an emergency signal from the police department, stating that "Firelord Is On A Rampage!"

Firelord bursts through the ground, having been confused by the subway tunnels and decided to just fly out. Turns out Spidey hitched a ride to an elevated track, just in time to be found. Firelord contemplates creating a nova blast to obliterate Spider-Man (along with New York,) but decides such a victory would not be worthy, and he must crush his foe in personal combat. He encircles the train with solar flares, which die out the instant Spider-Man leaps from it. Seeing a demolition crew, Spidey decides to use the soon to be demolished the building as the perfect place to take down Firelord, telling the workers to set it off as soon as they count to a thousand. Firelord arrives and battles the web-head, until his spider-sense rings go off and he escapes the building right before it falls, seemingly crushing the former herald.

Since the building wasn't big enough, Spidey lures Firelord to a gas station, causing him to seemingly destroy himself by firing an energy blast at its vicinity. Despite totaling over a block of abandoned housing, Firelord is unscathed. At this point Spider-Man has had enough of Firelord's lethal attempts at his life, finally fighting back, barraging him with blow after blow until he falls. Just then the Avengers appear, with Captain America congratulating Spidey on a job well done, stating from what he saw Firelord couldn't lay a hand on him. He replies that he's just lucky... REAL lucky.

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, J. Jonah Jameson, Betty Brant, Joe Robertson, Kate Cushing, Firelord, Avengers (Captain America, Black Knight, Hercules, Starfox, Wasp), Raymond Sikorski

Continuity Notes

  • The depiction of building at 200 Park Avenue as the Pan Am building should be considered a topical reference per the Sliding Timescale of Earth-616. Particularly since the building was renamed to the Metlife Building in 1992.

  • The details of the Avengers stern discussion with Raymond Sikorski is depicted in Avengers #258.

  • This story makes multiple mentions of how Firelord is a former herald of Galactus. His tenure lasted from Thor #225-228.

Amazing Spider-Man #269

Amazing Spider-Man #269

Amazing Spider-Man Annual #19

Amazing Spider-Man Annual #19