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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Amazing Spider-Man #368

Amazing Spider-Man #368

On Razored Wings

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Swinging across the city, Spider-Man is suddenly attacked by a strange robotic creature. He manages to avoid the opening salvo, but he is confused as to why the thing is attacking him. He quickly webs up the creature, unaware that there is a small mechanical spider is observing the battle. Unfortunately, the wall-crawler's webbing can't stop the creature to rip the webbing apart. As the hero struggles to find a way to contain the robot, a group of construction workers witnesses the battle. One of the men wants to help Spider-Man because the hero saved his son when Carnage attacked a rock concert not long ago.[1] Picking up a jackhammer, the construction worker manages to impale it through the creature's neck. The robot whips the man away, but the attack gives Spider-Man a chance to leap onto the robot and rip the head off the machine. With the danger over, Spider-Man thanks to the construction worker for his help and swings away. As he leaves the scene, the mechanical spider scurries away.

Spider-Man eventually arrives at the Daily Bugle, his mind still troubled about the fact that his parents have somehow returned from the dead.[2] After picking up his paycheck, Peter overhears Ben Urich and other reporters talking about the small mechanical spiders that have been seen all over the city. Overhearing this, J. Jonah Jameson comes out of his office and opines that it's probably Spider-Man up to something no good. This is the first Peter has heard of these mechanical spiders but wonders if they have anything to do with the robot that attacked him. Changing back into Spider-Man, Peter returns to his apartment in Soho where he discovers that Felicia Hardy is waiting for him. She explains that she had heard from her boyfriend Flash Thompson about the apparent return of Peter's parents and has come to see how he is handling this situation.[3] That's when Peter's wife Mary Jane calls and reminds Peter that he is due in Forest Hills so he can show his parents around the city.[4]

While Peter is still uncertain about his parents, he brushes off Felicia's questions about putting off this meeting. While in Queens, Aunt May tries to bow out of the trip to the city. However, Richard insists that May come along, telling her that they don't intend to replace her in Peter's life, reminding May that they are all family. By the time Peter arrives in Forest Hills, he spots someone lurking outside Aunt May's house. When he confronts the man, he learns that he is an FBI agent named Charles Shaddock. Shaddock tells Parker that he is involved in an official FBI investigation and warns Peter about interfering again in the future. Soon, Peter and Mary Jane are showing Richard and Mary around Manhattan. The couple are surprised by how much things have changed, for better or for worse in the city.[5] When they decide to go out for something to eat, Peter spots a purse snatching and tells his family that he is going to call the police. In reality, he changes into Spider-Man and easily webs up the thief. However, his spider-sense begins going off again and he is ambushed by another robot. This one a flying bird-of-prey type creature with three spear-tipped "tail feathers". The wall-crawler tries to get the robot away from innocent people but ends up maneuvering it toward where Mary Jane and the Parkers are. Richard and Mary are shocked to see this costumed hero, and are told that it is Spider-Man.[6]

When the creature starts shooting projectiles out of its mouth, threatening innocent people, Spider-Man decides to go on the offensive. He quickly ends the battle by driving his fist into the robot's head, causing it to fall harmlessly to the ground. With the battle over, Spider-Man slips away to change back into Peter Parker and rejoin his family. As his alleged parents suggest Peter move to the suburbs, Peter wonders who is sending these robots after him and why. Meanwhile, at a secret facility, a muscular man in a high tech wheelchair has been observing the battles with Spider-Man and the robots. He is the one who created them and assures that this is merely the beginning.

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, J. Jonah Jameson, Felicia Hardy, Mary Jane Watson, Aunt May, “Richard and Mary Parker”, Alistair Smythe, Ben Urich, Charles Shaddock

Continuity Notes

  1. Carnage attacked a heavy metal festival at Madison Square Gardens in Amazing Spider-Man #363.

  2. Peter's parents were killed on a mission for the CIA in Amazing Spider-Man Annual #5. Recently, in Amazing Spider-Man #365, Peter was introduced to a couple claiming to be his parents. It is later revealed in Amazing Spider-Man #388 that these are actually simulacrums created by the Chameleon.

  3. It is mentioned that Felicia Hardy is no longer the Black Cat, and that she used to have a relationship with Peter Parker. Their relationship lasted from Peter Parker, The Spectacular Spider-Man #75-100. Felicia had recently lost her powers in Amazing Spider-Man #343. She has since mostly retired from her costumed identity, although she briefly reprised her role as the Black Cat in Web of Spider-Man #80, Infinity War #3, and Wonder Man #13.

  4. Peter and Mary Jane are referred to as husband and wife here. However, years later, their marriage was erased from existence by the demon Mephisto in Amazing Spider-Man #545. As such they should be considered a common-law couple here.

  5. The two remark about a portable tape player. This should be considered a topical reference per the Sliding Timescale of Earth-616.

  6. Mary states that Captain America was around when they were young. The idea of Captain America (or his later successors of the late 40s and early 50s) being active when Richard and Mary Parker were young becomes impossible as the Sliding Timescale moves forward. As such, one could assume that they knew of Captain America since childhood, as opposed to be alive when he was active.

Cashing In

J. Jonah Jameson has called Peter Parker into his office to talk about a delicate matter. Peter wonders what Jonah's game is and decides to listen to what he has to say, and what angle the newspaper publisher is pulling. Jonah reminds Peter how he came into his office looking for help investigating the story of the people claiming to be his parents.[1] Jonah now offers his best reporters to question his parents, and see what they can learn from SHIELD. Jonah continues trying to butter up Peter until he asks for the exclusive rights to tell the story in the Daily Bugle.

Knowing this what Jameson wanted after all, Peter suddenly becomes angry and leaps over Jonah's desk. He furiously grabs Jonah and pins him against the wall and begins demanding to know where the publisher's sense of decency is. Jonah drops the pretense that he and Peter are friends and reminds him that he is his boss. This only makes Parker angrier and he pulls back his fist in order to strike Jameson. That's when Joe Robertson comes into the office and tries to pull Peter off their boss. Joe is surprised by Peter's strength, but Parker eventually calms down and drops Jonah before his temper get the better of him. Peter explains to Joe how Jonah was attempting to exploit him in order to get the story on his parents. Although Jonah has been taking advantage of Peter since high school, he refuses to be exploited anymore.[2] Joe Robertson finds this appalling and scolds Jameson for pulling this stunt.

At first, Jonah gets defensive but quickly realizes that he is in the wrong and apologizes to Peter. Peter apologizes and he soons leave with Joe Robertson to discuss a photo assignment. Once they are gone, Jonah thinks about how neither Peter or Joe understand what is more important here. He gets on the phone and calls one of his reporters and tells them that Parker is not willing to help, and explains that they will have to work around, or over him if need be in order to get the story.

Recurring Characters

Peter Parker, J. Jonah Jameson, Joe Robertson

Continuity Notes

  1. Peter came to Jonah for help in Amazing Spider-Man #366. At the time Jonah says research takes time.

  2. Peter has been taking photos for the Daily Bugle since Amazing Spider-Man #2.

Amazing Spider-Man #367

Amazing Spider-Man #367

Amazing Spider-Man #369

Amazing Spider-Man #369