Amazing Spider-Man #603
Deconstructing Peter
The Chameleon has taken over the identity of Peter Parker and begins the process of learning as much about his life as possible before carrying on his mission. He takes great interest in doing so as he always intends on leaving his victim’s lives better off after he is done with them . First, he fields a call from Glory Grant the assistant to Mayor J. Jonah Jameson. Glory tells “Peter” that he has passed a background check and she makes arrangements for him to meet with the mayor at One Police Plaza before they are taken to the secret shadow control building for the NYPD that is to be used during a terror attack on the city. Glory tells “Peter” that his old high school classmate Flash Thompson will be there. Curious, the Chameleon opens one of Peter’s old yearbooks and finds Flash’s photo. He’s unsurprised to learn that Flash was the Midtown High football star, nor that he called Peter “Puny Parker” when he signed the yearbook. Looking around Peter’s room, the Chameleon notes how anonymous it is, as though it is owned by a refugee that never stays in one place for very long, and seldom sleeps in the room when he does. Coming across a photo of Gwen Stacy, the Chameleon hopes the blonde woman is the Mary Jane he made plans with the day before. Looking through Parker’s personal papers, he finds that on top of being a photographer, Peter has a professional chemistry set and a certificate to teach high school.[1] That’s when Peter’s roommate, Michele Gonzales, comes in and tells him that they need to talk. In the kitchen, Michele decides that, after their recent indiscretions, Peter should move out.[2] Picking up on what’s been going on between the real Peter Parker and the Gonzales woman, the Chameleon begins making out with her. Michele is shocked at first and soon she gives in, ending this discussion for the time being.
Later, the Chameleon keeps his meeting with Mary Jane Watson who is surprised to see that “Peter” is on time for once. When Mary Jane notices lipstick on his collar, she inquires but quickly decides she doesn’t want to know who he’s been seeing. She then starts telling Peter how she learned about Harry’s financial problems following his recent falling out with his father, Norman Osborn.[3] When “Peter” starts telling her about how Harry was tapped to become the American Son — the crown jewel of Osborn’s new Avengers team — and how Spider-Man endorsed it, Mary Jane admits that she hasn’t been keeping track of Spider-Man’s current activities. Unaware that Mary Jane is referring to the fact that Peter Parker s Spider-Man, the Chameleon points out how it was in all the papers and impossible to miss.[3] At first, Mary Jane is insulted by how narcissistic “Peter” is being, she stops herself before they get into another argument. Picking up on the obvious tension, the Chameleon tells Mary Jane that the reason why they never worked is that Mary Jane isn’t the blonde in the photograph he found earlier, he even goes so far as show her it.[4] At first, Mary Jane is shocked to see a picture of Gwen, but is hardly surprised since —between Gwen Stacy and Uncle Ben — people in Peter’s life are constantly being compared with dead people.[5] Their conversation is interrupted when an obsessed fan comes to try — once again — to convince Mary Jane to read a script he wrote with her in mind. After learning that this guy has followed Mary Jane all the way from Los Angeles, “Peter” excuses himself to confront this intrusive fan. Pulling the aspiring screenwriter into a nearby alley, the Chameleon pulls out a gun on him. While pistol-whipping the fan and forces him to not only leave Mary Jane alone but to never utter her name again. Taking the screenplay, the Chameleon dumps it in the trash where it belongs before returning to the coffee shop. Mary Jane gets back on subject and asks Peter what they should do about Harry. The Chameleon assures Mary Jane that he’ll make sure Harry Osborn is taken care of.
Later that day, the Chameleon is in the transport taking him to the secret shadow headquarters for the NYPD. Along the way, he notices that Flash Thompson had lost his legs while serving his country.[4] The Chameleon finds this amusing and openly mocks Flash, telling him that he is the puny one now. When they arrive on location, Glory Grant is surprised when “Peter” doesn’t take the opportunity to make fun of J. Jonah Jameson during this gratuitous and pandering photoshoot with a war veteran.[6] After the photo-op, Jameson returns to his office displeased with the qualify of the photos and vows to get revenge against Flash Thompson for making him look bad until Glory points out that going after a disabled war veteran is political suicide. Jameson’s attitude suddenly changes when he learns that the original Spider-Slayer has been delivered to his office, telling his staff that he is about to give his Anti-Spider-Man Squad a new upgrade without any expense to the taxpayer.[7] Meanwhile, the Chameleon has traced back the location of the NYPD’s shadow command to a nondescript warehouse in Long Island thanks to a tracking device he planted in the bathroom. Buying a burner phone from a convenience store, the Chameleon then calls his employer in Pakistan and ensure that he will get paid before he moves forward with the next phase of the mission. In order to ensure General Kasab’s compliance, the Chameleon has the general look behind a painting of Nangar Parbat hanging on his wall. When Kasab looks he’s horrified to see that the spy has nailed a mask of his face behind the painting.[8] After his call, the Chameleon goes to a storage facility where he works on making a dirty bomb before tying up loose ends on his plans for improving Peter Parker’s life.
Later that day, “Peter” pays a visit to his Aunt May’s help and when the door is answered by Peter’s cousin’s Amy, Alexa and Amanda the Chameleon wonders if Peter Parker knows any women who aren’t attractive. He’s also shocked to learn that Peter was raised by his elderly aunt. When they show Peter that they have prepared Peter’s bedroom so he can sleep there, Peter thanks them but says he has other plans for his bedroom and then tells them that he has to go to the cemetery. There, the Chameleon discovers that Mary Jane’s comments about the people in Parker’s life having to compete with dead people was really on the nose when he discovers that Peter’s parents are also dead.[9] The Chameleon is glad he came to see this for himself, as it has given him an idea on what to do next.[10] Along the way to his next destination, the Chameleon thinks about Jackie Robinson’s words about how life is made important by how people impact the lives of others and can’t agree more. Elsewhere in the city, Flash Thompson drinks in bed watching old videos of his high school glory days. At the same time, Mary Jane is napping in her dressing room with an issue of the Front Line with a frontpage story about Spider-Man in her arms.[11] Michele Gonzales, meanwhile, is thinking romantic thoughts of Peter Parker and doodling on one of her legal pads. Lastly, there is Mary Jane’s obsessed fan who is taking a flight back to Los Angeles.
Standing outside the Coffee Bean, the Chameleon has concluded that Peter Parker was a weak teen who grew up to be a man-child fleeing every responsibility that was put before him. He is completely shocked that attractive women seem to flock to Parker and worse, convinces them that he was the best thing that ever happened to them after he had spurred their love. Knowing all this makes the Chameleon glad for what he is about to do next. After placing his gun into the rear waistband of his pants he pays a visit to Harry Osborn. At that same moment, the real Peter Parker — having covered himself in a protective layer of webbing has managed to fight his way free from the Chameleon’s vat of acid. Exhausted after his frantic escape from sudden doom, Peter passes out on the floor.
Recurring Characters
Chameleon, Mary Jane Watson, Harry Osborn, Flash Thompson, Michele Gonzales, J. Jonah Jameson, Glory Grant, Amy Reilly, Alexa Reilly, Amanda Reilly, Peter Parker
Continuity Notes
1. Peter taught high school from Amazing Spider-Man (vol. 2) #31 until Amazing Spider-Man #518 when he gave up teaching to work full time for the New Avengers.
2. The living conditions between Peter and Michele are complicated. This apartment was being rented by her brother Vin, who took in Peter as a roommate in Amazing Spider-Man #561. Vin has been in police custody after confessing to being part of the spider-tracer killer conspiracy in Amazing Spider-Man #584-588. Since Amazing Spider-Man Extra #3, Michele has been in town acting as Vin’s lawyer and living in his apartment. She and Peter have had a tenuous relationship since she discovered he was living there in Amazing Spider-Man #594. Things got more complicated after Aunt May’s marriage to Jay Jameson in Amazing Spider-Man #600. As we learned in the following issue, both Peter and Michele got drunk at the wedding and ended up sleeping together.
3. Harry’s financial problems followed his father’s failed bid by his father to make Harry the American Son in Amazing Spider-Man #595-599.
4. Flash lost his legs saving the life of one of his teammates while on tour in the Middle East circa Amazing Spider-Man #574.
4. In case you’ve been living in a cave, Peter and Mary Jane had just recently broken up circa Amazing Spider-Man #545. The details of their break-up are detailed in Amazing Spider-Man #605.
5. What Spider-Man story isn’t complete without a mention of poor dead Uncle Ben who was gunned down in Amazing Fantasy #15? One that doesn’t also mention the death of poor Gwen Stacy in Amazing Spider-Man #121.
6. There are a lot of references to al-Queda, the War on Terror, the Iraq War, 9/11, and the presidencies of George W. Bush and Barack O’Bama are casually dropped through all of this small talk. These should be considered topical references.
7. This is the first Spider-Slayer that J. Jonah Jameson commissioned to be built in Amazing Spider-Man #25.
8. The Chameleon states here that Kasab is part of Pro-Taliban elements within the Pakistani military. This should be considered a topical reference as well.
9. And the Parker tragical trifecta has been achieved now that we have a mention of Peter Parker’s parents being dead as well. They were government agents killed on a mission, as we learned in Amazing Spider-Man Annual #5.
10. The Chameleon later states he looked up when Uncle Ben was murdered and says that it happened “several years ago”. Per the Sliding Timescale of Earth-616, Uncle Ben’s murdered happened almost 13 years from the time of this story.
11. The poster hanging on Mary Jane’s dressing room wall is the cover to Models, Inc. #3. The newspaper story is about a failed NYPD sting to arrest Spider-Man. That happened last issue.
