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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Amazing Spider-Man #639

Amazing Spider-Man #639

Something New

Now

Peter and Mary Jane are trying to rebuild their friendship and as part of this process, they have been talking about how their romantic life was doomed to failure. For the last while, Peter has been recalling how he botched their wedding day after getting knocked out the night before while on patrol as Spider-Man.[1]

Peter stops his recollection to ask if they really need to go over all of this again, but Mary Jane insists that it is necessary if they’re going to get over this, also Mary Jane is hearing about moments from back then that she didn’t know about until now. She then entices him to keep telling the story from his perspective, promising him that there are things that happened that she hasn’t told him about before either.

Then

Regaining consciousness, Spider-Man swings to the church where he was going to be married to Mary Jane. He arrives hours late and watches as the disappointed wedding guests all give up on Peter showing up and leave. As he hears the people talking about him, all Peter can do is bow his head in shame and wonder what he has done. He quckily pulls out his cell phone and tries to call Mary Jane but gets her voice mail. Hearing her refer to herself as the “future Mrs. Peter Parker” on the message upsets Peter so much that he crushes the phone in his bare hands.

Realizing that she probably went home, Spider-Man swings across the city thinking about how he can make her understand what happened and how he can fix things. Unfortunately, when he gets home Mary Jane is nowhere to be found. Suffering from a concussion and half out of his mind in grief, Spider-Man spends the entire day swinging all over the city looking for her. It’s night time when Peter returns to his apartment in Chelsea and collapses to the ground due to his head injury. That’s when he spots Mary Jane’s wedding veil on the floor and realizes that she was waiting for him in his own apartment the whole time.

Mary Jane is in tears and wonders how little Peter cares for her that he would embarass her by standing her up at the altar. She overheard Harry and Flash talking about how Peter was having second thought the night before, but when Peter tries to explain himself she gets even more upset and yells at him to take off his mask when speaking to her. When he does, Mary Jane gets a good look at the black eye that Peter has and decides she can’t handle Peter’s double life anymore. When he tries to explain what happend, she knows it was a Spider-Man thing after all and that somehow makes it worse than Peter having cold feet. Taking his bloody mask away, she wonders how many times it has come between them during their relationship. She knows that this was part of Peter’s life she had to expect when he proposed to her and, for a while, the idea of being Spider-Man’s wife was exciting to her.[2] However, after today, she decided she can’t be married to him if he continues being Spider-Man. When she asks him to give it up, Peter reluctantly tells her that he can’t. When he tries to explain himself again, she calls him a bastard and throws his mask back in his face. She tells him that he doesn’t get to tell her to wait and as she storms out of his apartment, tells Peter not to touch her ever again. As she slams the door behind her, Peter collapses to the ground, with Mary Jane’s veil in his hands.

Now

Looking at his Spider-Man mask, Peter admits that he figured that was it for the two of them. Mary Jane admits that at the time she thought the same thing as well. That’s when she tells the part of the story that she hadn’t shared with him prior to this moment….

Then

Mary Jane had gone out for lunch with his Aunt Anna. Anna knows her niece well enough to know that Mary Jane needed 24 hours before she can get back on her feet. Thinking how she smashed her television the night before when she happened upon a news report about Spider-Man and says it isn’t quite so simple. Anna knows her niece isn’t over what happened because she would have already went on her trip to Paris. The fact is, Mary Jane is still thinking about Peter even though she told him that she never wanted to see him again. Anna admits that what Peter did was horrible, but it doesn’t change the fact that he is still a good man. Mary Jane takes this to mean Anna feels guilty about what happened because she introduced her to Peter, but Anna tells her niece to watch her tone.[3]

Anna understands that Mary Jane is hurting and while there is no excusing what Peter did, Anna points out that everyone makes mistakes. She says that she just wants Mary Jane avoid making a potentially bigger mistake by closing the door completely on Peter. Their conversation is interrupted by a little boy who is pretending to be Spider-Man. His mother apologizes for her boy, saying that he’s always running off to play Spider-Man when she least expects it. This hits close to home for Mary Jane who tells her Aunt that this is not the first time that Peter has pulled a stunt like this. While Anna admits that she doesn’t know every intimate detail of their relationship, she points out that there is a reason why Mary Jane fell in love with Peter to begin with and tells her to think about why she wanted to marry Peter in the first place, saying that anything outside those feelings doesn’t matter.

Mary Jane decides to go back to Peter’s apartment and talks to Peter through the door to his apartment. She says she is going to say her peace and then leave. She realizes now that Spider-Man is a very important part of his life and how much good he does for the world. She also realizes that it was foolish for her to ask Peter to stop being Spider-Man because it was about the same as asking her not to stop loving him. This prompts Peter to open the door and invite Mary Jane in. She is shocked to see his apartment is a mess and Peter admits that other than going out as Spider-Man, he hasn’t left his apartment.

When Peter tries to talk, she cuts him off to tell him what she has on her mind. She tells him that she wants to have a child. When Peter asks if she wants a boy or a girl, Mary Jane thinks of the daughter she’d like to have, but dismisses the thought and tells him that it doesn’t matter because she doesn’t want to bring a child into this world with their lives the way they are. Especially considering her family background and how abusive her father was to her.[4] She says that she always viewed marriage as a means to starting a family, but now that having a child with Peter is off the table she sees marriage as nothing more than a piece of paper that is unnecessary to justify being with Peter.

When Peter tries to interject again, she holds up his Spider-Man mask and tells him that until he is ready to give up being Spider-Man, he is to never ask her to marry him and how she thinks she can deal with Peter’s double-life if he doesn’t ask for that out of her. The pair agree to these terms and admit that they still love each other. With the situation sorted out, Mary Jane then asks Peter if he wants to go with her to Paris.[5]

Now

Mary Jane finishes her part of the story and they then talk about where their relationship came to an end. Peter knows exactly what she is talking about because, outside of the death of Gwen Stacy, its one of the things that Peter doesn’t like to talk about.[6] This mistake was when Peter allowed Tony Stark to convince him to publicly unmask during the superhero Civil War.[7] That ultimately led to Aunt May getting shot by one of his enemies.[8] Peter remembers how he tried to do whatever possible to save May’s life. He clashed with Iron Man,[9] and pleaded with Doctor Strange. He even attempted to change the past, but nothing worked.[10] Eventually Peter realized that there was no saving May and he had to accept that she was going to die.[11] Recalling all of this now, Peter believes that loving him is a death sentance to all those around him.

Then[12]

Peter returned to the hospital and woke Mary Jane up. The pair decided to go outside to get some fresh air, asking the receptionist to keep an eye on May while they are gone. Outside, Peter tells Mary Jane how nobody was able to help and he begins to cry because he still blames himself for what happened to May. That’s when an alarm goes off signaling that May is flatlining. Peter and Mary Jane rushed back to May’s room where doctors were trying to revive her.

Eventually they find it futile and are about to pronounce him dead, but Peter refuses to give up. Shoving past the doctors, he begins giving May chest compression until, miraculously, her heart starts beating again.

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, Mary Jane Watson, Flash Thompson, Harry Osborn, J. Jonah Jameson, Marla Madison, Anna Watson, Iron Man, Doctor Strange, Aunt May

Continuity Notes

  1. Peter and Mary Jane were originally married in Amazing Spider-Man Annual #21. However, Mephisto later altered reality in Amazing Spider-Man #545, so they never got married. The details of how their wedding fell apart was detailed last issue. Per the Sliding Timescale, the events surrounding Peter and Mary Jane’s failed wedding happened about six years prior to this story.

  2. Peter proposed to Mary Jane in Amazing Spider-Man #290.

  3. Anna Watson and Peter’s Aunt May were trying to set up Peter with Mary Jane since Amazing Spider-Man #15. They finally met each other in Amazing Spider-Man #42.

  4. Mary Jane told Peter about her troubled upbringing in Amazing Spider-Man #259.

  5. Peter Parker, the Spectacular Spider-Man Annual #7 chronicles Peter and Mary Jane’s trip to France. In the original timeline this was their honeymoon. In the altered timeline, they went to work on their relationship.

  6. Gwen Stacy was murdered by the Green Goblin in Amazing Spider-Man #121

  7. Peter was convinced to publicly unmask in Civil War #2.

  8. Aunt May was shot by an assassin hired by the Kingpin in Amazing Spider-Man #538.

  9. The scene of Aunt May on life support and Peter fighting Iron Man is taken from Amazing Spider-Man #544.

  10. Peter approaching Doctor Strange for help and then going back in a failed attempt to prevent Aunt May from getting shot was from Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man #24.

  11. The scenes of Peter walking around and coming to terms with Aunt May’s impending death are altered panels from Sensational Spider-Man (vol. 2) #41. The art has been altered to remove the various alternate reality versions of himself and future daughter that Peter encounters, as well as his encounter with Mephisto. That’s because in the altered timeline, Mephisto never approaches Peter to make his deal.

  12. The events in this second flashback happen circa Amazing Spider-Man #545. Per the Sliding Timescale this happened about a year prior to the main story.

Spidey Sundays Part Six

Spider-Man is drawn outside his apartment when he spots a helicopter hovering outside his window. The chopper is piloted by two crooks named Bull and Brain. Brain tries blasting Spider-Man with a laser weapon, but the web-slinger spins a web-shield to deflect the blast.

Needing to get away from his home in order to protect his secret identity, Spider-Man takes off with the helicopter hot on his heels. Unfortunately, Spider-Man is spotted by Doctor Octopus who is in the crowd below. Doffing his disguise, Octavius snares Spider-Man in his mechanical arms.

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, Bull, Brain, Doctor Octopus

Continuity Notes

  • Although unclear here, the universe that Bull and Brain travel to is not the Earth-616 universe which becomes clear when you see how fast and loose writer Stan Lee is with continuity, the silly plot, and not to mention how Spider-Man is self-aware of the fact that he is a comic book character. As I write this (September 2020) the reality Bull and Brain come from and the one they visit have yet to be designated a reality number.

Amazing Spider-Man #638

Amazing Spider-Man #638

Amazing Spider-Man #640

Amazing Spider-Man #640