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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Amazing Spider-Man (vol. 3) #1.1

Amazing Spider-Man (vol. 3) #1.1

The Show Must Go On

Moments ago, Spider-Man had just caught the burglar that killed his Uncle Ben.[1] Peter was horrified to discover that the killer was someone he could have stopped earlier. This leads to thoughts about how he got his powers from an irradiated spider and tried to make it big in show business. He thinks about how he acted like a jerk and blames himself for what happened. However, he vows to his Uncle that he won’t let something like this happen again and crawls back into his bedroom window.

The following morning, Peter wakes up to Aunt May making breakfast. He tells his Aunt to take it easy after what happened the night before. She tries to dismiss this until she realizes that she set a place for Ben and begins to break down in tears. Peter then answer the phone and decides to handle the details of Uncle Ben’s estate, not wanting to upset his Aunt further with the details. Peter quickly discovers that May is in a bad situation financially following Ben’s death and uses every last dollar he earned performing to make sure the funeral arrangements and bills get paid.

Still, Peter figures there is more money where that comes from, and a few days later he pays a visit to his agent, Maxie Shiffman. Shiffman can get Spider-Man another gig, but expresses concerns about paying him under the table and starts asking for a W-2 and a bank account. Peter tells him that he can’t give that information out, threatening to seek other representation. Shiffman changes his tune and figures he can use the press about Spider-Man’s capturing of a crook to boost the next show. This angers Peter, who tells Shiffman that he’s not a hero and refuses to profit off the death of his Uncle Ben. He then leaves, telling Shiffman to line up some more gigs as soon as possible. However, as he leaves, Peter doesn’t think showbiz is quite so glamourous anymore, likening his gigs as dancing around like a trained bear.

The next day, at school, Peter is pulled aside by Principal Davis who is concerned because Peter has been skipping out on classes recently. This is because he has been busy with Uncle Ben’s funeral arrangements and practicing for his gigs as Spider-Man. When Peter can’t give a straight answer, Davis assumes that he is still dealing with the death of his uncle and encourages him to honor his uncle by focusing on his studies, telling Peter that he sees great things in him. Peter, on the other hand, sees this as added pressure.

In the hall, Peter is approached by Liz Allan, who wants to invite Peter over to her house on the weekend to watch the upcoming Spider-Man TV special. When Peter tries to make an excuse that he has an eye appointment, on a Saturday night, Liz gets upset over his lame excuse and storms off. This is seen by Flash Thompson who begins hassling Peter for upsetting his girlfriend. When Flash starts picking a fight, Peter decides he’s finally going to teach Thompson a lesson. However, before they can go outside to brawl, Mr. Flannigan — the school counselor — overhears them and breaks it up, ordering both of them to see him after school. Peter bitterly thinks that after a few more gigs he’ll be able to financially support his Aunt May and quit school in favor for tutors or private school. Although he doesn’t know what that would be like.

Someone who would is Clayton Cole, a science prodigy who is home schooled by his parents. As his parents are lauding Clayton for his scholastic achievements, he is busy fantasizing about seeing Spider-Man in action again. Going to his room, Clayton calls a kid he knew from computer camp who knows someone who can hook him up with tickets to the sold out Spider-Man show. Clayton later meets with the ticket scalper, and tells the man how he has been following Spider-Man since his fight with Crusher Hogan. The scalper is only interested in selling more tickets, but Clayton is going to the show alone, because he doesn’t have any friends.

Soon the show is to the delight of a studio audience and those watching from home on television. While Flash Thompson considers Spider-Man the best, newspaper publisher J. Jonah Jameson dismisses the show as garbage. The performance also gets the attention of the master spy known as the Chameleon.[2] However, the person who enjoys the show the most is Clayton Cole, who watches from the crowd.

When Spider-Man finishes demonstrating his abilities, he is then interviewed by the host of the show. When the host makes a joke about Spider-Man shooting webs out of his butt, the web-slinger gives a demonstration on how his web-shooters work. This comes as a surprise to Clayton, who knew Spider-Man was around his age but didn’t realize that he was also a tech-kid. This inspires Clayton to go home and begin working on his own wrist mounted device that uses sound. As he works through the night, Clayton thinks that when Spider-Man isn’t in his costume he’s just a normal kid like him.

The next day, Peter Parker is getting ready for Uncle Ben’s funeral. He makes a prayer to his uncle, telling him that he was able to earn the money to pay for the expenses and swears that he will look after his Aunt May now that Ben is gone. Downstairs, May is taking a call from Principal Davis who expresses his concern over Peter missing classes and suggests that Peter start seeing the school counselor. May thanks Principal Davis for his advice, saying that she hasn’t been able to connect with Peter the way her late husband was able to. That’s when Peter tells her that the cab has arrived. Soon they are at the church and as the priest gives a eulogy, Peter once again blames himself for what happened. When they are at the cemetery for the burial service, Peter sees his Aunt smiling and asks her why. May points out all the friends and loved ones that have come to pay their respects and is touched by how well loved Ben was to the world. Peter can’t help but smile himself.

At the wake, Peter is surprised to hear about all the people Uncle Ben financially helped over the years and is annoyed that the only way they are paying back this kindness was coming over with casseroles. In the kitchen, Peter grimly makes a joke about how they could stack the casseroles so they can live inside them. May tells Peter that he can’t expect the universe to pay you back when you do what is right, and points out that not everyone is conspicuous, reminding him that Ben’s funeral was paid for by an anonymous doner. Peter is about to tell her he paid for it himself, but realizes he can’t say anything.

Meanwhile, Maxie Shiffman is overseeing the set up of Spider-Man’s next television appearance. One of the special effects men, a guy named Quentin Beck, asks Maxie if he wants real buzz saws or fake ones in the launcher he is building. Shiffman insists on the real thing, and ignores Quentin’s concerns that it could be dangerous without the proper rehersal.

The next day, May walks Peter to school to make sure he shows up. Peter is annoyed to see that Principal Davis and Mr. Flannigan are waiting for him outside. Peter can’t believe that he has to stay after school to talk to Flannigan when he needs to be at the television studio to practice for his next Spider-Man show. Peter is more annoyed to learn that Aunt May has cleared it for Flannigan to see Peter every Thursday after class. Flannigan wants to talk about how Peter almost got into a fight with Flash Thompson the day before. Peter is difficult with Flannigan and doesn’t give any straight answers and grows increasingly impatient until it is time to go. Flannigan figures Peter’s problems have to do with the death of his Uncle Ben. Flannigan tries to remind Peter that he is only fifteen years old and couldn’t have done anything to prevent his uncle’s death. Peter completely shuts him down, because Flannigan has no idea what he is talking about.

Peter is annoyed that he was made late and couldn’t rehearse. When it’s showtime, Spider-Man is shocked to discovered that the demonstration involves real buzz-saws. He is trying to get Shiffman to shut things down when the entire rig begins to fall apart and is about to fall on the crowd. Quick thinking, Spider-Man webs up all the falling debris. This gets huge cheers from the crowd, who think that this was all part of the show. Later, the producer chastises Shiffman for putting people at risk, but the agent points out that everything went fine. Spider-Man, on the other hand, cares even less and wants to know when he is getting paid. However, the producer refuses to pay them due to their negligence and kicks them out of the studio. Maxie assures Spider-Man that they’ll just go to another network.

However, forces are converging that will mean the end of Spider-Man’s career in show business. At the Daily Bugle, J. Jonah Jameson is writing the first of many editorials that will single out Spider-Man as nothing more than a menace who will influence impressionable youngsters to emulate him. Jameson’s fears appear to be valid as, at that moment, Clayton Cole has finished working on his own superhero costume. Putting it on, Clayton figures people won’t be able to ignore him when he comes on the scene as the newest sensation called the Clash.

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, Clash, Aunt May, Maxie Shiffman, Andrew Davis, Liz Allan, Flash Thompson, J. Jonah Jameson, Quentin Beck

Continuity Notes

  1. You remember Uncle Ben getting shot in Amazing Fantasy #15, right? I’m not busting out the Tobey Maguire gif anymore.

  2. This leads to the Chameleon disguising himself as Spider-Man to steal government secrets in order to frame the wall-crawler, as we saw waaaaaaay back in Amazing Spider-Man #1.

Amazing Spider-Man (vol. 3) #1

Amazing Spider-Man (vol. 3) #1

Amazing Spider-Man (vol. 2) #1.2

Amazing Spider-Man (vol. 2) #1.2