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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Avengers #99

Avengers #99

— They First Make Mad!

Following their battle with Ares, the Avengers return to their headquarters to try and cure Hercules of his amnesia. However, the device they try to use to bring restore his memory only causes him extreme pain. The only clue they have about what’s going on is a cryptic poem that suggests that both Earth and Asgard are in danger. This leads to more questions as to how Hawkeye got back to Earth following their battle with the Skrulls and found Hercules in this state.[1]

Weeks Ago

Goliath had been sent to intercept a Skrull craft carrying a nuclear explosive to Earth. Even though he was no longer using Hank Pym’s growth formula, he hopes he can bluff the Skrulls into thinking he has super-human powers. Unfortunately, the bluff fails and he found himself running for his life from the aliens. Almost instinctively, Clint began pulling pipes and wires to fashion himself a make-shift bow and arrow. Barton’s luck played out when he fires one of his “arrows” into a vital piece of the ship’s systems causing a chain reaction. As the Skrulls try to mitigate the damage allowing Clint to get out in an escape ship moments before the ship exploded.

Clint’s ship crash-landed in the wilderness of Southeastern Europe. There he was found by the members of a circus. His good fortune continues as they are in need of an archer since their last one quit. Traveling across the country, Clint’s wagon slid off a muddy mountain pass. He is amazed when the circus strong man, whom they named Hercules, is able to lift his wagon and horseback onto the robe. Getting a better look at the strong man and yanking off his wig, Clint was shocked to discover that it is the real Hercules. Asking where they found their strongman, the circus owner explains they came across him in Greece at one of the ancient ruins. He had no memory of who he was and seeing him lift a marble column over his head, they convinced the strong man to join their circus.

Suspecting that something is seriously wrong, Clint went to the first payphone he could find when they finally reached civilization.[2] He tried calling Tony Stark but reached his assistant, Kevin O’Brien who arranged airfare for Clint and Hercules to return to America. This turned out to be the last thing Kevin did before his death.[3]

Now

This ends Clint’s story, but it does little to explain how Hercules lost his memory. Exhausted after his ordeals, Clint decides to go to bed for the night, but not before noticing how attractive the Scarlet Witch looks. Meanwhile, the Vision checks in with the Black Panther in Wakanda and Ant-Man from his lab. However, neither scientist has a solution to restore the memory of Hercules. The Vision then leaves the monitor room where he comes upon Hawkeye hitting on Wanda. Hearing Clint talk about marrying the Scarlet Witch upsets the Vision who storms out of the room without showing any emotion. Seeing this, Wanda shocks Clint by being more concerned about the Vision’s feelings than his advances. Seeing that he is as oblivious as ever, Wanda storms out. In another room, she finds her brother, who demands to know if she is in love with the Vision. When directly confronted with the question, she admits that it is true.[4]

Meanwhile, in the ready room, Captain America, Thor, and Iron Man watch over Hercules when, suddenly, two Olympian warriors appear in the room in a puff of smoke. They are Kratos and Bia and they have come for Hercules. The sound of battle also draws in Quicksilver, the Scarlet Witch, and Hawkeye. Even though they outnumber the two Olympians, even Thor has trouble against their foes.

Upstairs, the Vision is spending time with Jarvis, the Avengers butler, up in the kitchen. The Vision admits that he is having a philosophical debate about his own humanity. Jarvis points out that the Vision’s ability to philosophize about his humanity makes him more human than most.[5] Just as Jarvis is about to get the android to open up about his feelings for Wanda, their conversation is interrupted by the sound of battle. The Vision phases up upstairs to where the battle is taking place. When the Scarlet Witch is knocked out, the Vision leaves the battle to rush by his side. Without the added might of the android, the other Avengers are unable to stop Kratos and Bai from grabbing Hercules and teleporting away. Hawkeye and the others can’t understand why the Vision disobeyed orders, and all agree that he may face strict punishment after this latest crisis is dealt with.

Recurring Characters

Avengers (Captain America, Thor, Iron Man, Ant-Man, Goliath/Hawkeye, Quicksilver, Scarlet Witch, Hercules, Black Panther, the Vision), Rick Jones, Kratos, Bia, (flashback) Skrulls, Guardsman

Continuity Notes

  1. This was during the Kree/Skrull war that took place in Avengers #89-96. Mention is made how Clint abandoned his Goliath identity which he used since Avengers #63.

  2. It’s at this moment that Clint was plucked out of time to participate in the Destiny War. He would be put back the instant he was taken with no memory of what happened. See Avengers Forever #1-12.

  3. Kevin O’Brien, aka the Guardsman died in Iron Man #46.

  4. Pietro refers to himself and his sister as mutants. However, they actually aren’t. As explained in Uncanny Avengers (vol. 2) #4-5, they were experimented upon by the High Evolutionary as infants. In order to cover up his work, he made it so genetic tests would have them read as mutants.

  5. It is mentioned here that the Vision’s mind is based on that of a dead man. As per Avengers #58 when Ultron created the Vision he used the brain patterns of Simon Williams, aka Wonder Man, to create his reality. Williams seemingly died in Avengers #9. However, he survived and will turn up alive again in Avengers #151.

Topical References

  • Dated pop-culture references: Speedy Gonzales.

  • This story states that Clint crash-landed in Yugoslavia. However, this region has undergone a number of changes over the years. In 2003 Yugoslavia split into five different states in 2003 and again into seven states in 2006. Per Avengers Forever #12, Clint Barton landed somewhere near Belgrade. As such, modern readers should interpret Clint as crash landing in Serbia instead of Yugoslavia.

Avengers #98

Avengers #98

Avengers #100

Avengers #100