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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Avengers #500

Avengers #500

Chaos Part 1

It’s morning at Avengers Mansion, and Hawkeye is grossing out everyone at the table — the Wasp, Captain Britain, She-Hulk, and Ant-Man — by revealing who is the top of his “can’t have” list of super-villains. Everyone is disturbed to learn that it is Viper, aka the former Madame Hydra. This conversation is interrupted when suddenly, the mansion’s alarm begins going off when something smashes through the front gate. Activating a holo-display they see that the person responsible is their former teammate, Jack of Hearts, a man who is supposed to be dead.[1]

As Ant-Man heads out to check on their old ally, Janet warns him to be careful because Jack’s body is emaciated and he looks very sickly. When Scott addresses Jack he stops dead in his tracks. Jack’s only response is that he’s sorry before he suddenly goes off in a massive explosion that rocks the entire mansion and ruins the entire back year. Climbing out of the rubble, the other Avengers begin looking for survivors. When they come across a skeletal hand sticking out of the ground they realize that Ant-Man is dead.[2]

Meanwhile, Iron Man is addressing the United Nations to deliver a speech, along side Yellowjacket and the Scarlet Witch.[3] However, in the middle of his opening statements Stark begins to break a sweat and pauses for a moment. Suddenly, Tony singles out the ambassador of Latveria and begins cussing him out. He then begins suggesting that other nations help him wipe the European country off the map. Yellowjacket is horrified by what Stark is saying and tries to get him off the podium. Also suggesting Tony stand down is T’Challa, aka the Black Panther and ruler of Wakanda, who is down in the gallery with the other delegates. Stark then points his repulsor at T’Challa and tells him to shut up. Eventually, Tony does get a hold of himself and storms off the stage with his fellow Avengers in tow. When in a private room, Stark admits to Wanda that he feels like he is drunk, which doesn’t make any sense because he hasn’t touched any alcohol.[4] That’s when they receive a code white — the highest possible alert — coming from Avengers Mansion.

By this time, a SHIELD team and emergency crews have arrived on the scene. As fire crews try to put out the fire in the back yard, the Wasp is told that the Avengers should stay put until Nick Fury arrives. Jarvis is taken off the property in a stretcher, but once outside he gets up under his own power, refusing to leave his charges. When the SHIELD agents start giving the butler grief, Captain America arrives and tells them to talk to Jarvis with the same respect they have when speaking to him.

That’s when everyone notices a Quinjet dive bombing out of the sky. As it draws near, Captain America sees that it is being piloted by the Vision. The jet then crashes into the front of the mansion and explodes into a fireball. The Vision survives the crash and emerges from the flames with a warning: Someone is intentionally attacking the team and will not stop until they are all dead. Suddenly, the Vision’s mouth opens impossibly wide so he can spit out a number of metal spheres. These spheres then transform into duplicates of Ultron and begin attacking the team.

Captain America, the Wasp, Hawkeye, Falcon, and She-Hulk charge into battle to fight these automations. As they fight, Jen begins to lose control of her temper and suddenly transforms into a savage She-Hulk form. After the robots have been smashed to pieces, an enraged She-Hulk grabs the Vision and starts demanding answers. When the android fails to give any, she suddenly rips the Vision in half before everyone’s astonished eyes.[5] The Wasp tries to get Jennifer to calm down but she is swatted away. When She-Hulk then starts attacking Captain America, he orders the SHIELD agents to call in a Hulkbuster team to help contain her. After blocking Jennifer’s blows with his shield, everything goes black when she tosses a truck on him instead.

Elsewhere, two children are whispering in the darkness. One of them asks if it is over. The other tells his brother there will be more and there is still much that needs to be answered for.[6]

Recurring Characters

Avengers (Captain America, Iron Man, Yellowjacket, Wasp, Hawkeye, Scarlet Witch, Vision, Falcon, She-Hulk, Jack of Hearts, Ant-Man, Captain Britain), Black Panther, SHIELD, Edwin Jarvis

Continuity Notes

  1. Jack of Hearts died when his powers hit critical mass in Avengers (vol. 3) #76. His appearance here is due to the Scarlet Witch altering reality as we’ll learn in issue #503. As of this writing (February, 2023), sources are unclear if this is the real Jack of Hearts or a construct created by Wanda. I’m inclined to believe it’s the real Jack of Hearts, given the character is resurrected again in Marvel Zombies Supreme #2 by drawing his energies to Project PEGASUS.

  2. However, Ant-Man doesn’t really die. In Avengers: The Children’s Crusade #5. In that story, Scott’s daughter (now the heroine known as Stature) goes back in time with the Young Avengers to rescue her father. This creates a divergent reality where Ant-Man died, and one where people think he died. Unofficial Appendix to the Marvel Universe has designated the Reality-61108 as the one where Lang dies. However, time of this writing (February, 2023), this has yet to be referenced in an official publication and could be subject to change at a later date. Technically speaking, the skeletal hand that is found shouldn’t exist if Scott Lang didn’t actually die. I pose a theory for how this might be in my index entry for next issue.

  3. Here, Stark refers to himself as the Secretary of State this happened in Iron Man (vol. 3) #79. While you’re here, it should also be mentioned that the Avengers have also been recently designated a sovereign nation in and of themselves back in Avengers (vol. 3) #61.

  4. Tony Stark has had a history of alcohol abuse that was first addressed back in Iron Man #128. Tony has been more or less sober since his last big bender which lasted from Iron Man #167-182. He has gotten drunk in Iron Man #308 and (vol. 2) #1 since then, but these were instances where his body was taken over, or he wasn’t aware of his past history of alcohol abuse. In issue #503 we learn that Tony’s intoxication was artificially induced by the Scarlet Witch’s hex powers.

  5. The Vision will be resurrected in a way when his mind is downloaded into Iron Lad’s armor. Becoming sentient and taking on a form similar to the Vision as seen in Young Avengers #5. This copy of the Vision’s mind was destroyed later on in Avengers: The Children’s Crusade #9. The true Vision will eventually be repaired in Avengers (vol. 4) #19. As per issue #503, the Vision’s betrayal, the Ultron duplicates, and She-Hulk’s transformation into a savage are all more examples of Wanda’s powers being used against the Avengers.

  6. Per issue #503, these are constructs of Wanda’s late children. Why they are here is a complicated issue. The details:

    • Years earlier, Wanda used her magics to make herself pregnant in Vision and the Scarlet Witch (vol. 2 ) #3. She gave birth to twin boys, Billy and Tommy, in issue #12 of that series.

    • Not long after that, Agatha Harkness showed up and claimed that the children were only figments of Wanda’s imagination and that she was subconsciously using her powers to will them into existence. They were then consumed by Master Pandemonium who determined that the boys were fragments of Mephisto’s soul, as seen in Avengers West Coast #51-52.

    • After the destruction of the twins, Agatha cast a spell to make Wanda forget. Even though she’ll later remember and mention her children and mention them a number of times afterwards, notably in Avengers West Coast #75, 89, Annual #7 and Scarlet Witch #1-4. I will posit a theory of how that could be in my entry for issue #503.

Supplement Material

A “Director’s Cut” of this issue was released a month after initial publication. It featured an interview with writer Brian Michael Bendis as well as a side-by-side comparison between Bendis’ script and David Finch’s pencils. Lastly there is a cover gallery of all 499 issues of the Avengers leading up to this point. Unlike, say, the director’s cut of the movie, there isn’t any new material added to the story as it was originally published.

Avengers Disassembled Reading Order

Iron Man (vol. 3) #84-85, Thor (vol. 2) #80-81, Captain America and the Falcon #5, 6, 7, Captain America (vol. 3) #29, Avengers #500, 501, 502, 503, Iron Man (vol. 3) #86, 87, 88, 89, Captain America (vol. 3) #30, 31, 32, Fantastic Four #517, 518, 519, Spectacular Spider-Man (vol. 2) #15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, Thor (vol. 2) #82, 83, 84, 85, Avengers Finale #1, New Thunderbolts #1

Avengers (vol. 3) #84

Avengers (vol. 3) #84

Avengers #501

Avengers #501