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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Avengers (vol. 3) #44

Avengers (vol. 3) #44

Down Among the Dead Men!

After Kang the Conqueror announced his intentions to conquer the Earth, various enemy forces have arisen to fight by his side for a chance to rule alongside him. One such attack happened on the shores of Atlantic Canada by Attuma and his barbarian horde.[1] The Avengers repelled this invasion. Now, reserve member Stingray searches the ocean floor for Attuma’s supply lines. He finds the processing center that provides oxygenated water for the helmets worn by Attuma’s forces on the surface and destroys it. This cuts off reinforcements, allowing Hercules, the Scarlet Witch, and Jack of Hearts to finish up the remaining invasion force.

Elsewhere, another team consisting of the Vision, Black Widow, Warbird, She-Hulk, and Silverclaw have just chased an army of invading Deviants back beneath Wuwei, China. There, they fell into a trap led by the Deviant leader, Dulpus. Surrounded by the enemy, Warbird exploits her knowledge of Deviant law and challenges Dulpus in one-on-one combat. While Dulpus scoffs at the idea of fighting a woman, Carol plays on his refusing to do so as a sign of weakness to the others. Dulpus relents and agrees to rite by combat, however instead of fighting himself he chooses a champion to fight for him. In this case, he chooses Glomm, a Deviant whose body is made entirely of purple muck.

While in Siberia’s radioactive Forbidden Zone, Thor and Firebird are the only two Avengers left standing after the Presence transformed the rest of the team — Captain America, Quicksilver, and the Black Knight — into radioactive beings. They join his growing ranks of atomic entities which also includes a team of scientists and Russia’s Winter Guard. Thor tries to reason with Captain America, but he is fully under the Presence’s control and seeks only to spread the infection and add others to the collection. Seeing that the thunder god isn’t getting through to their friends, Firebird tells him to give up because they are already dead. This deeply upsets Thor, who — while knowing mortal lives are fleeting — did not expect Captain America to die in such a foul way. Summoning all the power of the storm, Thor vows to avenge his fallen comrades to his dying breath.

Meanwhile, in Earth orbit, aboard the sword-shaped Damocles, Kang the Conqueror continues to monitor the situation on Earth with glee. That’s when his son, the Scarlet Centurion, enters the room an informs him that the first group of enlistments have arrived from Earth. Most are all ordinary humans with some kind of military training. As he gets to know one of them, they are interrupted by the super-villain Whirlwind. Whirlwind boldly tells Kang that his wind powers are greater than an entire army. However, Kang is uninterested in enlisting super-villains and banishes Whirlwind back to Earth to warn others that Kang will accept anything short of obedience, ability, and discipline.

Back on Earth, Warbird tries hitting Glomm with an energy blast. This punches a hole through the Deviant, but does no damage. Bragging about only have a single organ in his entire body, Glomm then rushes at Warbird before she can make the next move. Wrapping himself completely around Warbird, she finds herself trapped inside Glomm’s body. Within the muck, she can spot his one organ and swims toward it. Giving it a blast of energy causes Glomm to let go of her and collapse to the ground in agony. With his champion defeated, Warbird order Dulpus to surrender or dishonor himself in front of his warriors.

In Siberia, Thor’s lightning stuns the transformed humans allowing he and Firebird to finally reach the Presence and his lover Starlight. Thor ignores the Presence’s promise of a better world and uses the power of Mjolnir to absorb the radioactive menace’s energies, threatening to kill him. Starlight, who fears being alone, pleads with Thor to spare her lover. She reveals that she has the power to restore all their converts to normal. She promises to cure everyone and get the Presence to surrender if the thunder god promises to spare his life. Thor relents and, true to her word, Starlight uses her power to restore Captain America and the others to normal. When Russian scientists arrive on the scene to remove everyone.

Firebird confides in Thor. She is glad that everything worked out in the end. However, she wonders if her inability to be converted by the Presence is a sign from her god that she is immortal. If so, she wonders if she will be denied the final reward of others when they die. Thor tells her that in his long life he has seen many a brave mortal die. Over time he learned to maintain an emotional distance with the mortals he befriended over the years. After nearly losing Captain America and the others, he wonders if it might not be time to do so again.

Soon, the teams of Avengers begin reporting in to central command at Avengers Mansion. The Wasp is pleased to hear the Deviants have been dealt with and says she will get in touch with the Black Panther — whose nation of Wakanda has diplomatic ties with Lemuria — on how to deal with them.[2] The Scarlet Witch calls in next to inform Janet that Attuma has been deal with as well. She also inquires about how Yellowjacket is doing after he collapsed in battle. Jan tells Wanda that the situation is complicated but he’s doing better, promising to fill her in when they get back to the mansion.[3]

That’s when Duane Freeman, the Avengers government liaison, and Val Cooper, the head of the Commission on Superhuman Affairs, call in to check on the status on Kang’s invasion. The Wasp confirms that with the various global crisis’s taken care of, the entire Avengers roster can now focus on Kang. Duane is pleased to hear that and promises to be in touch. After ending the call, Freeman hopes the Avengers have what it takes to stop Kang, because he doesn’t much like the back-up plan. The pair then enter the next room where an army of Sentinel robots are being rapidly constructed.

Recurring Characters

Avengers (Black Knight, Black Widow, Captain America, Firebird, Goliath, Hercules, Jack of Hearts, Quicksilver, Scarlet Witch, She-Hulk, Silverclaw, Stingray, Thor, Triathlon, Vision, Warbird, Wasp, Wonder Man), Kang, Scarlet Centurion, the Presence, Starlight, Whirlwind, Dulpus, Glomm, Whirlwind, Bulldozer, Duane Freeman, Val Cooper, Steel Guardian, Sentinels

Continuity Notes

  1. Kang made his ultimatum in Avengers (vol. 3) #42, leading to Attuma’s attack on Prince Edward Island, which was repelled last issue.

  2. The Black Panther established diplomatic ties with the Deviants following the events of Black Panther (vol. 3) #26-29.

  3. Recently, in Avengers (vol. 3) #28, Hank Pym was split into two separate entities by a magic spell. However, remaining apart led to both starting to fade from existence as seen last issue. Janet then brought the two Hanks to the Triune Understanding whose leader, Jonathan Tremont, was able to reunite the pair and restore Pym to full health. See Avengers Annual 2001.

Avengers Annual 2001

Avengers Annual 2001

Avengers (vol. 3) #45

Avengers (vol. 3) #45