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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Avengers (vol. 3) #71

Avengers (vol. 3) #71

Whirlwinds

Hank Pym and Janet Van Dyne have taken a romantic getaway to Las Vegas. It’s all fun and raunchy sex until Hank starks thinking about how he can’t remember the last time he went on a vacation.[1] He and Janet didn’t even go on a honeymoon. That’s when Hank realizes that the day’s date would have been their wedding anniversary.[2] This spoils the mood for the couple.

Elsewhere in Las Vegas, David Cannon — aka Whirlwind — has paid for an escort and has her dress up as the Wasp.[3] However, as he smacks her around, Cannon decides that nothing but the real Janet Van Dyne will do. So he decides to stop stalking her and go after the Wasp directly.[4] Using his wind powers, David blows the sex worker out the window of his hotel room, sending her falling to her death.

Later, Hank and Janet are out for a walk on the Vegas Strip after seeing the sights. The two are having such a wonderful time that Hank takes this as the opportunity to propose to Janet again. Janet disappoints when she says that she can’t marry Hank again. This upsets Pym, who admits that he was a terrible husband. Janet agrees and this leads to the usual “Hank Pym is a failure” monologue that long time readers should be familiar with by now.[5]

Little do the couple know that they are being observed by Whirlwind, who is up on the roof of one of the many Vegas hotels. He has called his buddy Plantman to thank him for the girl, but has to go because he has a lead on his target.

Back on the ground, Hank asks Janet what she did with her first wedding ring. She admits that she sold it out of anger after they got divorced. Pym figures that her father would have been ashamed of him and she has every reason to reject his proposal.[6] Janet agrees, but says that this doesn’t mean she doesn’t love him either.

That’s when the pair are ambushed by Whirlwind, who figures he’ll have an easy time with the couple without the other Avengers around. As Cannon deals with Hank, Janet shrinks down to to Wasp size so she is better suited for combat. Unfortunately, the Wasp is no match for Whirlwind who sends them crashing into one of the Vegas attractions. With Janet knocked out, Whirlwind decides to take advantage of her. That’s when Hank — who grows to giant size — comes charging in, dick swinging the entire time, and threatens to crus Whirlwind like a bug.

This distraction allows Jan to recover and get the drop on Cannon while his back is turned. She tells both men that she wasn’t put on this world to be anyone’s possession. Turning at the sound of her voice, Whirlwind is knocked out with a single sucker punch.

Soon, Whirlwind is taken into custody and emergency crews arrive for the clean-up. In the aftermath of the battle, Janet asks if Hank is ok with the state of their relationship. Hank finds that he is and tells Janet that she is an amazing person and he is honored to know and love her. That’s when Janet suggests that perhaps her father wouldn’t have been disappointed in him after all. Vernon Van Dyne had a saying that there is one force most scientists disregard, but Hank continues to embrace it, she can see it in his eyes. This is, of course, love. The two then kiss. The end.

Recurring Characters

Yellowjacket, Wasp, Whirlwind

Continuity Notes

I could make a shrinkage joke right now, but I don’t joke about low hanging fruit.

  1. The original print of this story contained the “infamous” oral sex scene. This page has been excluded every time this story has been reprinted. The official explanation is that it never should have been included to begin with. Sure guys, whatever. Anyway, here’s a copy of it for you that you can print out and tape to your tablet, you twisted freak.

  2. Once upon a time, back in Avengers #60, Hank and Janet were married. That all ended when Hank hit her in issue #213. She divorced him shortly there after. Since then, the two have been in an on-again-off-again relationship.

  3. The escort hired by Whirlwind is wearing one of the Wasp’s many, many, many past costumes. It’s the one she first started wearing in Avengers #161 until Marvel Team-Up #59.

  4. Whirlwind got his start as the Human Top and fought Giant-Man and the Wasp many times early on in their career starting in Tales to Astonish #50. Over time, he reinvented himself as Whirlwind and grew to become obsessed with the Wasp, even getting a job as her chauffeur for a time, starting in Avengers #46. He was exposed in Avengers #139.

  5. While going on-and-on about how much of a loser he is, Hank mentions how he helped found the Avengers (Avengers #1), and his many identities including Ant-Man (Tales to Astonish #35), Giant-Man (Tales to Astonish #49), Goliath (Avengers #28), and Yellowjacket (Avengers #59).

  6. Janet’s father was scientist Vernon Van Dyne, he was the one who first introduced his daughter to Hank. Shortly thereafter, Vernon was killed when he transported the Creature of Kosmos to Earth. This led to Hank turning Janet into the Wasp so she could help him avenge her father. See Tales of Suspense #44.

Topical References

  • This story features a number of iconic casinos in the Los Angeles area including the MGM Grand, the Stratosphere, the Excalibur, the New York-New York, the Paris, the Flamingo, and the Luxor. We also see the Vegas Vic neon sign. While all of these casinos are still open (time of this writing in February, 2023) these are all commercial enterprises and thus should be considered topical. This is because once major casinos in Las Vegas have been closed, torn down, and/or replaced with newer attractions over time. Same deal as brand name products, sports teams, and the like.

  • Janet and Hank talk about going to see the Star Trek: The Experience, an interactive museum that celebrates the classic science fiction series. This is a topical reference for two reasons: One, Stark Trek is a real world TV show and thus topical. The other is that the Stark Trek: The Experience was closed in 2008 when a new licensing deal could not be brokered.

  • Hank had aspirations to have his face on the cover of Scientific American. This should be considered a topical reference as this is a real world publication.

Avengers (vol. 3) #70

Avengers (vol. 3) #70

Avengers (vol. 3) #72

Avengers (vol. 3) #72