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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Captain America #328

Captain America #328

The Hard Way

Discovering that the Super-Patriot has superhuman strength, Captain America decides to investigate how his opponent gained these powers. Learning how the wrestlers of the Unlimited Class Wrestling Federation all have augmented strength, he decides to look into how they got their powers. When he arrives at the gym where the wrestlers work out, they all think he is a new comer trying to steal Captain America’s identity and attack him. However, one of the wrestlers named Demolition Man — aka Dennis Dunphy — pulls his colleagues off Cap and decides to quiz him to see if he’s the real deal or an impostor.[1] When Cap is able to answer D-Man’s questions, Dunphy agrees to talk to him.[2]

As the two oddly take a shower together, Steve learns about Dunphy’s past. Dennis explains that he wasn’t always this strong. In college he was your average jock with dreams of playing professional football. Unfortunately, despite how hard her played on the field, he didn’t have what it took to impress the talent scouts. Devoting his time to working out he was approached by someone working for the Power Broker who was offering people the chance to have their strength augmented to super-human levels. Even though it had a 50/50 chance of success and could leave him hideously deformed, Dennis signed up. Only having to pay if the augmentation process was a success, Dunphy was given drugs that were said to prevent any side effects and it was recommended that he joined the UCWF to earn the money needed to pay for the treatment. Initially, Dennis turned the offer down in the hopes of getting into professional football.

However, he quickly discovered that he was so strong he could rupture a football just by kicking it, making him too dangerous to be on the field. With no other prospects for his new abilities, Dennis joined the wrestling league. It was during that time that Dennis — as Demolition Man — be friended the Thing when he also joined the league. Eventually, Ben Grimm uncovered that the Power Broker was hooking the wrestlers on powerful drugs to indenture themselves to him. After this drug operation was exposed, Dennis went cold turkey and suffered two weeks worth of withdrawal symptoms from the drugs but has been clean ever since.

After hearing Dennis’ story, Captain America explains how he trying to find out if the Power Broker was responsible for giving the Super-Patriot his enhanced strength. Dennis wants to help because he wants to get back at the Broker for turning him and his friends into drug addicts and agrees to meet later to continue the search.

Meanwhile, in Washington, DC, representatives of the IRS have flagged Steve Rogers’ tax return for irregularities due to a massive payment he received from the military in the past year. This has led them to uncover that Rogers is actually Captain America. They take this to the State Department who are not happy that Captain America had received this lump sum payment for military service between 1945 and present without actually serving his country. When the State Department officials decide to look into this further, leading the IRS auditors to worry that they inadvertedly made Captain America’s life more difficult.

Back on the west coast, Captain American and Demolition Man go to the last known location of the Power Broker’s operation. Dennis has shaved his mohawk and fashioned a new costume inspired by Daredevil’s original costume and Wolverine’s mask just for this occasion.[3] Unfortunately, they find no evidence that tells them where the Power Broker moved on. Stopping for breakfast, Cap tells Dennis about why he’s looking into the source of Super-Patriot’s power and the two soon begin trying to turn up leads all over Los Angeles.[4] Eventually, Dunphy gets approached by one of the Power Broker’s proposition men while hanging around at a local gym. The business card takes Steve Rogers to a non-descript bakery. After giving the clerk the password, he is sent down a hallway where his body is scanner for weapons and his bio-readings.

This leads to a room where he is questioned by the Power Broker himself, whose true identity is hidden behind powerful lights. Steve begins trying to con his way into learning if the Broker gave the Super-Patriot and his Buckies their super-human strength. Unfortunately, Steve is being monitored by a lie detector that makes the Power Broker suspicious enough to realize that this is some kind of set-up. Steve also believes he is getting nowhere, but when he tries tackling the Power Broker, he discovers that the man at the desk was actually a dummy. The Power Broker then sets two of his augmented men — Mangler and Bludgeon — to subdue the intruder. As Steve tries to make his escape he is shot in the back by tranquilizer darts by a soldier who hands Rogers over to Doctor Malus, one of the Power Broker’s lead scientists.

Meanwhile, Demolition Man becomes worried about Steve and decides to barge into the secret facility to save him. While D-Man struggles with Mangler and Bludgeon, Malus discovers that his prisoner is Captain America after performing a biopsy and discovering traces of the original super-soldier serum. Curious to see what would happen if the Power Broker’s augmentation process is used on Captain America. Luckily, Dunphy arrives and saves Cap before the process can finish and the effects are only temporary. For a moment, Cap briefly considers completing the process as super-human strength could give him the edge he needs to defeat Super-Patriot in battle. However, he ultimately decides against it as the benefits outweigh his ability to be an effective fighter with his long honed fighting skills. With that out of the way, the pair prepare to question Malus in order to learn where the Power Broker is hiding out.[5]

While in Washington, DC, the Commission decides that it is time they bring in Captain America for questioning.

Recurring Characters

Captain America, Demolition Man, Curtiss Jackson, Karl Malus, Mangler, Bludgeon, Jersey Devil, Michael Lynch

Continuity Notes

  1. Specifically D-Man asks Captain America when he first fought alongside the Thing. This was when the Fantastic Four and the Avengers teamed up to stop the Hulk’s rampage through New York City way back in Fantastic Four #26.

  2. Here Dunphy name drops the Thing as a close friend. D-Man and the Thing palled around together while Grimm was a member of the UCWF. Dunphy also mentions how the Thing recently rejoined the Fantastic Four. This a complex series of events:

    • During the first Secret Wars, the Ben Grimm discovered that he could change back and forth from his human and Thing forms at will and stayed behind on Battleworld for a time, selecting the She-Hulk to take his place on the FF. See Marvel Super-Heroes Secret Wars #1-12, Fantastic Four #265 and Thing #10-22.

    • When Grimm returned home, he discovered that his longtime girlfriend Alicia Masters was now in a relationship with the Human Torch and called it quits on the team in Thing #23. This wasn’t the real Alicia though, but a Skrull impostor as we learn in Fantastic Four #357-358, it’s a long story that’s mostly irrelevant here.

    • The Thing travelled for a while but eventually joined up with the UCWF from Thing #32-36 where he exposed the Power Broker’s scheme to get the wrestlers addicted. The Thing quickly departed when his body started to mutate even more.

    • The Thing was eventually found by his former teammates and convinced to rejoin the FF in Fantastic Four #296.

  3. Dunphy based most of his costume off Daredevil’s original outfit worn between Daredevil #1 and 6. In issue #7 of that series, Matt Murdock switched to the red costume he is best known for.

  4. Super-Patriot has been trying to turn public opinion against Captain America so he can supplant Cap as America’s hero. However, the Super-Patriot has been doing so by unethical means using a group called the Buckies to start shit in Captain America’s name. See Captain America #323 and last issue.

  5. Steve recounts a time when he briefly had super-human strength. The was after the super-soldier formula interacted with the Viper’s venom in Captain America #157. This strength would eventually fade by around Captain America #218.

Topical References

  • Here it is stated that the military paid Captain America a million dollars. Adjusting for inflation that would be about 2.4 million in 2021 money.

Captain America #327

Captain America #327

Captain America #329

Captain America #329