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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Captain America #600

Captain America #600

Origin

Reprinting a two page retelling of Captain America’s origins that were first published in Captain America: Red, White & Blue #1.

One Year After

It’s been a year since the death of Captain America.[1] The media is commemorating this tragic even be remembering the life of America’s Living Legend of World War II. They recount how he was the only recipient of the Super Soldier Serum, noting his service during the war with his partner Bucky, as well as alongside the Invaders.[2]

It is recounted how Captain America went MIA in 1945 and spent decades frozen in ice until he was revived in the present day by the Avengers.[3] In this brand new age, he fought for truth and justice against a myrade of evil foes both along side the Avengers, and on his own.[4] Lastly, the recount when Steve Rogers was gunned down on the steps of the New York City court house after his arrest for flouting the new Super-Human Registration Act.[5]

Sharon Carter’s Lament

Sharon Carter watches this coverage from a large screen in Times Square. She couldn’t possibly forget the death of Captain America. She was there and she was the one who made the kill shots. Its something that’ll haunt her even though she wasn’t in control of herself at the time.[6] As usual, when Sharon thinks about that day she relives it in her mind. However, this time it’s even clearer than before and she notices that the gun she used wasn’t a conventional firearm. It was some kind of high tech weapon. After she shot Steve, she then handed the weapon to another thrall of Doctor Faustus.

Now that she remembers this, Sharon tracks down this other man. Breaking into his home, she uses a device given to her by Nick Fury that manages to tap into Faustus’ mind control. The man confirms he was the one Sharon handed the gun off to after she shot Steve. She asks him where the weapon is now. As it turns out, them an still has it hidden in his closet. He was supposed to hold onto it until Doctor Faustus come to personally collect it. Checking the closet she is overjoyed to find the gun hidden in a shoebox. As it turns out, Faustus didn’t pick the weapon up before he had his falling out with the Red Skull.[7]

The Other Steve Rogers

“Steve Rogers”, otherwise known as the Captain America from the 1950s, sits in a diner which is also playing the anniversary coverage. The waitress notices his resemblance to the real Steve Rogers. “Steve” admits that he is not but wishes he could be. After he leaves, he wonders if he still really feels that way. He remembers how used to want to be Captain America so badly he underwent plastic surgery, had his voice altered, and his name legally changed. After discovering a version of the Super Soldier Formula he injected himself with it and his young friend Jack Monroe could become the new Captain America and Bucky in 1953. What did that get him? A whole lot of nothing as he and Bucky were frozen in suspended animation and forgotten when they didn’t want them anymore.[8]

He thinks about what they did to the real Steve Rogers, fatally shot him as he was going to trail for treason. As he walks down the street he sees foreclosure signs on many of the properties. He thinks about this era, and all of its high tech gadgetry and thinks it’s all wrong. Sure he grew up during the Great Depression, but he remembers people being more civilized back then.

As he heads back to his car, “Steve” catches two men breaking into his truck and fiddling with his Captain America costume and shield. After he cleans their clock, “Steve” thinks that this America needs a Captain America like him to save it, but first he has to find the right people, ones who see things his way and will want his help.[9]

The Youth of Today

Rikki Barnes is looking to get in touch with the Young Avenger known as the Patriot. It doesn’t take her very long to figure out the kid’s secret identity. Looking up info on the Black Captain America from World War II, Rikki learns his name is Isiah Bradley. Sure enough, Isiah is related to a young man named Elijah Bradley, a teenager who just so happens to be the same height and build as the Patriot.[10] She reminds herself to tell the kid to do a better job hiding his secret identity.

The following morning, Eli is trying to convince the vice-principal to let him say a few words in memory of Captain America during the assembly scheduled later that day. The principal refuses, reminding Elijah that Steve Rogers died while on trial for treason and will not be commemorated. Bradley then speaks disrespectfully about the school and finds himself suspended, not that he cares.

Rikki has been following Eli the entire day and follows him home as well. Spying through the living room window she is sad to see that Isiah Bradley has been reduced to a mentally diminish capacity. That’s when she spots the Patriot leaping by the nearby rooftops and follows. Seconds later, Rikki is ambushed by the Patriot, who knew he was being tailed and set up a trap for her to find out why. She tells him that she wants to be introduced to the new Captain America so she can be his partner. This makes Eli laugh until he realizes that she is being serious and decides to hear her out.

He learns that she is from another version of Earth and is stuck on this one. On her world, Rikki was her Captain America’s Bucky. Now trapped on a world she has no friends or anyone to turn to. The Patriot admits that he knows the new Cap, but doesn’t know how to reach him. He invites her to join him and the Young Avengers at the vigil that is being held for Steve Rogers later that day, she’ll make some friends which is something Steve would want her to do. Rikki likes the idea and the two go off hand-in-hand as friends.[11][12]

Crossbones and Sin

At a HAMMER correctional facility, one of the guards are complaining about all the privilages the inmates are getting. His colleague warns him not to complain too loud about the changes since Norman Osborn took over if he wants to keep his job.[13] The inmates are all watching the news coverage about Captain America on TV.

One of the inmates just happens to be Crossbones, the man accused of killing Captain America.[14] When Crossbones begins bad-mouthing Captain America, one of the guards starts beating him. In his anger, he lest slip that they are also keeping Sin imprisoned at the same facility.[15] This gives Crossbones the will to try and break free. He fights his way to the infirmary where he is reunited with his beloved. The laugh about the anniversary of Captain America’s death, since people don’t know the real truth. However, the guards soon fire knock out gas into the infirmary, knocking the two out.

The Avengers Dilemma

The new Captain America (James “Bucky” Barnes) is training at the New Avengers hideout with Luke Cage, Ronin (Clint Barton), and the Black Widow (Natasha Romanov). They are aware that there is going to be a vigil commemorating Steve Rogers, even though HAMMER has announced that anyone participating will be arrested for conducting an unlawful gathering. James intends on showing up in costume as Captain America, despite the risk of capture. The others think this is an incredibly bad move. However, James is tired of always being in hiding. He wasn’t able to attend Steve’s funeral, and he wasn’t able to attend Jim Hammod’s either, he isn’t going to pass this up as well.[16]

He is willing to face Osborn and whoever he sends his way if they show. However, Natasha points out that he would be putting many innocent people in harms way if a battle broke out. She tells him to use the good sense that she knows he has. All Clint can tell James is that Nat has a point.

The Red Skull’s Delirium

The Red Skull thinks back to all the times he has come close to killing Captain America over the years. During the war he had many opportunities, like in Germany’s Black Forest, and Hitler’s Eagle Nest fortress. In more recent times, he almost had Captain America defeated with the help of the fools known as the Exiles.[17] However, the joy he got in their battles wasn’t just the possibility of killing his eternal foe, but tormenting him and making him suffer, such as when he possessed the power of the Cosmic Cube.[18] He remembers the time he almost strangled Baron Zemo to death when he outlined a plan to kill Captain America and Bucky during the war.[19] This was because nobody had the right to kill Captain America but the Red Skull.

Now, existing in one of Arnim Zola’s spare robotic bodies, he muses that someday people will realize all he has done and nobody will be to deny that the Red Skull proved to be the superior of Captain America.[20] The Red Skull then begins to cackle manically.

The Vigilant

As night falls over New York City, citizens begin to gather to form their vigil. Observing from the air is Captain America’s sometime partner the Falcon. His network of birds warn him that Norman Osborn is coming with his team of Avengers.[21] Even though he is registered, he refuses to be around them when they arrive. He also spotted some people he recognizes even though they are out of costume: The New Avengers. Changing out of costume he joins them as well. He is glad that Natasha convinces James not to show up in costume to avoid trouble. Sam warns them that Osborn’s Avengers are arriving and they are likely scanning the crowd. However, the New Avengers are prepared. Before they left they had Wiccan cast a teleportation spell on them that will pull them away if a battle breaks out.

Indeed Osborn’s team — the Iron Patriot (Osborn himself), the Sentry (Bob Reynolds), Ms. Marvel (Karla Sofen), — have arrived and indeed pick up that the New Avengers are somewhere in this crowd. Rather than engage them, Osborn decides to use this situation to his advantage. Landing in front of the mourners, he tells them that the announcement that this would be considered an unlawful assembly was just a misunderstanding and that he and his Avengers have come to pay their respects with everyone else.

When the audience applauds Norman Osborn’s speech, the New Avengers are furious that the former Green Goblin is using Steve’s memory as a propaganda tool. That’s when Sharon Carter arrives looking for Sam and James. She is glad to find them at the vigil because she thinks she knows a way they can save Steve Rogers.

… This story is continued in Captain America: Reborn #1.

Recurring Characters

Captain America (Barnes), Sharon Carter, Bucky, Patriot, New Avengers (Luke Cage, Ronin, Spider-Woman, Mockingbird), Black Widow, Falcon, Sin, Crossbones, Dark Avengers (Iron Patriot, Sentry, Ms. Marvel), Isiah Bradley, (in flashback) Captain America (Rogers) , Captain America (Brunside), AIM, Red Skull, Young Avengers (Wiccan, Hulkling, Hawkeye), Faith Bradley

Continuity Notes

  1. Steve Rogers was seemingly gunned down in Captain America (vol. 5) #25. In reality, he has been unmoored from time and is reliving his life over and over. He will be freed in Captain America: Reborn #1-5.

  2. Captain America’s origin is recounted again, per Captain America Comics #1. Cap joined the Invaders in Giant-Size Invaders #1.

  3. Obligatory reference to Avengers #4 is now out of the way.

  4. This one page splash is a montage of early Captain America stories, mostly focusing on his first tenue as Avengers leader. On display are:

    • Kang the Conqueror, a time travelling warlord that Cap first faced in Avengers #8.

    • The Collector, a cosmic being whose sole motivation should be self evident. He fought him in Avengers #28.

    • Baron Heinrich Zemo, one of Cap’s major foes from the war. We first saw him in Avengers #4.

    • Attuma, the Atlantean barbarian, who fought Cap in Avengers #26-27.

    • Dragon Man, who Cap fought along side his team in Avengers #41.

    • Korvac, a cosmic being of god-like power who haled from the 30th Century. Cap, the Avengers, and the Guardians of the Galaxy fought him in Avengers #167-177. (The Official Index to the Marvel Universe: Captain America misidentifies this as being Eternity, which doesn’t make any sense, that’s clearly Korvac)

    • Ultron, the killer robot, who Cap and the Avengers fought in Avengers #54-55 (although they weren’t aware of it at the time).

    • The Falcon, aka Sam Wilson. Since being trained by Cap in Captain America #118, the pair have been crime-fighting partners on-and-off for years.

    • We see the symbol for Hydra, a terrorist organization. Cap’s earliest chronological clash with them dates back to 1941 as detailed in Wolverine: Origin #16-20.

    • The Super-Adaptoid, an AIM created android that can mimic the powers of others, Cap first fought it in Tales of Suspense #82-84.

    • A member of the Sons of the Serpent, a racist group that Cap first encountered in Avengers #32-33.

    • Quicksilver, the Scarlet Witch, and Hawkeye — who were part of the first team of Avengers Cap led starting in Avengers #16.

    • We also have a headshot of Yellowjacket, one of the many superhero personas of Hank Pym. Steve first met him as Giant-Man in Avengers #4. He became Yellowjacket in Avengers #59.

    • We see the Black Widow in her original costume. Steve first met her in Avengers #29.

    • The Swordsman, aka Jacques Duquesne, whom Captain America first fought back in Avengers #19-20.

  5. Captain America fought against the SHRA in Civil War #1-7. He surrendered to authorities when he realized most Americans supported the new law. He was later seemingly killed in Captain America (vol. 5) #25. However, he didn’t actually die. Instead he was unmoored from time by chronal bullets as will be told in Captain America: Reborn #1-5.

  6. At the time she shot Captain America, Sharon was under the hypnotic control of Doctor Faustus. See Captain America (vol. 5) #22 to learn how that happened.

  7. Doctor Faustus dipped on the Red Skull’s latest schemes in Captain America (vol. 5) #42.

  8. This is a very coloured version of events. The reason why “Steve” and Jack were locked away was because the Super Soldier Serum in their systems was imperfect and drove them mad. See Captain America #155 for all those crucial details.

  9. Yeah, a far-right nut job like William Burnside is going to find his “people”, it’ll turn out to be the terrorist group known as the Watchdogs. See Captain America #602-605.

  10. Isiah Bradley’s story as the Black Captain America was originally told in Truth: Red, White & Black #1-7. Elijah took up the mantle of the Patriot in Young Avengers #1.

  11. Rikki Barnes was one of the people who existed on Franklin Richard’s Counter-Earth that was created following the events of Onslaught: Marvel Universe #1. She met Earth-616’s Captain America in Captain America (vol. 2) #1-5 and became his partner for a brief period. Steve eventually returned to his own world in Heroes Reborn: The Return #1-4. Bucky continued being a hero on her version of Earth, until she was stranded on Earth-616 following the events of Onslaught Reborn #1-5.

  12. Elija doesn’t find Rikki’s story too outlandish, mentioning how he was friends with Kang before he became a conqueror. He is referring to the younger version of Nathaniel Richards who attempted to prevent his future of becoming Kang from happening by traveling to the present and forming the Young Avengers, however he was forced to go back and pursue his destiny in order to prevent catastrophic damage to the timeline. See Young Avengers #1-6.

  13. Norman Osborn took over SHIELD after Tony Stark was unable to prevent a Skrull invasion of Earth. Osborn had landed the kill shot that eliminated the Skrull queen. Once he took over the spy agency he changed the name to HAMMER. See Secret Invasion #1-8.

  14. Crossbones made the first shot but wasn’t the “killer”. He was busted in Captain America (vol. 5) #25, broken out of jail in issue #28-29, and arrested again in issue #36.

  15. Sin was arrested after Captain America foiled her attempt at murdering Senator Gordon Wright during a Presidential debate. See Captain America (vol. 5) #42.

  16. Many heroes on the anti-registration side of things were unable to attend Captain America’s funeral, held during Fallen Son: The Death of Captain America #5, out of fear they’d be arrested. Following his death in New Invaders #9, Bucky uncovered the fact that Jim Hammonds remains were being examined by the UN and later stolen by Professor Zheng Chen to create a Human Torch virus. He was able to recover the remains and get a proper military funeral held on his behalf. See Captain America (vol. 5) #43-48.

  17. The Exiles were a group of mostly Nazi war criminals that lived on an isolated island. They first appeared in Tales of Suspense #41, but didn’t start working with the Red Skull until Captain America #102-104.

  18. In the flashback we see a miniaturized Captain America trapped in the Cosmic Cube. This was from Captain America #115.

  19. This your is an obligatory reference to Avengers #4.

  20. The Red Skull lost his original body when it was fatally shot by the Winter Soldier back in Captain America (vol. 5) #1. As we learned in issue #14, he cheated death by using the Cosmic Cube to jump into the mind of Aleksander Lukin. There he lived until Lukin was fatally shot himself in issue #42. The Red Skull’s mind was then transferred into one of Zola’s spare bodies.

  21. When Osborn took over as HAMMER, he also formed his own team of “Dark Avengers”, villains masquerading of pre-established superheroes. See Dark Avengers #1.

Topical References

  • This story is framed as though Captain America has been dead for an entire year. However, based on the Sliding Timescale’s 4:1 time compression, this is not accurate. Captain America (vol. 5) #25 and this story were published 32 months apart (April, 2007 and August, 2009), making the actual passage of time closer to 8 months in universe. These measurements aren’t supposed to be exact just a vague perspective on the passage of time. So being off here or there by a few days or months is to be expected if you’re analyzing down to this level of detail. I’m choosing to accept this assessment at face value, you do you.

  • The TV in the diner is depicted as a CRT model. This should be considered topical as this is an obsolete technology.

  • The news network covering the Captain America anniversary is depicted as CNN. This should be considered topical because this is a real world TV network.

In Memorium

Josh Cooper has travelled out to Santa Fe, New Mexico, to visit his old neighbor and friend Bernie Rosenthal. Seeing photos of them from years ago along with Steve Rogers and Mike Farrel, reminds Cooper of old times. He can hardly believe that Steve was secretly Captain America all those years. Looking back on things now, it was so obvious he was surprised he didn’t figure it out.[1]

The pair remember old times, like the day that Steve and Bernie first met,[2] and the time that Captain America was considering a presidential run.[3] It wasn’t long after that that Bernie and Steve started dating. It was Bernie who was the first person to say they loved one another.[4] She remembers being upset when he didn’t say it back right away, as though there was something keeping him from opening up to her completely. She eventually figured it out, when she deduced that Captain America and Steve Rogers were the same person. She made this realization when Cap broke up a brawl between a group of Neo-Nazis and protestors.[5]

Knowing Steve’s secret made her a target for his enemies, such as when the creature known as Primus posed as Steve to harm her.[6] Although it wasn’t all death and danger, as she enjoyed watching Steve train, and met his new partner Nomad. But regardless, she still worried about if Steve would make it back home alive every time he went out on patrol.[7] Eventually, she couldn’t handle their relationship taking a back seat to his life as Captain America and they broke up and they eventually drifted apart.[8] After graduating from law school, Bernie returned to New York and she and Steve reconnected, but remained friends. It wasn’t long after this that she was captured by the Watchdogs. When she was rescued by Captain America, he discovered that their old friend Mike Farrel was a member and he did time for the crimes he committed.[9]

When Mike got out of jail he blamed Captain America for ruining his life. Taking over the Super-Patriot identity he worked with a mutant named Dead-Ringer to try and get revenge. When Bernie stumbled on this plot they took her prisoner. When Steve saved her this time, Mike was fatally injured. After his death, an autopsy was done and they found that Mike had a brain tumor, which might have been the reason for his erratic and criminal behavior in later years.

Mike’s death gets him Josh thinking about Steve’s death and he asks where she was when Captain America died. She reveals that she was right there in the crowd (unknowingly steps away from Sharon Carter). She tried calling out to him as he walked up the courthouse steps. Seconds later, she saw him get shot and realized there was nothing she could do. She was so upset by what happened she had to leave New York City, and this is why she moved to New Mexico. When she asks Josh if this makes her a coward, he doesn’t think so.

That’s when Bernie reveals that she has Mike Farrel’s ashes, which she inherited because he didn’t have any surviving family members. She decides its long over due to spread them. So, that evening, she and Josh drive out to the desert and release them into the wind. They hope that both Steve and Mike have found peace. As if in answer to this, fireworks begin going off in the distance.

Recurring Characters

Bernie Rosenthal, Josh Cooper

Continuity Notes

  1. Captain America lived in the same apartment building at 569 Leaman Place as Josh, Bernie and Mike from Captain America #237 through 317.

  2. Bernie first appeared in Captain America #247, but didn’t meet him until the following issue.

  3. Captain America was asked to run for President of the Untied States in Captain America #250. He decided against it because it would prevent him from saving lives as Captain America.

  4. Bernie told Steve that she was in love with him in Captain America #268.

  5. Bernie doped out Captain America’s double identity because both Cap and Steve Rogers gave the same corny speeches and dimpled chins. See Captain America #275-276.

  6. Primus posed as Steve Rogers and attacked Bernie in Captain America #279.

  7. The training scene is from Captain America #290. Steve partnered with Jack Monroe, aka Nomad from Captain America #281 to 306.

  8. Bernie and Steve broke up in Captain America #316.

  9. Bernie returned to New York in Captain America #380, the incident with the Watchdogs happened in issue #385.

  10. Mike Farrel went after Cap as the Super-Patriot along with Dead Wringer in Captain America #425-439. Captain America is depicted wearing a suit of armor in this flashback. At the time, Steve’s Super Soldier Serum was deteriorating starting in issue #425. He was forced to wear a suit of armor to maintain his mobility starting in issue #438. He was eventually cured of his condition in Captain America #445 and ditched the armor, thankfully.

Topical References

  • In one of Berni’s flashbacks the original twin towers of the World Trade Center are depicted as part of the New York City skyline. While that was accurate to the era of publication these flashbacks are based on, their presence is a topical reference as the original towers were destroyed in a terrorist attack on September 11, 2001. They have long since been replaced with the Freedom Tower.

The Persistence of Memorabilia

Joseph Paglino, the man with the world’s largest collection of Captain America memorabilia, has decided to sell it all at a high priced auction. When he is interviewed by the press, they are more interested in talking about the controversy surrounding Captain America’s death rather than the real reason why he is selling this auction. The big ticket item is a mint condition copy of Captain America Comics #1, from 1941. Something that should fetch a hefty price since Marvel Comics stopped publishing officially licensed Captain America comic books.

Inside, the items are auctioned off to different bidders. A rare photo of Captain America leading troops at Guadalcanal in 1942 is purchased by an elderly soldier. Steve Rogers’ old police badge — back from when he was part of the NYPD — is sold to another officer who used to work the beat with him back in the day.[1]

The next item up for auction is artwork that Steve Rogers drew of Captain America comics while working as a freelance artist at Marvel Comics.[2] This work is purchased by the son of a publisher who just recently bought the rights to publish Captain America comics. When he wins this auction he boasts how he is going to use their publishing rights to “reveal Captain America for the traitor that he really is”. He plans on using Steve Rogers’ own artwork to make him to both boost sales and smear the legend’s name. Because of his lack of decorum, the auctioneers have security escort Paglino out of the room so they can continue the rest of the auction.

After a number of items, including Cap’s old Nomad costume,[2] the crown jewel of the collection, Captain America’s original Avengers ID card.[3] There is a three way bidding war for this piece of memorabilia, but ultimately a non-descript woman in sunglasses wins the bid. As it turns out, the woman was bidding by proxy for Tony Stark. Later, once he has the ID card in his hands, he can confirm that it is the genuine article and therefor worth every penny he paid for it.

Meanwhile, the rich-boy who bought the Captain America artwork returns to his father’s publishing company ready to put his slanderous Captain America comic book to press as soon as possible. However, he quickly discovers his father is not around and that painters are changing the signage. When he goes to the publisher’s office he discovers that Joseph Paglino sold his entire Captain America collection in order to buy the company in order to prevent them from publishing anything negative about Captain America. He tells the son of a bitch that they don’t print lies about patriots before slamming the door in his face.

Recurring Characters

Tony Stark

Continuity Notes

  1. Captain America had a short lived stint as a beat cop from Captain America #139 to 159.

  2. As a freelance artist, Steve Rogers did work for Marvel Comics from time to time, as seen in Captain America #314. The art work on display are actually reproductions of work done by Captain America co-creator Jack Kirby from Tales of Suspense #81 and 85.

  3. This costume was worn by Captain America briefly during a period he was disillusioned with what he represented. See Captain America #175-176 and 180-183.

  4. Do I need to remind you that Captain America first joined the Avengers in issue #4 of that series?

Topical References

  • The old vet who buys the photo of Cap from 1942 is depicted as being one of the soldiers in the photograph. This will become increasingly impossible due to the Sliding Timecale pushing the Modern Age forward. Soon it will be impossible for a World War II vet to be alive without some means of having their life extended. It seems unlikely that a one off character like this would have that kind of explanation for why he is still alive. Modern readers could assume that this is a surviving relative of the soldier in the photo, who is also an elderly veteran, just not a veteran of World War II.

  • Captain America’s original Avengers ID card is depicted as being signed by President Bill Clinton who was President of the United States from 1993 to 2001. This should be considered a topical reference as this is relative to the date of publication. This story was published in August 2009, while Avengers #4 was published in March, 1964. Per the Sliding Timescale, Captain America had first joined the Avengers about 12 years prior to this story. 12 years prior to 2009 would have been 1997.

Supplementary Material

Depending on if you’re viewing a print or digital edition of this comic the additional features vary.

  • Some digital editions include “Passing the Torch” an awful Fred Hembeck joke strip that was published in Captain America (vol. 5) #30. Who the fuck thought people wanted to have this twice?

  • There is also a feature called “My Bulletin Board” written by Captain America co-creator Joe Simon. It’s a rambling story about how Jack Kirby had bad memory. It’s not a particularly interesting story, but the dude was in his late 90s when he wrote it, so he gets a pass.

  • Captain America: The Golden Age, which reprints all 76 issues of Captain America Comics published between 1941 and 1949.

  • Captain America 600 Cover Gallery: A selection of issues of Tales of Suspense and Captain America comics published between 1963 and 2009.

  • “Red Skull’s Deadly Revenge” a reprint of the story from Captain America Comics #16.

Captain America (vol. 5) #50

Captain America (vol. 5) #50

Captain America #601

Captain America #601