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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Captain America (vol. 3) #34

Captain America (vol. 3) #34

Cache is King!

Captain America and the Falcon are investigating claims that tech company Parliamech has been stealing Internet user data. Requesting a meeting with the company CEO, the pair were attacked and subdued with knock out gas. Captain America soon wakes up and finds himself in a frozen tunnel, with no idea where he is and how he got hear. As he tries to find a way out, he is then attacked by massive four-armed humanoids made of ice.

While in New York City, EMTs have been called to the pier to treat US Agent for life threatening injuries. One of the paramedics is Jake Olsen, the mortal guise for Thor. As they try to stabilize the Agent, they are interrupted by SHIELD’s new director Sharon Carter and her right-hand-man, Dum Dum Dugan. They have come with a medic team to take control of the situation. Through this all, Thor wonders who could have seriously injured US Agent so badly, and what happened to SHIELD’s long time director, Nick Fury.[1][2]

Elsewhere, the Falcon wakes up to find himself in a bizarre swamp in shackles. With him are Josh Hoard — the creator of Parliatech — and his friend Dawn Ridgeway, the two who tipped Sam and Steve off to the shady goings on at the company. As confused as Captain America, the trio press through the swamp. However, Falcon warns Josh and Dawn to remain alert as they are likely walking into some kind of trap.

In the ice tunnels, Captain America fights back against his attackers when, suddenly, the ground opens up to reveal a flow of lava underneath. Luckily, Cap manages to land on a small island of rock in the middle of the flow. That’s when their captor begins talking to him through some unseen communications system. Steve recognizes the voice as the man at Parliatech that captured them. Moments later, he is attacked by flying ice dragons that can breath fire. Given the thermodynamic impossibilities on display, Captain America suspects that this is some kind of illusion. Grabbing onto the tail of one of the ice dragon, Cap uses it to get as close to the ceiling of the tunnel as possible. Upon ramming his shield into the ceiling, he damages some vital machinery maintaining the illusion, revealing that Steve has been held in some kind of holographic studio of some kind.

His captor is impressed and when Steve demands he show himself, they comply. Their captor turns out to be an artificial intelligence called Cache. It brags about having collected all the world’s data into itself, saying that it has access to every secret on the Internet. When Cap tosses his shield at the entity, he can easily deflect the weapon. However, this opens Cache up to a frontal attack. The brawl between the two sends them smashing through a wall and into the holo-chamber where Falcon, Josh, and Dawn were being kept prisoner. Out numbered, Cache tries to escape by unleashing a blinding flash of light. Luckily, Cap manages to use his shield to protect his eyes. While Cache’s guard is down he beats the artificial intelligence into submission. Soon the authorities arrive and take Cache into custody. With the battle over, Captain America tells Josh that this was all caused his creation of Cache, and that it should be his job to come up with a method of preventing something like this from happening again.

Meanwhile, in the Middle East, Nick Fury is on a secret mission to learn if agent David Ferrari is really dead or not. Meeting with a SHIELD agent named Berger, who takes him out to the abandoned facility where Ferarri supposedly died. Berger says that it is the sight of on of SHIELD’s worst tragedies, and he is lucky that the world hasn’t found out about it.[3]

While at the secret hideout of Advance Idea Mechanics, Protocide has returned from his mission to eliminate US Agent. Telling his handlers that the mission was accomplished, they tell him that his next target is the man who stole what was supposed to be his: Captain America.[4]

Recurring Characters

Captain America, Falcon, SHIELD (Sharon Carter, Dum Dum Dugan, Nick Fury), AIM (Cache), Protocide, US Agent, Thor, Jake Olson

Continuity Notes

  1. US Agent was seriously injured by Protocide last issue. He’ll be fully recovered from his injuries when see him again in Maximum Security #1.

  2. At the time of this story, Sharon had been chosen to direct SHIELD while Nick Fury went on a secret mission, as seen in Captain America (vol. 3) #32. Sharon will maintain this role until Captain America (vol. 3) #45.

  3. David Ferrari is a SHIELD agent and sister to Connie Ferrari, who is dating Stever Rogers at the time of this story. In Captain America (vol. 3) #20, we learned that Connie believes that her brother died after enlisting to the military and dying in a hazing ritual gone wrong. This was actually a cover story. In Captain America (vol. 3) #35-36 that he was secretly a SHIELD agent. After using an a bioweapon called the Omega Compound to destroy the enemy while on a mission, he was believed dead for years. However, he faked his death and has been secretly operating as the Answer and plotting to take over the world. See Captain America (vol. 3) #41-43.

  4. As per Captain America Comics #1, the Super-Soldier Formula was famously lost when its inventor, Abraham Erskine, was killed by a Nazi spy. Although Steve has been commonly referred to as the "only” recipient of the formula, that’s not entirely true. The man found by AIM was a soldier named Clinton McIntyre. As will be revealed in Captain America Annual 2000, he was a rejected candidate due to not meeting the psychological profile. However, one of the military brass stole a second dose of the formula and gave it to McIntyre. However, this was only one part of a three part process, and without the other three components of the formula, Clinton went on an insane rampage until his heart gave out on him. The military then quickly covered it up and lost his body in a top secret storage facility. His body was recovered by AIM in issues #26-27.

Captain America (vol. 3) #33

Captain America (vol. 3) #33

Captain America (vol. 3) #35

Captain America (vol. 3) #35