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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Combat Kelly #9

Combat Kelly #9

Combat Kelly

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Combat Kelly and Cookie Novak are on their way back from enemy lines when they come across a Korean family being terrorized by Chinese soldiers. The pair rescue the family, and meet their young daughter Chan-Hi, who offers her doll -- her only possession -- to the soldiers in thanks. Combat refuses to take the doll and offers the girl chocolate from his k-rations and learns that the family is relocating to Singye to live with her grandparents. They send the family on their way and return to base with the Chinese soldiers as their prisoners. When they report in, Major Thorn puts them on a 24 hour leave.

With nothing to do, the two soldiers try to come up an idea. They cross paths with their commanding sergeant and ask him how they should spend their time. The sarge is in a bad mood, explaining that he spent his three day leave in Pusan and spent a fortune in a P.X. for a doll to give another soldier to mail to his daughter as a gift. However, when the Sarge returned to camp he found that the guy he bought the doll for had been transferred. Suddenly getting an idea, Combat and Cookie buy the doll from the Sarge and head off to Singye to give it to Chan-Hi as a gift.

As they arrive some of the locals try to warn them that there are enemy soldiers in the area, but since Combat and Cookie do not understand Korean they are captured. The Chinese soldiers are amused that the two Americans have a doll before throwing it away and taking them prisoner. Combat and Cookie find themselves submitted to a Chinese water torture. That night as the cold water slowly drips on their heads, they are suddenly cut free by Chan-Hi, who leads them to where a number of the locals are hiding out. The two Americans learn that Chan-Hi's parents were killed in battle and that her grandfather has determined to stay in the city to organize people in a fight to win back their homes.

They learn that the Chinese have rigged the homes with explosives in order to blow up advancing American troops when they arrive, and that the group was planning to send one of their own to sacrifice their life in order to detonate the explosives and kill the Chinese soldiers occupying their land. Cookie and Combat volunteer to do the job and sneak out to the trigger, taking down the guards manning it. They then set off the explosives, destroying the town and slaying all the Chinese soldiers. In the aftermath of the battle, Combat finds the doll he brought in the ruins and finds that it is a little charred but otherwise all right. When they reunite with Chan-Hi and her grandfather, he gives her the doll, and she is so happy she kisses Combat on the cheek before he and Cookie return to base.

Recurring Characters

  • Combat Kelly

  • Cookie Novak

  • Major Thorn

Combat Kelly

Combat Kelly and Cookie Novak are awoken by their commanding officer to work a graveyard shift guarding the prisoners. However when they arrive to relieve the current guards they find that Yalu River Rosie and her fellow soldiers have broken out of their cells and are fleeing the base. As the pair chase after her, a Chinese jeep drives up to pick her up and she escapes as Combat and Cookie battle it out with the other escaped soldiers. Not wanting her to get away, Combat and Cookie hop on an army motorcycle and race after her before they can explain to their commanding officer who yells after them to come back.

Pushing the motorcycle to it's limits, Combat manages to catch up with the jeep and as he navigates, Cookie uses a rifle to take out the driver. The jeep crashes but Yalu River Rosie escapes unscathed and shoots out the front tire on Combat's bike sending the two soldiers spilling out. Rosie then comes across a farmer with a hay wagon and forces him to turn over his horse so she can ride away.

When Combat and Cookie come around they question the Korean man and learn which way Rosie went. Without any other means of conveyance, they use the old man's wagon to race after her, but without any breaks it rolls out of control. They manage to catch up to Rosie and Combat pounces on her horse to stop her, but Rosie dives off over a cliff into a nearby river. Unwilling to let her escape, Combat dives in after her as the cart carrying Cookie crashes into some rocks. Cookie quickly recovers and sees that Combat and Rosie are being swept away in the river's strong currents toward a waterfall that ends in jagged rocks. Seeing Combat and Rosie go over the edge, Cookie assumes that they were killed on the rocks and returns to base.

There Cookie meets with Major Thorn and explains everything and is shocked when Thorn orders him tossed in the stockade. There he is shocked to see Combat alive and well. Combat explains that he was tossed in the stockade as well when he was found by Sargent O'Hooligan spotted him and Rosie in the water and assumed that Combat was swimming with the enemy and had him arrested for goofing off on the job.

Recurring Characters

  • Combat Kelly

  • Cookie Novak

  • Major Thorn

  • Sargent O’Hooligan

  • Yalu River Rosie

Here's Cookie!

Cookie Novak is given a important secret message from Colonel Gioletti that was requested by Major Thorn. Cookie takes the message and leaves in a jeep heading back to base. Along the way the jeep is blown up by enemy mortar fire. Cookie survives the blast and flees into the nearby woods, unwilling to be captured with the secrets that he has been charged with. Cookie fights back against his attackers, killing the two after him, but some more sneak up behind him and knock him out.


They find the secret note, and the commanding officer decides to execute Cookie. He leans Cookie's unconscious body against a tree to shoot him in the head. However, Cookie's weight causes the tree to lean back and snap forward when he keels over to the side, the force the tree knocks out his would-be executors. Coming around, Cookie recovers the note and doubles back to his ruined jeep and spies some enemy troops trying to salvage supplies from it. Noticing that gasoline has seeped out of the tank, Cookie fires at it causing an explosion that kills the enemy soldiers.

Cookie then runs back to base on foot where he is quickly brought before Major Thorn. Thorn is excited to get the message, revealing that it is a spaghetti sauce recipe made by Colonel Gioletti's grandmother and he intends to treat the troops to it around dinner. Shocked that he risked his life to deliver such a "secret", Cookie tells the Major that if he has any more similar missions to forget about giving them to him.

Recurring Characters

  • Cookie Novak

  • Major Thorn

Combat Kelly

Combat and Cookie are set on a mission to search along a river separating them from the enemy to find out how the Chinese are getting tanks across to their side for surprise attacks. Getting tired, Cookie stops to drink out of the river. Combat spots the reflection of a Chinese soldier in the water and before the enemy can toss a boulder at Cookie's head, Combat kicks him in the water and fights off their attackers. Diving in after Cookie, he finds that the water is oddly shallow. However, when they dive down they are surprised that the river is not shallow at all, but the Chinese have built a bridge just under the surface of the water.

Stripping off their uniforms, the pair dive down into the water and sabotage the bridge, leaving a large gap in the middle. They then return to shore and wait for the next advance of enemy tanks. Sure enough when the first tank tries to cross the bridge, it falls through the hole. When the Chinese soldiers get out of the tank they are easily picked off by Combat and Cookie. Hearing an advancing enemy jeep, they take cover and overhear two commanding officers must how the destruction of the bridge has helped the enemy trap American tanks from a surprise attack with artillery.

Realizing what they have done, Combat and Cookie fix the problem by taking one of the enemy tanks and rolling it over to a part where the edges of the river bank are elevated and close enough that they can wedge the tank in as a make shift bridge. This allows the American tanks to cross over into enemy lines and blow up the artillery. In all the excitement, Combat leaves Cookie trapped in the tank and has to rush back and get him out after.

Recurring Characters

  • Combat Kelly

  • Cookie Novak

Combat Kelly #8

Combat Kelly #8

Combat Kelly #10

Combat Kelly #10