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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man #18

Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man #18

Sandblasted Part Two

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Forest Hills Cemetery, Not Long Ago[1]

Someone posing at the Ben Parker of another reality has just murdered the Spider-Man of 2211. He decides that the time-traveling Spider-Man is right and that one man can make all the difference in the world.[2] Unaware that this murder was being observed by a young man named Dennis hanging out in the cemetery, the Ben Parker impostor walks off. Checking out the dead body, Dennis removes Spider-Man’s helmet. Suddenly, the time traveler vanishes in a flash of light.[3] Dennis calls out to whatever took the body away and pleads with it to take him as well. However, the noise has drawn the groundskeeper who chases him off the property.

13th Precinct, Now

After learning that the Sandman’s father was incarcerated for allegedly murdering a homeless man who resembles Ben Parker, Peter Parker decides to check it out. The pair disguise themselves as SHIELD agents — with Peter dressing up like the Multiple Man — and question the led investigator. Shown a picture of Ben Parker, the officer confirms that he resembles the dead body they recovered from the alley. Peter tells the officer that the man in the photo is Ben Parker, who was murdered years ago.[4] Confirming that Ben Parker doesn’t have a twin brother, Peter asks what Floyd Baker said on the night he was arrested in connection with the murder. The officer says that Baker claims to have found the man while he was still alive. Apparently, Ben Parker’s last words was that he was shot by himself. Since they didn’t find a gun on the victim’s body, they assumed that Baker was lying and arrested him because he was found rolling the dead body. When the Sandman — disguised as “Agent Sands” — asks how they got a confession out of him, the officer admits that they beat it out of him before his lawyer could arrive.

This angers the Sandman enough to drop his disguise and attack the officer. The detective is hardly surprised and tells the Sandman that his loser father is going to pay for his crime. Peter, meanwhile, tries to convince Sandman to let the officer go, saying this won’t help anything. That’s when Peter’s image inducer runs out of its charge leaving him standing in the middle of a police station in his Spider-Man costume. As Spider-Man and the Sandman argue over what to do with the detective, the commotion draws other officers into the interrogation room, prompting them to make a hasty retreat.

Meanwhile, Flash Thompson has taken Betty Brant out to dinner, which both of them are enjoying. Flash admits that the reason why he invited her out was because of the gaps in his memory that he wants to reconnect with, [5]and Betty used to be a big part of his life once upon a time.[6] When Betty asks about Miss Arrow, Flash admits that he asked her out a few times but was rejected each time. Betty points out that some women like to be chased. When Flash asks what she likes, she excuses herself to go to the washroom, telling Flash that she’ll have to see where the evening goes.

By this time, Spider-Man and Sandman have escaped the police and while they have a moment to stop the web-slinger warns Sandman against threatening another life or he walks. When he once more reiterates why he should care if Floyd Baker is in jail, the Sandman asks what his Uncle Ben would think about his nephew not helping an innocent man. Although Peter takes offense to the Sandman using his Uncle name. Sandman admits that he knows where Peter is coming from and decides to go the rest of the way on his own. This guilts Peter into deciding to continue helping his foe. One thing Peter knows for sure is that there were two Uncle Ben’s in his life. The first one, his Uncle Ben, died years ago while the second one popped up in his life not long ago and then vanished. At least in the case of his Uncle Ben, his body is in the same place it’s always been. Still, they decide that starting their investigation at Forest Hills Cemetery is the best place to start.

Back at the restaurant, Betty Brant is still in the washroom when she gets a call from a friend. As she quickly gets her friend off the phone, she is suddenly covered with thousands of spiders. Shaking them off and rushing out of the bathroom in a panic, she alerts Flash and the manager and tells them about the spiders. Hearing this, all of the other customers ask for their cheques and clear out as quickly as possible. When they go back to check there are no spiders in the bathrooms. Betty insists they were there when the manager finds a mirror with lines of cocaine on it and accuses Betty of using illegal drugs in his restaurant. Betty insists that she wasn’t doing drugs but she and Flash are told to leave before the police are called. Hearing al of this from another stall, Miss Arrow smiles.[7]

Later that evening, Spider-Man and Sandman arrive at the cemetery, and when they arrive the Sandman recalls reading that Uncle Ben died. This annoys Peter because hates having the idea of his life becoming public knowledge. The Sandman tells him to get used to is as criminals seldom get much in the way of privacy, saying his own life has been public knowledge since he was sixteen years old and that it changes to you. Spider-Man thinks he has an idea what the Sandman means, saying that since he’s been on the run he hasn’t had a moment’s rest. Examining Ben Parker’s grave, Spider-Man discovers singed grass and it starts setting off his spider-sense. He explains to the Sandman that there is no immediate danger, but his spider-sense has enhanced recently and it can be used to track things.[8] The spider-sense leads them to a van parked outside the cemetery and opening it up they find Dennis inside wearing the helmet of Spider-Man 2211. He asks the two confused newcomers if they have come to take him from the future. Taking the helmet, Spider-Man and Sandman learn that Dennis pulled it off the body of Spider-Man 2211 after he was shot by some old guy. Taking on the form of Ben Parker, Sandman asks if that was the man who shot the Spider-Man from the future. Putting on the helmet, it detects Spider-Man’s arachnid DNA and allows him access to its functions. He tells it to show its last recording. It replays the instance where the man who looks like Uncle Ben shot Spider-Man 2211. When the helmet then scans a two-hundred-mile radius and pinpoints the shooter’s location. When it asks if Spider-Man wants to know the shooter’s location, the web-slinger tells it that it can bet it’s affirmative but that he does.

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, Sandman, Flash Thompson, Betty Brant, “Miss Arrow”, (flashback) “Ben Parker”, Spider-Man 2211

Continuity Notes

  1. This story states that this flashback happens “some months” earlier. This should be considered a topical reference as it denotes the length of time between publications. As the Sliding Timescale compresses four years’ worth of publication into one year of “Marvel Time”, this flashback would have actually taken place a few weeks prior to the main story instead of a few months.

  2. This flashback comes at the tail end of Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man #8-10. In that story, the Hobgoblin of 2211 brought the Ben Parker of Earth-6078 to Earth-616 as part of an insane scheme to reshape the multiverse to suit her needs. In the end, Hobgoblin was hit by one of her own Retcon Bombs erasing her from existence. Later, while trying to find Ben Parker, the Spider-Man of 2211 was murdered by an impostor. Nobody will remember any of this because of said Retcon Bomb. The impostor here is later revealed as the Chameleon of 2211 next issue.

  3. What’s not clear here is if Spider-Man 2211 is actually dead or not. The Spider-Geddon Handbook states that Max Borne was “apparently” killed here, leaving his true status open-ended. Adding to the confusion someone resembling Spider-Man 2211 appears during the Spider-Verse event in Amazing Spider-Man (vol. 3) #9. It is unclear if this is the Max Borne of Earth-9500, or an alternate from a similar reality. If it is the Max Borne of Earth-9500, it is unclear if he survived this attempt of his life or if his appearance in Spider-Verse chronologically predates his alleged death in Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man #10 (he is a time traveler after all)

  4. I shouldn’t have to tell you that Ben Parker was murdered in Amazing Fantasy #15. What you probably don’t know though is that according to the Sliding Timescale, Ben’s murder happened 12 years prior to this story.

  5. Flash suffered memory problems after a car accident in Peter Parker: Spider-Man #44-47 that left him in a catatonic state from Spectacular Spider-Man (vol. 2) #1 until Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man #3.

  6. Flash and Betty have had an on-again-off-again relationship since Peter Parker, the Spectacular Spider-Man #98.

  7. It’s later revealed in Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man #21-22 that Miss Arrow is actually the Other an entity comprised of spiders that is charged with getting Spider-Man to embrace the spider.

  8. Sandman asks Spider-Man how he got the power boost. All Spider-Man says is that he died. This is a reference to the Other: Evolve or Die event that saw Spider-Man die and be reborn with enhanced abilities. See Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man #1-4, Marvel Knights: Spider-Man #19-22, and Amazing Spider-Man #525-528.

Topical References

  • The police officer states that Floyd Baker is going to be executed for the murder. This should be considered a topical reference since the death sentence was abolished in New York state in 2004 (So this reference was already three years out of date when this comic was published) In fact, the last death sentence conviction in the state was commuted to life in prison the same year this comic was published and a year later the governor of New York had all execution equipment in state prisons dismantled. Since Rikers Island is state prison it would be affected by these changes. However, the death penalty plays an important component to the plot of this story arc, I delve into this issue in more detail in next issue’s notes.

Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man #17

Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man #17

Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man #19

Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man #19