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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Green Goblin #2

Green Goblin #2

Rampagin' With the Rhino

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After his first time out as the Green Goblin, Phil Urich thinks about the accidental discovery of the new Goblin armor and how he can use it. With his strength enhanced thanks to a chemical dousing, Phil discovers that he can only access these superhuman abilities when he is wearing the Green Goblin mask. As he tries to lift weights, Phil is interrupted by the arrival of his friend Freddie Glazer. Glazer is still freaked out about how they all almost got busted by the police for breaking into an old Osborn warehouse. Phil then learns that although Ricko the Sicko was arrested, he is already out on bail and wants to talk to Phil. Phil doesn't know what to do, and wishes he had someone to talk to so he can sort everything out.

When Phil reports for work at the Daily Bugle the next day, he finds his Uncle Ben being interrogated by the police about his encounter with the new Green Goblin. When this is told to him by Lynn Walsh, a co-worker that Phil has a crush on, he is glad to hear that Lynn has an interest in his new alter-ego. After Ben is finished with his interrogation, he gets a call from Johnny Dare. Phil is excited to hear the name because Dare is a professional football player, who is an informant for his uncle's investigation into organized crime. A huge fan of Dare, Phil manages to convince his uncle to allow him to tag along so he can meet wth professional athlete. Later, they meet Johnny at the nearby football stadium. There Johnny thanks Ben for listening to his story on illegal gambling. He is convinced the authorities don't care about how this might impact his image and his family and knows that Phil will report the story and make Johnny out to be a hero. After the meeting, Phil can't help but realize that Johnny Dare has everyday problems just like everyone else, despite the fact that he is a famous athlete. On his way home, Phil witnesses as the Human Torch flames on and flies off on some mission or another. Noticing how the woman around him are swooning at the sight, Phil realizes that being the new Green Goblin could have some fringe benefits.

Later that evening, the Green Goblin goes out looking for a super-hero team that might be interested in having him join their group. Knowing that the Avengers and the Fantastic Four are way out of his league, and decides to seek out teams that might be looking for new recruits. Using his uncle Ben's files, the Green Goblin comes crashing in on the New Warriors who are undergoing a training session in their Crash Pad.[1] Although the Goblin manages to take down Speedball, the other members of the New Warriors manage to overpower him.[2] Realizing that he is out of his league, the Green Goblin tells everyone to stop, saying that he came to join the team. Although the other Warriors have misgivings, Justice is willing to give the Goblin a chance.[3] However, the Green Goblin starts to think this is a bad idea and decides to leave, telling them that he'll think over the offer and get back to them.

On his way back home, the Green Goblin begins to wonder what to do to boost his public profile. It's then that he spots Ricko the Sicko eyeing his apartment. Wanting to avoid the resident psycho, the Goblin enters his loft apartment through the skylight. Later that evening, Phil goes to the Daily Bugle where he is instructed to sort files by his Uncle Ben.[4]

He is interrupted by a phone call from Johnny Dare, who tells Phil that the bust is happening in twenty minutes and that he needs some protection until then. When Phil gets off the phone, he decides to go protect Johnny Dare as the Green Goblin, if only to curry the favor of Lynn Walsh. The Green Goblin later arrives on the scene just as Johnny Dare and his contact are surrounded by the police. However, this contact turns out to be the super-villain known as the Rhino. With his cover blown, the Rhino begins attacking the officers. That's when the Green Goblin swoops down to stop the Rhino.[5]

With the police attacking him as well, the Green Goblin decides that he is out of his league. He is about to leave when he sees that Johnny Dare is in the Rhino's path and pulls him to safety. Not only does the Goblin break open the Rhino's briefcase of money, but he also leaves the villain stuck upside down with his horn embedded in wood. Realizing that he has successfully defeated the Rhino, the Green Goblin takes off, satisfied that the authorities will handle it from here on out.

Continuity Notes

  1. Speedball states that villains crashing a hero’s headquarters went out in the 80s. This should be considered a topical reference per the Sliding Timescale of Earth-616.

  2. Everyone thinks that the Speedball here is their longtime teammate Robert Baldwin. This is actually a time traveler named Darrion Grobe who took Speedball's place. This switch happened prior to New Warriors #50. The truth is ultimately revealed in New Warriors #70.

  3. Justice says he knows what it’s like being rejected. Vance is referring to how he was jailed for murdering his father in New Warriors #20. He was later released from prison in New Warriors #43.

  4. Phil reads a file on the Steel Spider and declares the hero to be "lame". At the time of this story, Ollie Osnick came out of retirement in his new identity of the Steel Spider in Spider-Man Unlimited #5.

  5. The Rhino mistakes Phil for Harry Osborn, the previous Green Goblin. At the time of this story, everyone thinks that Harry Osborn is dead following the events of The Spectacular Spider-Man #200. However, unknown to everyone at the time, Harry survived as explained in Amazing Spider-Man #581. He will resurface again in Amazing Spider-Man #545.

Green Goblin #1

Green Goblin #1

Green Goblin #3

Green Goblin #3