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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Assault on New Olympus #1

Assault on New Olympus #1

Prologue

Learning the truth about Continuum, Athena and Amadeus Cho go to Aphrodite to explain what is going on. She reminds the love goddess how Olympus was destroyed by the Japanese god Amatsu-Mikaboshi and vanquished by Ares, Phobos, and Hercules.[1] With the Olympians scattered across the mortal world, the Olympus Group was set up to govern over them. This seat of power was later taken over by Hera following the death of Zeus. She has since allied herself with Norman Osborn and his fake Avengers, and thanks to intel stolen from her pawn Pythagoras Dupree, they have determined that Contiuum is a threat to all life on Earth.[2] Unfortunately, Aphrodite is only interested in baser pleasures and getting revenge on Venus of the Agents of Atlas and very little concern over the current threat, mostly because people don’t worship her as they used to.[3] When she decides to get down with her male servants, Athena decides it is time to go, no matter how much Amadeus wants to stay and watch like a perv.

Meanwhile, in the M’Kraan Palace, home to the Shi’ar gods, Amatsu-Mikaboshi has come to kill them all. With K’ythri down and Sharra at his mercy, Mikaboshi explains that he is killing them as part of a larger scheme to end everything.[4]

A galaxy away, Hera is awoken from her sleep and she gets out of bed. Her lover, the Titan known as Typhon asks her what is wrong. She explains that she has always had the gift for prophecy and knows that chaos is coming in the form of Amatsu-Mikaboshi. She also senses that her agent, Pythagoras Dupree is dead. This means that Athena knows what’s going on and she orders Typhon to alert Norman Osborn that it is time to roll out Continuum.

The next morning, Athena and Amadeus are continuing their fruitless attempts at recruiting other Olympians to their cause. They have been turned down by Apollo and Dinoysus. As Athena thinks it’ll all be left to them and Hercules to save the day, Amadeus notices that Hebe is on the TV in their taxi cab. They are surprised to see that she is working at a soup kitchen in Alphabet City run by FEAST. She is praised by May Parker for all the good work she has been doing there.[5] Seeing this, both Athena and Amadeus Cho decide to get in touch with the Mighty Avengers right away.

At the Infinite Mansion of the Avengers, Jocasta answers the phone. She is just telling Amadeus that she hasn’t seen Hercules recently when the demigod and his father, Zeus (reborn as a youth) come in through one of the doorways. When hearing what’s going on, Hercules rallies the team together. Answering the call are the Wasp (Hank Pym), Quicksilver (Pietro Maximoff), and US Agent (John Walker). He tells them that there is a dire threat to the world posed by his step-mother Hera, and they must get to Hebe at all costs.

At that moment, Hebe is actually on a blind day with May Parker’s nephew Peter Parker, who is secretly Spider-Man. The two are engaging in small talk and the Parker charm amuses her. She tells him that she comes from Olympus and confides in Peter that his aunt hopes that he is to get married some day. Peter muses that as long as it’s not a redhead and she picks up on his caution about marriage.[6] She talks about how her own marriage was arranged and that while it was passionate at first, it eventually waned over the years. Eventually, her husband left her and it was almost like she disappeared. Peter finds himself falling for Hebe very hard and sees that he is distressed over recounting all of this. While soothing the upset woman, Peter suddenly can’t resist the urge to kiss her. However, the moment he does, his spider-sense begins going haywire over a sudden and immediate threat.

This is from Hercules, who has just arrived to see a mortal kissing his wife and is not happy to see it. Hercules hits Peter so hard he is knocked through the restaurant and crashes in the alley in back. Hebe scolds Hercules for acting this way after ghosting on her for three thousand years. He tells her that they’ll talk after he deals with the mortal brazen enough to lay hands on his wife. By the time that Hercules gets into the back alley, Peter has changed into Spider-Man and sprays webbing into the demigod’s face. However, this is only a minor irritant to Herc who rips the webbing off his face like it is tissue paper. Spider-Man tells Herc that he “hid” Peter Parker as a means of protecting his secret identity. All this does is enrage Hercules even more and begins brawling with the wall-crawler in an effort to learn where Parker is.[7]

Eventually, Hebe gets between the two of them and tells Hercules to stop fighting, as Peter Parker was only being nice. What she really wants to know is what she has done wrong for him to abandon her for thousands of years. Herc gives her a “it’s not you, it’s me story”, explaining that when they were married it was shortly after his mortal death and ascension to godhood.[8] He hated being a god and being forced to look down on the mortal world. He was driven by the need to right evils and destroy monsters, that’s why he returned to the mortal world because it is a desire that cannot be tamed. Hearing all of this, Hebe slaps Hercules across the face and says that’s the exact reason why she loves him. When Hercules realizes that Hebe would never have prevented him from being the hero he is the two kiss as Spider-Man asks for help getting free from the pile of cars Hercules trapped him under.[9]

Meanwhile, Hera has had Norman Osborn arrange a meeting with her and the most powerful business people in the world. She has asked them to meet so she can tell them what Continuum is. She says that its genesis has been centuries in the making. It all started when Gaea, the Earth Goddess, was born from the chaos that came before. It was all downhill from there. During the first era of man — the golden age — humanity was created by Uranus and obeyed their god, Cronus, and knew no evil. That was until Cronus was slain by his son Zeus, leading to the first extinction.[10] During the silver age of humanity, Zeus punished humans for their lack of worship by causing a great flood. The bronze age saw the rise of Hercules, and other children of gods and mortals. This was a violent period in which wars were fought and monsters slain. War and disease caused the third extinction. She says that man now suffers through the iron age, one where war, starvation, and disease are standards in life. What was once a pure race has now become a mockery thanks to science, technology, and superheroes.

Hera then proclaims that Continuum will usher in the fourth extinction so they can wipe the slate clean and create a new world with none of the sins of the past. She then has two satry’s enter the room an enthrall her powerful guests so the can become the “marketing department” of her new vision for the world. She calls Norman Osborn a fool for thinking he could become part of this great change.

Meanwhile, Athena meets with all the gathered heroes who have come to join the fight. Seeing that it is only Hercules, Amadeus Cho, Zeus, and Hebe, she is thinks their mission is doomed to failure. Snubbing Amadeus,[11] Hercules assures Athena that they will win because he told Spider-Man of the danger they face. Just then, the web-slinger arrives with his fellow Avengers Wolverine (Logan) and Spider-Woman (Jessica Drew), who have agreed to join the fight!

Recurring Characters

Hercules, Amadeus Cho, Zeus, Athena, Hebe, Aphrodite, Amatsu-Mikaboshi, Olympus Group (Hera, Typhon), Mighty Avengers (Wasp, Quicksilver, Jocasta, US Agent), New Avengers (Spider-Man, Wolverine, Spider-Woman), May Parker, K'ythri, Sharra,

Continuity Notes

  1. Amatsu-Mikaboshi’s attack on Olympus happened in Ares #1-5. It is stated here that the attack was predicated by the fall of Asgard. At the time, Asgard had experienced Ragnarok in Thor (vol. 2) #80-85. The Asgardians have since returned, as seen in Thor (vol. 3) #1. Mikaboshi’s attack also led to the death of Zeus, who has since been resurrected as a child in Incredible Hercules #131. He will remain in as a child until Incredible Hercules #141.

  2. Hera seized control of the Olympus Group in Incredible Hercules #123. She later allied herself with Osborn in Incredible Hercules #128. The truth of Contiunnum was discovered in issue #137 of that series.

  3. Venus is a siren who was transformed into a complete being by the sorcerer that would late become known as the Ancient One. She would later take on the identity of Venus, and was often mistaken of Aphrodite due to the fact that she used the goddess’ Roman name. See Agents of Atlas #5.

  4. Amatsu-Mikaboshi has been amassing power since he aided the in destroying the Skrull gods in Incredible Hercules #117-120. His attempts at destroying all life will be chronicled primarily in Chaos War #1-5. Presumably, all the gods slain by Mikoboshi are restored following his defeat at the end of that series and we will see Sharra and K'ythri alive again in Mighty Thor (vol. 2) #15.

  5. Hebe was cast out of the Olympus Group in Incredible Hercules #129. She was found living in with the homeless by May Parker and recruited to work at FEAST in issue #135.

  6. The redhead that Peter is talking about here is Mary Jane Watson, whom he had been dating on and off for years since they first met in Amazing Spider-Man #42. Peter was even married to her at one point, as seen in Amazing Spider-Man Annual #21. However, this marriage was erased from existence in Amazing Spider-Man #545. In this new timeline he and Mary Jane were instead in a long term common-law relationship that entire time. At the time of this story, the two had broken up after Mary Jane got tired of Peter’s double life as Spider-Man, as seen in Amazing Spider-Man #605.

  7. Here, Spider-Man mentions he once defeated the Juggernaut. It’s true, although Spidey needed the wet concrete foundation at a office building construction site to do it. See Amazing Spider-Man #229-230.

  8. Hercules was originally born in mortal form and died when he was tricked into wearing a tunic laced with blood contaminated with Hydra venom. This caused him so much agony he immolated himself. Upon death, Zeus resurrected him as a god and the first thing that happened after that was being married to Hebe. This is your basic Greek mythology, but it was first depicted in fiction in Incredible Hercules #129 if you want to see all the gory details.

  9. Spider-Man jokingly compares this to the time that Doctor Octopus dropped his entire underwater base on his head. This is a reference to the iconic Amazing Spider-Man #33.

  10. Per Thor Annual #10, Gaea was the one who seeded the Earth with life and birthed every pantheon of gods that have been worshiped on the planet since. While every pantheon has their own creation myth when it comes to humans, in reality it was Gaea who fostered the evolution of mammals and, by extension, future humans following the extinction of the dinosaurs. See Iron Man Annual #10.

  11. Hercules is upset with Amadeus for seemingly abandoning him in Incredible Hercules #131. Cho did this so he could investigate what Athena knew about the death of his parents. See Incredible Hercules #133, 135, and 137.

Topical References

  • Spider-Man quips that Hercules is his favorite cartoon. The story of Hercules has been adapted in various forms over the years even in animation. The most well known version was an animated film made by Disney in 1997, which in turn spawned a cartoon series the year after. Given when this comic was originally published (2010), this is likely the version that Spider-Man is referring to. Since Marvel is owned by Disney, this reference would no longer be considered topical as it is now an instance of brand synergy.

Godmarked, Part 1: The Oldest One

Venus of the Agents of Atlas has gone missing, prompting her teammate the Uranian (Bob Grayson) to use a transponder so they can find her.[1] Following the trail in his flying saucer, Bob tracks Venus to the Golden Gate Bridge, in San Francisco. There, the siren is under the thrall of an ancient Lovercraftian horror known as Phorcys. The titanic monster created the sirens of the seas to lure men into the deep so that Phorcys can feed on them. He had long believed they had all been slain until Aphrodite’s recent conflict with Venus revealed that she was still alive.

As the Agents of Atlas — Jimmy Woo, Gorilla Man (Ken Hale), Namora, M-11, and the Uranian — arrive on the scene, Venus starts singing. This begins enthralling commuters on the bridge and they all start exiting their cars and making their way to the edge of the bridge to feed Phorcys. Atlas then springs into action to prevent Venus’ thralls from throwing themselves into the water. When Jimmy’s attempts to snap Venus out of it fails, he orders Bob to fire on Phorcys with his saucer’s most powerful weapon, a meteor smasher ray. M-11 also uses its eye beams to cut off one of the monster’s tentacles. This does little to harm or stop Phorcys, who responds to smashing the bridge.

Jimmy Woo tells his team that if they don’t figure out something fast, everyone is going to be food for this ancient god.

Recurring Characters

Agents of Atlas (Jimmy Woo, Gorilla Man, M-11, Namora, Uranian, Venus), Phorcys

Continuity Notes

  1. In his running monologue, the Uranian states that he planted this transponder after the Agents of Atlas and the X-Men fought Aphrodite. See X-Men vs Agents of Atlas #1-2.

Incredible Hercules #137

Incredible Hercules #137

Incredible Hercules #138

Incredible Hercules #138