64705678_10157722991506490_777492954360053760_o.jpg

Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Iron Man #303

Iron Man #303

Crash & Burn Part 3: Kids These Days

Three Hours Ago

In light of the recent scandals surrounding Stark International after a data breach was leaked to the media,[1] Captain America has come to meet with Tony Stark directly. After previously battles with Deathlok and Venom over all this, he is ready for another scrap.[2] However, Steve hasn’t come to fight Tony at all, but to offer his assistance. Cap has head about the troubles that Tony has had recently and understands what it is like to feel the weight of the world crashing down on you.[3]

Now

Reflecting back on this meeting, Iron Man quips that Cap had no idea. This is because at that every moment, the armored hero is pinned under tons of concrete in Nadua, Africa. With the debris around him incredibly unstable, Iron Man realizes that he can’t use his repulsors and will have to slowly dig his way out.

Three Hours Ago

During his meeting with Captain America, Tony admits that he is frustrated about the scandal his company finds itself stuck in. He points out how quickly public opinion has turned on him despite all the years of good will that he has created for himself and his company. It feels almost as like the entire world changed during the time Tony was cryogenically frozen. When Steve admits to knowing what that’s like, Tony remembers that Rogers too once spent time in suspended animation and they both have a good laugh.[4] Steve then gets serious for a moment and reveals to Tony that he is having health issues of his own, as the Super Soldier Serum in his body is breaking down and will ultimately end his career as Captain America.[5]

When Steve asks Tony how he got through the frustrations of his own health problems, Stark explains that it is the little victories that make it tolerable…..

Yesterday

Tony was out driving one of his sports cars with Veronica Benning. Veronica becomes uncomfortable since she was involved in a car accident years earlier and Tony realizes he is being insensitive.[6] When they pull over, Veronica decides to ask what the relationship between him and Bethany Cabe is about. Tony admits that he and Beth used to be lovers but assures Veronica that they are nothing more than friends now.[7]

Now

Iron Man finally digs himself out of the rubble and goes searching for survivors after the dam collapsed on them. The first person he finds is Night Thrasher, leader of the New Warriors, and the reason why they are in this mess.

Earlier

The New Warriors had come to destroy the dam constructed in Nadua because Stane International used strong-arm tactics to suppress the locals who were against its construction and its presence is an environmental risk to the region. Iron Man showed up to prevent them from doing so leading to a clash between the pair.

Three Hours Ago

Tony and Steve are now getting to talk about how old they are getting and how much things have changed since they started their crime fighting career. They wax philosophically on the need for maintaining secret identities.[8] While Steve sees protecting his true identity makes Captain America more symbolic so people focus on the message instead of the messenger. Tony believes that it is some misplaced bid for immortality much in the same way parents have children or one creates art. When making an offhand comment about franchising out his alter-ego, Cap admits that he has been seriously thinking about training someone new to take over as Captain America.[9] This amuses Tony since the last candidate, US Agent, was a disappointment.[10] Steve reminds Tony that John Walker was the goverment’s pick and this time he’ll choose someone worthy. This gets Tony to think about how he had chosen Jim Rhodes to be his successor. Although Jim is currently active as War Machine, things didn’t go exactly as Tony had planned.[11] This makes him concerned about the new generation of heroes that are turning up and how they are more impulsive and violent than they ever were.

Earlier

When the New Warriors charged at him Iron Man was ready for them. He slaps an anti-gravity device on Rage causing him to shoot up into the sky, forcing Nova to break off his attack to rescue his teammate. When Speedball comes at him, Iron Man tosses a polybond adhesive that will prevent him from bouncing around. Unfortunately, Firestar was able to get around behind him and unleash the full force of her microwave powers on him.

Three Hours Ago

Tony and Steve are wrapping up their meeting when Stark gets a call about a developing situation. Showing Steve out, he tells them that they should meet back up for dinner once he is freed up. With Cap gone, Tony heads down to his private lab where HOMER briefs him on the New Warriors attack on the Stane International hydroelectric dam that had been built in Nadua. As the computer gives him briefings on the Warrior’s current roster, Tony suits up as Iron Man and begins packing equipment to counter his opponents.

Earlier

Things took a turn from there, as Nova managed to save Rage before he floated out of the atmosphere and into the void of space. The two then launch each other at Iron Man from either side. The force from the blow is enough to compromise the structural integrity of the dam, causing it to shatter leading to Iron Man and the New Warriors being buried under tons of rubble to begin with.

Now

Iron Man has pulled Night Thrasher to safety but they still need to stabilize the damaged structure and save the New Warriors. Night Thrasher, however, says it doesn’t look like the fight is over yet. When Iron Man looks up to see what he means he sees that Thunderstrike has arrived on the scene. When Iron Man asks what he wants, Thunderstrike explains that he has come to kick Iron Man’s butt — hard!

Recurring Characters

Iron Man, New Warriors (Night Thrasher, Firestar, Nova, Speedball, Rage), Captain America, Veronica Benning, HOMER, Thunderstrike

Continuity Notes

  1. Stane International was previously Stark International, Tony’s family business. It was stolen away from him by Obadiah Stane during a hostile take over in Iron Man #173 and renamed after himself. After Obadiah’s death in Iron Man #200, the company eventually ended up in the hands of Justin Hammer who sold it back to Tony for a dollar in Iron Man #283. During its operations Stane International got involved in a lot of shady business that just came to public attention in Iron Man #300.

  2. Tony fought Deathlok and Venom in issues #301 and 302 respectively.

  3. Long story short: Tony was shot in the spine and crippled. He had an experimental bio-chip implanted there. It was hacked and his nervous system ruined by enemies. He then went into cryo-stasis for a time until a cure could be fashioned. He was thawed out but lacks full mobility at this time. See Iron Man #242, 248, 258-266, 284 and 289 for the harrowing drama. Although Tony regained most of his mobility in issue #300, he’s still shaky on his pins.

  4. Have you already forget that Captain America was famously frozen in ice in 1945 and revived in the present by the Avengers? It happened in Avengers #4.

  5. Steve discovered his Super Soldier Serum was deteriorating back in Captain America #425. His health will continue to deteriorate until he is cured in Captain America #445.

  6. In Iron Man #300, Veronica revealed that she was in a car accident at the age of 19. The crash killed her newly wed husband and put her in physio-therapy for months while recovering from her injuries. This accident was what inspired her to become a physio-therapist herself.

  7. Veronica has reason to be jealous as Tony and Bethany used to date. Their romance began shortly after they first met in Iron Man #117. However, Beth ended their relationship when her late husband, Alex, was revealed to be still alive in issue #152-153. When Alex died of a drug overdose in Iron Man #211, Beth briefly considered getting back with Tony but nothing ever came of it.

  8. At the time of this story, both Iron Man and Captain America’s identities were kept secret from the general public. The pair learned each other’s true identities back in Avengers #215-216. They will not go public until Iron Man (vol. 3) #55 and Captain America (vol. 4) #3 respectively.

  9. Cap does eventually train two individuals to carry on for him, Free Spirit and Jack Flagg. However, this doesn’t really go anywhere. See Captain America #431-443 for that pointless exercise.

  10. When the United States government wanted to re-enlist Captain America, Steve Rogers turned them down and was forced to give back his identity. It was then handed over to John Walker for a time. However, after Walker botched the whole thing, Steve took the mantle back. See Captain America #332 through 350 for the whole ordeal.

  11. Jim Rhodes had previously succeeded Tony as Iron Man during a period where Tony was spiraling deep into alcoholism and eventual recovery from Iron Man #169-195. Later, when Tony was put in cryogenic suspension in issue #284, he named Jim his successor again. When Tony revealed he was still alive in Iron Man #289, Jim was so furious that he kept his survival a secret he quit on the spot. He has been acting as War Machine independently of Tony since Avengers West Coast #94.

Topical References

  • Captain America points out to Tony that being frozen for a few weeks is not as bad as being on ice for three or four decades. This assessment of the time that Cap spent in suspended animation should be considered topical as it is relative to the date of publication. Due to the Sliding Timescale, the gulf of time between the end of World War II and the start of the Modern Age will continue to grow over time. I discuss the mathematics behind this here.

Iron Man #302

Iron Man #302

Iron Man #304

Iron Man #304