64705678_10157722991506490_777492954360053760_o.jpg

Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Iron Man (vol. 3) #77

Iron Man (vol. 3) #77

The Best Defense, Part 5: Unsuited

Undersecretary Sonny Burch has been racing to unseal as many Stark patents as possible. Now with refurbished suits of Iron Man armor, he is rushing to have them transported to their R&D team who have developed a new control helmet to operate them.[1] He insists on having them transported right away, right in the middle of a heavy air traffic. As such, the military transport will have to take its cargo out to sea before diverting back to the mainland. That’s when Commander Rayburn informs Sonny that they are still looking for the missing Kestrel drone that didn’t come back. Burch tells Rayburn to stop worrying about it as he has the situation under control.

Meanwhile, Tony Stark lost the first vote for Secretary of Defense. As he storms out of the Senate Chambers, Secretary of State Stuart Conrad pleads with Tony to go somewhere other than the press gallery as the next vote begins. Tony wonders what the point is if he’s just going to lose again. Tony is furious that Sonny Burch gets away with stealing his invention patents. He has decided that if they are going to vote him down in Congress, they’ll have to look him in the eye while they are doing it.

When Tony enters the gallery to watch the proceedings Senator Joe Zimmer is giving his reason for being against Tony Stark’s appointment. He says Tony Stark is unfit for being responsible for the safety of their troops by citing the employees that have died on Tony Stark’s watch, one of whom was his brother Abe Zimmer, whose death remains unexplained.[2]

That’s when Tony gets a call from John Rayburn, without revealing his identity, he tells Tony about how Sonny Burch has set up a new missile defense system around Washington, DC. This launcher is based on Tony’s original armor’s threat resolution system and is wired into the FAA grid. However, the software keep glitching out and could mistake a transponder failure as a threat. What’s more, a stealth drone has stopped responding to their recall commands due to a conflict between Stark and Oscorp technology. He is about to tell Tony about the refurbished suits of armor when John is caught by Buch himself. Sonny is furious and punches Rayburn in the face, making him drop his cell phone, ending his call with Tony. That’s when one of the soldiers trying to find the drone have just picked it up on radar.

What happens next is a perfect storm of everything Tony was hoping to prevent. The Kesstrel drone ends up crashing into the transport carrying the suits of Iron Man armor. This takes out the pilots and sends debris into the plane’s turbines causing it to fall out of the sky. This is observed by Rumiko Fujikawa who is aboard a commercial airliner leaving the country. Seeing the military transport going down, she immediately calls Tony. This also knocks out the transponder and because of terrorist threat levels, NORAD to scramble fighters. In a panic over what to do next, the FAA orders all air traffic cleared from the sky. It’s just at that moment that a technician finally gets the missile defense system up and running. The moment she does, it targets the military transport and fires. With countless lives on the line, Sonny Birch begins to panic. Seeing this as the end of his political aspirations, Sonny takes the coward’s way out. Grabbing an officer’s side arm, Sonny runs into another room and shoots himself in the head.

It’s then that Tony gets the call from Rumiko, and she tells him about the fighter planes being scrambled the transport out of the sky, and the missiles that is heading for them as well. Tony realizes that only he — as Iron Man — can stop this from turning into a massive tragedy. Tony then realizes he left the briefcase on the floor of Congress. As everyone starts getting calls about about the crisis that is unfolding, Tony leaps down from the gallery to the floor of congress, grabs his briefcase. Outside, Stu asks Tony what he is going to do. Stark admits that he doesn’t know and takes to the air.

Recurring Characters

Iron Man, Stuart Conrad, Sonny Burch, John Rayburn, Rumiko Fujikawa, Marcia Donelson

Continuity Notes

  1. After Tony revealed his identity to the public in Iron Man (vol. 3) #55, Sonny Burch found a loophole in the law that allowed him to unseal top secret patents of Tony’s old weapons designs. See Iron Man (vol. 3) #73.

  2. Joe Zimmer mentions a number of employees who died on Tony Stark’s watch:

    • Kevin O’Brien: First seen in Iron Man #31, he became close friends with Tony, who built him a suit of armor. As the Guardsman, Kevin was driven mad by an improper neural interface in his armor and died fighting Tony in Iron Man #46.

    • Abe Klein: A former teacher of Tony Stark who came to work for Stark International in Iron Man #82. He sacrificed his life to help Iron Man liberate the company from Mordecai Midas in Iron Man #108.

    • Morley Erwin: First seen working for Stark International in Iron Man #168. He left the company when it was taken over by Obadiah Stane in issue #173. He helped Tony form Circuits Maximus in Iron Man #186. When Stane later blew up the company, Morley was killed in the blast. See Iron Man #199.

    • Abe Zimmer: Abe was first seen working for Stark Enterprises in Iron Man #219. After the company was sold to the Fujikawa corporation in Iron Man #329, Abe sacrificed his life to destroy Tony’s surpluse Iron Man armor in the following issue.

Topical References

  • This story was written during the early days of the War on Terror and the US invasions of Iraq and Afghanistan that were in response to the September 11, 2001, terrorist attacks. As such, a lot of the attitudes and depictions of the United States government are influenced by this particular point in time. While these themes are merely implied, they should be considered topical.

  • The transport plane that Sonny Burch wants the Iron Man armor transported on is depicted as a Lockheed C-5 Galaxy. It is also referenced as having been using during the Vietnam War. These aircraft first started being used in 1968. While they are still being used today, they will eventually be retired and as such this is a topical reference.

  • One of the reporters identifies himself as being from NBC News. This should be considered topical as this is a real world TV network. Oddly, he is holding a C-SPAN microphone, this wouldn’t be considered topical as this is a publicly funded network.

  • Of the places Stuart Conrad suggests they go, he recommends Hooters. Hooters was a chain of restaurants known for its scantily clad female serving staff. This is a topical reference as this is a real world business.

  • The cell phones in this story are depicted as a flip phones with physical push buttons and an antenna to pick up a signal. This should be considered topical as this style of phone is obsolete.

  • While transporting the Iron Man suits, one of the pilots on the Galaxy quips that you’ll soon be able to buy them at Best Buy. Best Buy is a chain of electronics stores. Its reference here should be considered topical as it is a real world business.

  • It is stated that NORAD is scrambling F-16 fighters. While these fighter planes are still in use they are slowly being replaced and will eventually be retired. As such this should be considered a topical reference.

  • When panicking about the accident, one of the military brass tells Sonny Birch that it is too late to screen the movie Airport ‘75. Airport 1975 is a disaster movie. The plot to the film is very similar to the situation that plays out in this story. Since this is a specific reference to an older movie, as opposed to a joke or a pop-culture reference this wouldn’t necessarily be a topical reference as there isn’t really a contemporary example that could be used in its place.

Iron Man (vol. 3) #76

Iron Man (vol. 3) #76

Iron Man (vol. 3) #78

Iron Man (vol. 3) #78