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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Irredeemable Ant-Man #2

Irredeemable Ant-Man #2

Shock & Awe

Now

Eric O’Grady, the new Ant-Man, has asked a woman out on a date after saving her from a mugging. As they sit down to order, Eric admits that he lost his wallet while saving a little girl from a burning building. Grateful for the rescue, the woman — named Beth — says dinner is on her, but only asks for water for herself when Eric orders an expensive bottle of whine and oysters as an appetizer. Eventually, Beth asks how Eric became Ant-Man and he tells her it is a long story…

Six Months Ago

While on security duty aboard the SHIELD helicarrier, Eric O’Grady’s friend Chris McCarthy tried on the new Ant-Man suit being developed by SHIELD and ended up getting stuck at ant-size.[1] He had just overheard Eric lie to his girlfriend Veronica that Eric had been cheating on her. Chris is furious that his best friend would stab him in the back like that and vows to kill him when he gets the chance. Needing to step up his travel speed, Chris figures out how to activate the suit’s mechanical “ant legs”, allowing him to travel much faster through the helicarrier’s ventilation system. He ends up in the kitchen and realizes that he is starving and stops to get something to eat. The “ant legs” are equipped with a laser that allows him to cut into a can of beans and he at least manages to retract the suit’s face plate so he can eat. As he gorges on a single bean, Chris admits that there are some advantages to being the size of an ant.

Two Days Later

Veronica King was led to believe that Chris was selected for a secret SHIELD mission. After a shift on monitor duty, Veronica asks Eric if he has heard anything from him. He tells her that he hasn’t heard anything and then has the audacity to ask her out again. Veronica turns him down once more and tells him to keep her informed if he hears anything from Chris. O’Grady promises and then ends up bumping into his superior officer, Mitch Carson. Carson has been keeping the Ant-Man situation under wraps from the higher ups and wants to know if O’Grady has found Chris yet. Luckily, everyone is too busy with deprogramming Wolverine after he was brainwashed by Hydra to pay much notice that the suit has gone missing.[2] Mitch pressures Eric to find Chris as he refuses to lose his job over this.

That’s when the alarm begins going off as the SHIELD helicarrier is attacked by Hydra. This assault is led by Elektra (Natchios) who is storming the SHIELD base with an army of supervillains. As Mitch rushes off to help defend the helicarrier, he orders O’Grady to keep looking for Chris.[3]

Meanwhile, Chris has gotten lost in the ventilation system and becomes aware of the attack when the helicarrier is rocked by the opening salvo. Looking out a vent, he sees two SHIELD agents pinned down by two of the invaders. Having figured out how to use the Ant-Man’s suit offensive “ant legs” he leaps out and tries blasting the villains in the back of the head. While the pain causes them to think they’re being gassed and they flee the room. The recoil from these blasts knocks Chris onto the floor pretty hard. As he is rubbing his head, he somehow manages to trigger the size-changing function of the suit and finally returns to his normal height. Unfortunately, he doesn’t have long to celebrate this victory as he is chased off by more villains. When his escape route is cut off by two more invaders, Chris manages to trigger the shrinking function and disappears from sight.

Finally out of the vents, Chris is able to make it back to his quarters where Eric has gone to hide like a coward. When Chris enters the room, Eric attacks him with a shoe until he realizes who he is after Chris takes off his helmet. After getting McCarthy up to speed on what’s going on, he suggests they hide out until the attack is over so nobody will see Chris in the Ant-Man suit. However, as they open the door, two more villains rip into through the hallway and begin shooting at them. As they try to flee, Chris is shot in the back of the head. Dying, McCarthy’s dying words are condemnation as he still can’t believe that Chris lied to Veronica.

As the fighting onboard intensifies, Eric decides to put on the Ant-Man. As the helicarrier begins to crash, O’Grady cowardly shrinks down to ant-size in an effort to avoid getting killed in the crash. He manages to survive and as he stumbles around the wreckage he discovers many dead, dying, and injured SHIELD agents. He is shocked to discover Nick Fury among the injured, which comes as a surprise to O’Grady.[4]

Now

Eric’s dinner date has come to an end, and he has finished telling his tale. However, instead of telling it like it really happened, he has made-up a bullshit story about how he became Ant-Man after Chris was killed fighting Doctor Doom. This gets sympathy from Beth and she agrees to share a cab ride back home. When they arrive at her apartment, she invites him up for tea. When Eric pays the fare, Beth asks how he had the money when he claimed he lost his wallet. O’Grady lies again, telling her that he found a stray bill or two in his pocket. As they head up to Beth’s apartment, she makes a point to say that they are only having tea, and this isn’t a hook-up.

Meanwhile, a SHIELD unit arrives at the scene where Ant-Man had stopped the mugging earlier that night. Among them is Mitch Carson — who now has a horrific scar down one half of his face[5]. They confirm that Ant-Man was just at this location and Carson vows to kill Eric O’Grady for what he has done.

Recurring Characters

Ant-Man, SHIELD (Nick Fury, Dum Dum Dugan, Mitch Carson, Chris McCarthy, Veronica King), Hydra (Elektra), Beth

Continuity Notes

  1. All of this stuff happened last issue, where were you?

  2. This story takes place during the Enemy of the State storyline as seen in Wolverine (vol. 3) #20-25.

  3. This attack by Hydra is chronicled in Wolverine (vol. 3) #27. For clarification: Around the date of publication (January, 2007), Elektra had been replaced with a Skrull impostor (as detailed in Mighty Avengers #16). However, this flashback is chronologically set before Elektra was swapped out with the Skrull, as such this is the real Elektra.

  4. This is because, as we learned last issue, O’Grady thought Nick Fury was a myth. For clarification: Around the date of publication, Nick Fury had gone underground after it was revealed that he staged an illegal invasion of Latveria in Secret War #1-5. While SHIELD employed LMD’s of Fury (starting in Marvel Team-Up (vol. 3) #13) to cover up his disappearance from the general public. That said, the flashback in this story is chronologically set months prior to Fury going AWOL, as such this is the real Nick Fury.

  5. It’s later revealed in Irredeemable Ant-Man #6 that Mitch’s face got horribly burned in a fight with O’Grady.

Topical References

  • Eric and Beth’s cab fare s $10, which seems reasonable for 2007 when this story was originally published. This should be considered topical as cab fares have continued to increase since then and $10 probably wouldn’t get you very far today.

Irredeemable Ant-Man #1

Irredeemable Ant-Man #1

Irredeemable Ant-Man #3

Irredeemable Ant-Man #3