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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Marvel Knights: Spider-Man #16

Marvel Knights: Spider-Man #16

Wild Blue Yonder Part Four

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The Absorbing Man and his female companion have just fled a botched attempt to assassinate for the Punisher on behalf of the Owl. When they arrive at their employer’s office headquarters, they discover an army of rival mobsters shooting at the building. It takes about 10 minutes for the Absorbing Man to clear out the attackers, the Owl expresses his dissatisfaction that they haven’t eliminated everyone on his hit list. Meeting with Carl Creel’s female companion, the Owl decides to pull the plug on the operation since those he wanted to eliminate are getting wise to him. When she asks what they should do about the Absorbing Man, who is a loose cannon addicted to drugs, the Owl comes up with a quick solution. When she gives the Absorbing Man his drugs and he starts snorting them, he takes on the properties of that drug. That’s when men with fans enter the room and blast him with air causing his drug-like substance to get spread all over the room. Work crews quickly scrape all the remains out of the room which are packaged. The Owl is impressed that the Absorbing Man created two cart fulls of drugs which he can then sell on the black market and make enough money to defend himself against any revenge schemes.

Meanwhile, at the Daily Bugle, Peter Parker is catching up with Laurie Layton, a former classmate who is now working as a science reporter for the newspaper. She’s shocked to hear that Peter married Mary Jane Watson, considering her the “enemy” of the type of people they were in high school.[1] Peter is able to read between the lines and figures out that part of the reason she returned to New York was in the hopes of trying to hook up with Peter. Peter makes sure that Laurie isn’t going to be a threat to his marriage and tells her that he’ll see her around. Peter then goes to one of the supply closets where he waits for Ethan Edwards — a super-human working for the Bugle that figured out Peter is Spider-Man. Peter has agreed to teach Ethan how to be a proper hero. As they change into costume, Spider-Man learns that Ethan doesn’t know the full limit of his powers and decides they need to find that out.

Spider-Man brings Ethan — now calling himself Virtue — to the headquarters of the Fantastic Four so that Mister Fantastic can examine Ethan and learn the full extent of his powers. As Spider-Man tries to explain how naive Virtue is, Ethan pretty much explains himself when he says his powers were a gift from God. Mister Fantastic understands what the web-slinger was trying to explain and soon they begin running some tests. A strength of his test verifies that Virtue is about as strong as the Thing, that he can see how many fingers the Invisible Woman is holding behind her back while invisible, and he can match the flight speeds of the Human Torch. Virtue then demonstrates his ability to heal the sick and injured by using his powers to revive some roses that have wilted away. Needing to get more information, Reed does a cheek swab so he can run a DNA test on Virtue and says he’ll have the results soon enough. That’s when a bunch of flying ants form a message from Hank Pym in the sky, telling Spider-Man that they have located his stolen wallet. Soon, Spider-Man and Virtue ambush the woman who had been assisting the Absorbing Man as she and some of the Owl’s goons are selling the drugs made from Creel’s body. Virtue surprises Spider-Man when he suddenly has the power to fire beams of energy from his hands. When the woman threatens to reveal Peter’s secret identity, Spider-Man webs her mouth shut. The web-slinger threatens her by saying that if she even utters his name he can have SHIELD agents make her disappear forever. That’s when a news van arrives, prompting Spider-Man to tell Virtue to take off since he’s not wearing. Unfortunately, as Spider-Man is dealing with the reporters, the woman gets away. Chasing after her he discovers something worse, that the news crew managed to get a shot of Vritue’s face and it is being broadcast on live television.

Returning to the roof of the Daily Bugle, Spider-Man tries to warn Ethan — who is now out of costume — about his face being broadcast on television. After Peter changes into his street clothes and they take the elevator down to the Bugle Bullpen, Ethan assures Peter that his identity is safe since nobody will recognize him out of costume because he’s wearing glasses. When the elderly woman riding the elevator with him fails to recognize him, Edwards is convinced he’s right. However, this is not the case when they get out of the elevator and find a throng of reporters waiting to interview him. While Ethan is evading the press, Laurie Layton tells Peter that he has a phone call. It turns out to be Reed Richards, who tells Peter that he has finished examining Ethan’s DNA.[2] Reed was curious to learn of Ethan’s origins he and the rest of the Fantastic Four traveled to Iowa where they have found the ship that brought Ethan to Earth and Reed knows exactly where Edwards comes from. Reed quickly warns Peter that Ethan Edwards is actually a Skrull. His father was a scientist who sent his son to Earth aboard the craft when the Skrull homeworld was being devoured by Galactus.[3] He biologically engineered his son to have super-human powers, much like the Super-Skrull for the sole purpose of having his son conquer the Earth.

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, Virtue, Absorbing Man, Laurie Layton, Fantastic Four (Mister Fantastic, Invisible Woman, Human Torch, Thing), Owl

Continuity Notes

  1. Peter and Mary Jane are identified as married in this story. However, not long after this, their marriage is erased from existence by Mephisto in Amazing Spider-Man #545. In the new timeline, Peter would tell Laurie that he is engaged to Mary Jane as opposed to being married to her.

  2. Mister Fantastic and the rest of the Fantastic Four have known Peter Parker is Spider-Man ever since Peter decided to finally reveal his identity to them in Spider-Man/Human Torch #5.

  3. The destruction of the Skrull homeworld occurred in Fantastic Four #256. Per the Sliding Timescale, this would make Ethan probably around 5 years old at the time of this story. Skrulls sure grow up fast!

Marvel Knights: Spider-Man #15

Marvel Knights: Spider-Man #15

Marvel Knights: Spider-Man #17

Marvel Knights: Spider-Man #17