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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Marvel Mystery Comics #35

Marvel Mystery Comics #35

Air Raid Terror

The Human Torch and Toro are vacationing in Canada when their train is attacked by Nazi bombers led by the evil Von Belch. The two flaming heroes go into action, driving back the bombers forcing them to retreat. Investigating some of the bomb shells, they note that they are made out of good quality aluminum, leaving them to wonder where the Nazis came from and where they supply themselves.

Going to a nearby Canadian city, they inform the authorities over what they witnessed when suddenly the area is attacked by the Nazi bombers, setting off the air raid sirens. During the fight, the Torch and Toro set Von Belch's plane ablaze but are forced to break off the attack when the Torch is knocked out of the sky, forcing Toro to rescue him. Finding a note dropped by Von Belch calling himself the "Canadian Fuhrer" and warning he will return the Torch and Toro follow after his burning plane in the dark night sky.

The trail leads them to a Nazi camp just past the Canada/US border, where they find a small army of Nazis who are using aluminum products made in the United States to melt down into weapons casings. The Torch and Toro easily take down the Nazis and then turn them over to the RCMP.

Recurring Characters

Human Torch, Toro, Nazis

The Mystery of the Missing Cargo Ships

Inside the main office of the Von Gotch Shipping Company, employees bring a newspaper with a headline story about the most recent ship they loaded sinking in the Atlantic without any sign of attack. This makes the company owner, Von Gotch—a Nazi spy—laugh with joy as everything is going according to plan.

Meanwhile, the United States military is puzzled and determined to learn the reason why their ships are sinking and send a call out to the Sub-Mariner for assistance. Reading about the military's call to aid, the Sub-Mariner swims out to sea to the area where the most recent ship sank. There he finds a lone sailor floating on a table. Before the sailor dies, he tells the Sub-Mariner that two days out to sea their cargo suddenly shifted causing the boat to sink. Realizing that this is the means in which the ships are being sank, the Sub-Mariner returns to New York. There he disguises himself as a normal man and seeks to get a job with the Von Gotch Shipping Company. Landing the job, Namor meets with Von Gotch and recognizes his face from somewhere, but cannot place him.

On the job, when sailors try to bar Namor and the others from boarding the ship because it isn't safe, he fights his way through and convinces them to load up the ship anyway, much to the satisfaction of Von Gotch as he intends to sink the next ship. When Namor realizes that they are loading the ships cargo to be top heavy and easily shifted, he brings it up to his fellow workers. Von Gotch realizes that the Sub-Mariner knows too much and orders his men to eliminate him. Namor puts up a good fight but is out numbered and easily knocked out. Von Gotch has his men place Namor into a crate and they seal it with concrete before tossing it into the ocean. Cracks in the concrete allow water to seep inside and revitalize Namor. Breaking free, he realizes that he has been encased in concrete for over a day.

Speeding out to stop the ship, Namor arrives just as the cargo begins to shift threatening to make the boat sink. Quick thinking and with super-strength Namor saves the ship from being capsized by redistributing the cargo. He then rushes back to the mainland where he catches Von Gotch and his men and rounds them up for the authorities.

Recurring Characters

Sub-Mariner, Nazis

Tunnel To China

Continued from last issue...

Jimmy Jupiter finally has found his way to China. There he is warned by a local from the coming of a dragon. To Jimmy's surprise a massive black fire-breathing dragon begins to chase him. Jimmy flees into the woods where he is spooked by his friend Wump Jump. Happy to see his friend, he learns that Wump Jump comes from China and came back to visit his family. He tells Jimmy that the Black Dragons that he encountered are the only dragons left that know how to breathe fire and they have been terrorizing everyone in China. Jimmy also learns that Wump Jump suffers from hay fever, and when the dragon sneezes smoke comes out of his nose.

They go to the house where Wump Jump's parents live and they offer the boy some tea. When an army of Black Dragons head toward Wump Jump's home to destroy it, Jimmy gets an idea on how to stop them. Grabbing a bunch of ragweed, he throws it in the faces of Wump Jump and his parents causing them to sneeze. As they sneeze fire spews from their noses causing the Black Dragons to suddenly melt, revealing tiny soldiers made out of cocoa butter who also begin to melt.

Just then Jimmy is awoken by his mother who tosses water in his face, telling him he's fallen asleep in the sun and now has a sunburn.

Recurring Character

Jimmy Jupiter, Wump Jump

Continuity Notes

  • As per Captain America (Vol. 6) #1-5, Jimmy Jupiter had the power to travel to a parallel dimension called “Nowhere”, a place where his imagination could become reality. As such, the depiction of China in this story is (obviously) not the real country, but a version of it that is a product of Jimmy’s imagination in the Nowhere dimension.

The Great Astro

The Great Astro, a radio fortune teller and stargazer begins warning his listening audience that ships will sink; surprisingly his predictions come true. Finding them curious, press agents Jeff Mace, Mary Morgan and Jack Casey decide to pay Astro a visit and interview him for the paper. As they arrive a storm begins to roll in and the Great Astro invites them in for his next broadcast.

After checking his telescope, he begins reporting to the listening audience that the stars tell that tankers will be sunk. Realizing that the stars could not be visible during a storm, Jeff knocks the Great Astro aside and terminates his broadcast. Jeff is winged by a bullet shot by Astro and his minions take Jeff, Jack and Mary prisoner, chaining them to a wall in another room. With Jack and Mary knocked out, Jeff breaks free of his bonds and changes into the Patriot and goes after the Great Astro.

The Patriot gets the drop on the Great Astro and his men and knocks Astro and his men out. Realizing that Astro's telescope has a great view of New York Harbor and that he has been signaling a Nazi U-Boat, the Patriot realizes how Astro made his "predictions". The Patriot then forces one of Astro's men to signal the U-Boat into a trap and it is soon sunk by an American ship that is tipped off by the Patriot. With Mary and Jack free and coming to see what's going on, he Patriot slips away to change back into Jeff Mace to protect his double identity.

Recurring Characters

Patriot, Mary Morgan, Jack Casey

Garden of Death

In the Andes, mad botanist Kametin has created yet another man eating plant in his Garden of Death. He and his minion Kixor then go out into the village to find a fresh victim to feed to his killer plant. After they feed it a fresh victim, Kametin orders Kixor to follow him out to find yet another victim.

At this time, the Vision is drawn to this location to capture Kametin, and poses as another possible victim and allows himself to get captured. Also that night, Kametin and his minion capture a young woman as well and both she and the Vision are brought back to Kametin's castle. There they both revive in a dungeon and the Vision helps free them from their bonds. When Kixor comes down to collect them to feed to the killer plant, the Vision gets the drop on him and knocks him out.

The pair travel through the castle looking for Kametin, and they find him in a greenhouse bringing another killer plant to life. When the Vision attempts to attack Kametin, his plants attempt to stop him with their vines, but the hero's female companion uses a gardening shovel to break the hero loose. When Ixtor attempts to stop the Vision from capturing his master, a vine from one of the plants wraps around his neck and strangles him to death.

The Vision chases Kametin through his property, however the villain trips and falls into the maw of one of his own killer plants before the hero can capture him. With Kametin's death, the Vision leaves the villagers telling them that they are safe, but he will return should they ever need him again.

Recurring Characters

Vision

Monkey Business

As Terry Vance and Deadline Dawson are fishing on the pier, Dr. Watson gets bored and decides to do a little exploring. He spots an organ grinder with his female monkey named Gertie and is instantly smitten by the female ape. Seeing her give her master a mysterious capsule, Dr. Watson follows her as she goes to get information out of an office. Stopping her, he manages to woo her and warns her against blindly following her masters wishes as he might be getting her to steal sensitive information for spies.

Returning back to the organ grinder, Gertie listens to Dr. Watson and betrays her master, fleeing with the information she has stolen. The two apes bring the information to Terry Vance who is shocked to find that they are defense plans for the Panama Canal. Confronted by the organ grinder, both Terry and Deadline Dawson easily knock him out and learn that he is working for a Nazi spy named Felix von Shlecht who is staying in the penthouse of the Spillane Hotel. Deciding to lead Felix into a trap, Terry begins planning.

He sends Gertie to deliver the plans while he sends Dr. Watson in his remote control plane to get the drop on von Shlecht before he can get his hands on the plans. This plot works out well, and Dr. Watson knocks out the Nazi spy with a wrench to the head. After von Shlecht and the organ grinder are turned over to the authorities, Gertie becomes sad that she has nowhere to live. However Terry cheers her up by telling her that the police department is going to adopt her as their mascot.

Recurring Characters

Terry Vance, Doctor Watson, Deadline Dawson

The Banquet of Blood

A small ocean town is terrorized by a vampire that comes out at night to capture its citizens. One night when the creature attacks a lone woman walking in the night, some men come to her rescue, forcing the creature to flee. Also out looking for the vampire is the Angel who catches it as it is attacking an old man. Fighting the creature, the Angel is knocked backward into a lamp post and strikes his head, knocking him out. Unconscious, the hero is taken to the vampire's castle home to be feasted upon later.

Brought to the basement where his other prisoners have been kept, the vampire turns his back on the Angel long enough for the hero to get to his feet and attack again. Outmatched this time around, the vampire flees and lets out that he must return to his coffin before sunrise. Realizing the vampire's weakness, the Angel frees the other captives and rallies them to help hunt down the vampire and prevent it from getting to its coffin.

The Angel finds the creature's coffin in an upper parapet of the castle, and when the vampire attempts to enter its coffin the Angel gets in its way. Their fight carries on until the dawn and when the suns rays strike the creature it begins to die, transforming back into its original form. The Angel recognizes the vampire as Count Vicaro, a tyrant who ruled over the region three hundred years ago. As Vicaro dies once more, the Angel places him in his coffin and sets it on fire.

With the rise of a new day, the victims of Vicaro the vampire are released and are more than happy to be alive.

Recurring Characters

Angel

Marvel Mystery Comics #34

Marvel Mystery Comics #34

Marvel Mystery Comics #36

Marvel Mystery Comics #36