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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Marvel Team-Up #87

Marvel Team-Up #87

The Razor's Edge!

It is a Monday morning as Thomas Agar, a business executive of ill repute, fields reporters' questions outside a federal courthouse in Manhattan. Rumor has it that his company, Agar Ores, has swindled more than $500 million from Wakanda in a tungsten ore deal. Allegedly, the ore that Agar delivered was of a much lower grade than Wakanda had purchased, so the United States Department of Justice has summoned Agar to a preliminary hearing. As Agar smugly evades the questions, Peter Parker takes photographs for the Daily Bugle. No one notices the shadowy figure, dressed in a Black Panther costume, observing the proceedings from a treetop vantage point. Suddenly he leaps down and grabs the businessman, shouting that the "Black Panther" has come for revenge. When Peter interferes, the man punches him in the jaw, and it is only Peter's superhuman strength that keeps him from being crippled. Then a helicopter arrives overhead and a rope ladder descends. Carrying Agar, the figure climbs up and the helicopter flies away.

Those who trifle with Wakanda, he says, do so at their peril. Peter is helped to his feet by the other reporters, and then he hurries off, explaining that he has to rush his photographs in for the late edition. Actually, he needs a place to change into his Spider-Man costume, and after he does, he web-swings toward the East Side after the helicopter. He knows that as an Avenger and ruler of Wakanda, the Black Panther would never kidnap anyone: He soon catches up to the aircraft, but the pilot spots him and alerts the panther-garbed kidnapper, who starts shooting with a gun that fires razor-sharp missiles. One of them slices through the web-strand holding Spider-Man, who breaks his fall with a flagpole that springs hum onto the roof of a passing truck. By the time he comes to rest, the helicopter is gone, so he angrily heads for the Wakandan Consulate. Meanwhile, at the Consulate, the real Black Panther is in the conference with two aides. He says that Wakanda must not be made to look foolish before the world by being taken advantage of by Thomas Agar. The aides advise him that Washington is already looking into the matter, but the Panther replies that Wakanda is a young and vulnerable nation that cannot afford to place its welfare in the hands of a foreign government, even the United States. There are surely others, he continues, who are plotting to take advantage of Wakandan inexperience in international affairs.

As the Panther turns to look through a window. Spider-Man stealthily webs up the aides behind him. When the Panther turns around, Spider-Man accuses him of committing crimes under the cloak of diplomatic immunity. Of course, the Panther hasn't the faintest idea what Spider-Man is talking about, and he responds by accusing Spider-Man of trespassing on Wakandan territory. They have a brief skirmish, which ends when the Panther slams Spider-Man into a desk, shattering it. They must have a talk, says the Panther. Then Spider-Man asks about Agar's kidnapping, but the Panther is surprised to learn that Agar has been abducted. He says that he would never be involved in such a thing and that he had already asked the United Nations to intervene in the Agar case. Then the Panther sees a group of armed men wearing police department armbands advancing on his embassy. Barring their way is Aubrey Pearson of the United States State Department, who demands to know who authorized the action. Pearson's questions go unanswered as a costumed figure named Hellrazor approaches and says that today the Black Panther shall pay for his "crimes." Then Hellrazor shouts at the embassy windows, demanding that the "kidnapper" come out. The Panther emerges, saying that he has nothing to hide. He does not know Hellrazor, he says, and he is furious that the name of Wakanda is being dragged through the mud. When the Panther leaps toward Hellrazor, the troopers advance, but Pearson holds them back, saying that they cannot enter sovereign Wakandan soil. The battle carries the Panther and Hellrazor into the building.

When Hellrazor opens fire with razor-missiles, the Panther is shielded with a spider web. Spider-Man webs up Hellrazor's hands, but the criminal quickly cuts free and fires another volley of razors, declaring that he is "completely kineto-synthetic"—able to draw upon an energy source to continuously replenish his strength and stamina. Spider-Man cannot quite place Hellrazor's voice, and as he momentarily hesitates, a volley of razors hits him in the abdomen. He falls to the floor, and Hellrazor declares him dead. The Panther vows to make Hellrazor pay for both murdering Spider-Man and masquerading as the Panther. Hellrazor, thinking he will kill the Panther shortly, admits to being Agar's kidnapper. But when he tries to use his razor, he discovers to his surprise that his shooters are gone. Then Spider-Man stands up with the shooters in his hands. A glob of hardened web-fluid wound his waist kept Helirazor's weapon from harming him and when he fell and brushed against the criminal, he quickly removed the shooters. Weaponless, Hellrazor surrenders and smugly asks to be read his rights, but the Panther simply punches him in the jaw and knocks him out. He is the law here, he declares. He will soon find out whom Hellrazor is working for and why. Thomas Agar confidently turns off the newscast when he hears that Prince T'Challa of Wakanda has been brought in for questioning. When he hears a door slam shut behind him, he thinks Hellrazor has entered. He congratulates him on a job well done and asks how he would like to be paid. But when Agar turns around, the Black Panther demands a certified check for $500 million. Then the Panther tells Agar to get his coat because there are a lot of people who want to talk to him. Elsewhere, a man named Gamelin emerges from his shower.

His aide informs him that the Agar plan has failed and that Agar has been arrested. Gamelin takes this news in stride, saying that Agar is a good man who will keep their name out of it. He will need a pension when he gets out of prison. This part of the plan to discredit Wakanda is over, he continues. They did not expect to get Wakanda's vibranium this time anyway, and it is enough that Wakanda did not get the tungsten and has been linked with terrorism. Gamelin dresses and then declares that Wakandan vibranium will soon be theirs. It is just a matter of time, he says as he sits down under the emblem of the sinister Roxxon Corporation.

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, Black Panther, Roxxon Oil (John Gamelin, Hellrazor), Aubrey Pearson

Marvel Team-Up #86

Marvel Team-Up #86

Marvel Team-Up #88

Marvel Team-Up #88