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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Mighty Avengers #33

Mighty Avengers #33

Mighty/Dark, Part 2: Deux Ex Machinations

After months of manipulation, Loki has finally orchestrated a battle between the Mighty and Dark Avengers. To do so, he freed the Absorbing Man (Carl “Crusher” Creel) from Project PEGASUS and led him to fragments of the Cosmic Cube that were being stored there.[1] Now both teams — consisting of the Wasp (Hank Pym), Quicksilver (Pietro Maximoff), Hercules, US Agent (John Walker), Stature (Cassie Lang), the Vision (Jonas), and Iron Patriot (Norman Osborn), Ms. Marvel (Karla Sofen aka Moonstone in disguise), Spider-Man (Mac Gargan, aka Venom), Hawkeye (actually Bullseye), Wolverine (his son, Daken, in disguise), and the Sentry (Bob Reynolds) respectively — are now up against a foe with the power to make anything a reality.

To make matters worse, the obvious animosity between the two Avengers teams makes working together a near impossibility. This is particularly so given that the Wasp is undermining Iron Patriot’s authority. Pym points out to the group that while the Absorbing Man has the properties of the Cosmic Cube, this power requires the proper shape (a cube) to work properly. He suggests that this threat can easily be dealt with by the Sentry. Although Osborn reserves the mentally ill hero for special circumstances he is forced to agree that using Bob is the best strategy. While the Sentry attacks Creel, Osborn contacts the HAMMER records department to get intel on the Absorbing Man, Project PEGASUS, and the Cube in order to spin the situation in his favor.

His transmission, however, is picked up by Amadeus Cho back at the Avengers Infinite Mansion. Cho loads up on sugary snacks brought to him by Jarvis so he can maintain the mental energy needed to outsmart Norman. He redirects the this intel to Hank so he can formulate a plan of his own. Pym looks forward to trying to figure out the science behind the Asgardian magic that grants Creel his powers.

Unfortunately, the situation starts spiraling out of control when the Absorbing Man figures out a way to split the Sentry and his dark half, the Void.[2] The two begin fighting one another, taking the strongest hero on the scene out of the fight. Osborn orders Ms. Marvel to help the Sentry back together using her skills as a psychologist. However, when she gets too close she is literally punched back into her Moonstone identity.[3][4]

By this time, both Osborn and Pym have learned that the properties taken by the Absorbing Man are also transferred to his enchanted ball-and-chain. It now becomes a race to get to this weapon in the ruins of Project PEGASUS as it now has the power of a Cosmic Cube. Hank orders Amadeus to send him blue prints to the facility in the hopes he can beat Norman to the enchanted weapon. While Cho does as he is asked, Jocasta — the Avengers robotic assistant — tries to warn Amadeus and Jarvis that she is sensing anomalous software trying to install itself in her systems. They ignore her because they are too busy watching developments on the screen. While they aren’t looking, Jocasta suddenly becomes taken over by her creator, Ultron who proclaims that he is alive.[5]

Meanwhile, the Dark Avengers’ “Spider-Man” gets struck by Absorbing Man next. This causes him to be separated from his symbiote and reverted back to his Scorpion identity.[6] This is caught by news crews on the scene who are recording everything that is transpiring. The symbiote itself begins trying to graft itself to Quicksilver who radios Jocasta for advice on how to stop it.[7] Jocasta snaps back under control with no memory of being compromised by Ultron and tells Pietro that symbiotes are vulnerable to sound. This works for Pietro who runs fast enough to create a sonic boom that repels the alien parasite. By this time, Hercules tires hurling the Vision in his diamond hard form at Absorbing Man. While this temporarily shatters Creel’s arm, he is able to restore it instantly. Exposure to the cosmic radiations emanating from their foe, the Vision is split into two parts: The original Vision and Iron Lad.[8]

Inside Project PEGASUS, the race to the Cosmic Ball-and-Chain ends in a stand-off between the Iron Patriot and the Wasp. Osborn is about to touch the cube and use it to alter reality to his whims. That’s when Pym quickly tells him that he already did it two minutes earlier and that this reality — one where Osborn is in charge of the world — could never come to pass had he not used the cube.[9] This causes Osborn to pause long enough for Pym to suddenly shoot up to giant-size, knocking the Iron Patriot away from the Cube. He then seizes the chain he can finally set things right.

Things outside are looking bleak until the Wasp emerges from the facility and begins attacking the Absorbing Man with his own weapon. While back inside, Norman Osborn struggles with his sanity as his Green Goblin persona mocks him for being a coward. With his hold on reality slipping, he is visited by Loki who offers him the sword Spellbreaker, which can break any spell, including the enchantment that gave Creel his powers. That’s when Loki appears among the reporters and charms them to focus on what the Iron Patriot does next. Norman Osborn then rushes in with Spellbreaker and stabs it into Absorbing Man’s chest. This undoes the enchantment that gives him his powers and strips him of the abilities of the Cosmic Cube as well. This causes all reality to snap back to normal, setting everything back to the way it was before the battle.[10]

Norman Osborn uses this turn of events to denounce Hank Pym’s team as lawless vigilantes. He also uses the moment to strip US Agent of his rank within the Armed Forces. While the Mighty Avengers protest against this, Hank tells them to stand down as they accomplished what they came to do. As he gazes over the crowd, Pym asks Cho to take a capture of the scene from the video feed being taken from his goggles. He then orders his team to retreat back to the Infinite Mansion. Sure enough, when he checks in with Amadeus and Jarvis they pulled up the image he scanned and it confirms what he had suspected at this point: Osborn is being assisted by Loki!

Recurring Characters

Mighty Avengers (Wasp, Quicksilver, Hercules, Jocasta, US Agent, Stature, Vision, Amadeus Cho), Dark Avengers (Iron Patriot, “Ms. Marvel”, “Hawkeye”, “Spider-Man”, “Wolverine”, Sentry), Absorbing Man, The Void, Loki, Ultron, Edwin Jarvis

Continuity Notes

  1. These fragments are from the Cube destroyed by Captain America in Captain America (vol. 5) #14.

  2. The Sentry has struggled with his mental health for years, his personality is fractured into two personalities: The heroic Sentry and his opposite, the Void. See Sentry #1-5, Sentry/The Void #1.

  3. Here, Karla says that she has been “reality punched” and remarks that it is the stupidest thing she has fucking heard of. This is a subtle dig at rival published DC Comics who, at the time had recently published Infinite Crisis #1-7. In that series, The character known as Superboy Prime was able to alter the reality of the Prime DC Universe by literally punching it.

  4. Karla started her career as Moonstone in Incredible Hulk #229. She and the other Dark Avengers took to impersonating previously established heroes when they joined Norman Osborn’s team in Dark Avengers #1.

  5. Ultron was last seen infecting SHIELD’s systems in Avengers/Invaders #6-8. Ultron’s creations all have an Ultron Imperative Protocol hard copied into their programming that allows Ultron to cheat “death” by making his them rebuild him. This was detailed in Avengers: The Ultron Imperative #1. Ultron created Jocasta in Avengers #162.

  6. Mac Gargan started his supervillain career when he was transformed into the Scorpion in Amazing Spider-Man #20. He later became the current host to the Venom symbiote in Marvel Knights: Spider-Man #10. He too began posing as Spider-Man in Dark Avengers #1.

  7. Here, Quicksilver refers to himself as a mutant, which is what everyone has believed since X-Men #4. In reality, as revealed in Uncanny Avengers (vol. 2) #4-5, he was actually experimented upon by the High Evolutionary (Herbert Wyndham) when he was a baby. In order to cover up his work, the Wyndham made it so future genetic tests would have Pietro register as a mutant.

  8. This version of the Vision gained sentience when Iron Lad downloaded the original Vision’s hard drives into his psycho-kinetic armor, as seen in Young Avengers #1-5. At that time, the original Vision had been destroyed in Avengers #500 (He’ll be rebuilt in Avengers (vol. 4) #19). When Iron Lad was forced to return to his future timeline in order to preserve history, he left his now sentient armor behind. During his time in the past, Iron Lad developed romantic feelings for Stature, which are on display here.

  9. At the time of this story, Norman Osborn was put in charge of national security after he killed the leader of a Skrull invasion of Earth in Secret Invasion #8. He will hold this position until Siege #1-4.

  10. Creel’s loss of power proves to be temporary, as he’ll have abilities again in Black Panther (vol. 5) #11.

Topical References

  • When the Wasp attacks Absorbing Man with his own weapon, he mockingly wonders if the Wasp’s next fight will be using a can of spinach against Popeye. Popeye is a comic strip character that has been published since 1929. He is a sailor who gains temporary strength whenever he eats a can of spinach. This wouldn’t necessarily be considered a topical reference since Popeye has long since entered the public domain and is regarded as a classic character.

  • One of the news cameramen on the scene is identified as working for Fox News, a “news” network that is infamous for spreading misinformation and far-right ideas. This should be considered a topical reference because this is (unfortunately) a real world TV network.

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Mighty Avengers #32

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