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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

New Avengers #55

New Avengers #55

One Week Ago

The New Avengers — Ronin (Clint Barton), Luke Cage, Spider-Man (Peter Parker), Wolverine (Logan), Spider-Woman (Jessica Drew), Ms. Marvel (Carol Danvers), Captain America (James Barnes), and Mockingbird (Bobbi Morse) — had attempted to lure Norman Osborn and his team of Avengers into a trap at the old Hellfire Club mansion. Instead, they were ambushed by the Hood (Parker Robbins)’s gang. Outnumbered, the team got away when Spider-Woman used her venom blast to super-charge Ms. Marvel, who then unleashed a powerful blast that knocked all the villains out long enough for them to retreat.

In the aftermath of the battle, Madame Masque (Whitney Frost) chided the gang members for relying too heavily on their powers instead of team work. This angers the Wrecker (Dirk Garthwaite) who questions the Hood’s leadership. Parker, however, reminds Dirk that because of him the entire gang is filthy rich. He then threatens to take it all away, silencing the Wrecker for the time being.[1] As the gang packs up to leave, Chemistro (Calvin Carr) finds the remains of a power dampener that the New Avengers attempted to use and they destroyed. The Hood tells them not to worry about it and sets their next meeting for that Friday. After the Hood leaves, Madame Masque has more recriminations for the Wrecker and his crew. Dirk dismisses it, telling her that they’ve held their own against the Hulk and the original Avengers.[2]

Thursday Night

Captain America (James Barnes) returns home from patrol to find the kitchen filled with dirty dishes, the bathroom a mess, and Wolverine (Logan) passed out on the couch. He is very annoyed by how his New Avengers teammates don’t clean up after themselves.

One Week Ago

Chemistro takes the damaged power dampener to criminal scientist Jonas Harrow. Harrow confirms that it is old Starktech and that it is used to dampen superhuman powers. He is confident that he can reverse engineer the technology, giving them an edge in the war of superpowers.

Friday Night

Spider-Man (Peter Parker) arrives at the New Avengers hideout to finds Jessica Jones nursing her daughter Dani. When she calls Peter by his real name he starts regretting revealing his identity to the team. Jessica assures Peter that his secret is safe with them and even suggests that her husband, Luke Cage, idolizes the wall-crawler.[3]

Meanwhile, the members of Hood’s gang show up for their scheduled meeting. The Wrecker is not surprised to see that neither Robbins nor Madame Masque have bothered to show up.[4] Dirk threatens to take his crew and go their own way. This is fine for the Living Laser (Arthur Parks) as this makes more money for them all. However, Jonas Harrow speaks up and tells the group that the Hood must be working for Norman Osborn but hasn’t told them yet. This doesn’t sit well with everyone, but Jonas says that working with Osborn is a get-out-of-jail-free card. He the suggests that they can cut the Hood out of whatever deal he made by offering him the power dampener he has managed to reverse engineer. All they have to do is send Norman a message.

Meanwhile, the Avengers are having a meeting of their own. While Cap tries to use this as an opportunity to talk to his teammates about cleaning up, the conversation continues to go elsewhere.[5] They talk about Wolverine’s absence, and their recent mission where they helped Doctor Strange.[6] The conversation then turns to Clint’s media war with Norman Osborn. Spider-Woman thinks that was the wrong move and Clint agrees, saying he should have gone to Avengers Tower and killed Osborn instead.[7] While Spider-Man protests this idea, the others agree that this is something that needs to be discussed. Peter can’t believe what he is hearing, and thinks that Clint is cracking up now that he is under the same pressure he faces as Spider-Man every day.[8] Clint counters this by saying that if Spider-Man had dealt with Osborn during his time as the Green Goblin, they wouldn’t be in this situation. The argument comes to an abrupt end when Cap gets a notification on his phone about a situation going on in Times Square.

When they go to investigate, they discover Chemistro randomly causing damage in the area. They have no idea what he is doing and suspect a trap. Still, Chemistro is endangering lives so they decide to put a stop to his rampage. As they approach the villain, their powers start to fail and those without any become violently ill and collapse to the ground. Luke Cage in particular feels a sharp stabbing pain in his heart. Soon all the New Avengers collapse to the ground. Chemistro watches in astonishment, surprised that the power dampener actually worked!

Recurring Characters

New Avengers (Ronin, Luke Cage, Spider-Man, Wolverine, Spider-Woman, Ms. Marvel, Captain America, Mockingbird), Hood’s Gang (The Hood, Blackout, Blood Brother, Brothers Grimm, Centurius, Chemistro, Corruptor, Crossfire, Cutthroat, Deathwatch, Doctor Demonicus, Griffin, Jonas Harrow, Madame Masque, Mandrill, Living Laser, Razor-Fist, Scarecrow, Shockwave, Slug, Tiger Shark, Wrecking Crew (Wrecker, Bulldozer, Piledriver, Thunderball), the Wizard), Jessica Jones, Dani Cage

Continuity Notes

  1. The battle between the Hood’s Gang and the New Avengers depicted here happened in New Avengers #50. The wealth that Parker is talking about came from a bank heist that the gang pulled off in issue #35.

  2. The Wrecking Crew first fought the Hulk in Defenders #18. Their infamous battle with the OG Avengers was during the siege on Avengers Mansion back in Avengers #273-277.

  3. The Peter Parker identity thing is complicated, so let me break it down for you:

    • Jessica mentions that she and Peter went to high school together (circa Amazing Fantasy #15), we learned this in Alias #22-23.

    • Peter complains that knowledge of his true identity will bite him in the ass like the Civil War. He is referring to when he revealed his identity to the public in Civil War #2 to show his support for the Super Human Registration Act. He later rescinded his support in issue #5 of that series, making him an outlaw. This led to his Aunt May getting shot in Amazing Spider-Man #538.

    • Peter managed to get the genie back in the bottle by making a deal with Mephisto to save the lift of his Aunt May. This cost him by making his marriage cease to exist, but it also made the world forget Peter Parker was Spider-Man as well. See the infamous Amazing Spider-Man #545.

    • Shortly thereafter, Peter was pressured to reveal his identity to his fellow New Avengers again in New Avengers #51.

  4. This is because they were defeated by the New Avengers last issue and were arrested.

  5. It’s mentioned here that Wolverine had to go back to San Francisco. This was where the X-Men were residing at the time of this story. They began living there in Uncanny X-Men #500.

  6. The New Avengers assisted Doctor Strange in finding the next Sorcerer Supreme in New Avengers #51-54.

  7. Norman Osborn managed to secure the role of America’s top cop after he killed the leader of a Skrull invasion of Earth in Secret Invasion #8. After forming a team of Avengers of his own in Dark Avengers #1, he earned the ire of Clint who attacked Osborn in the media, as seen in issue #50. Last issue, Osborn managed to spin this in his favor.

  8. Spider-Man has always had a negative public image dating back to Amazing Spider-Man #1. He has clashed with Osborn constantly since their first clash in issue #14 of that series.

Topical References

  • Captain America is depicted using a Blackberry cellphone. These were quite popular when this comic was originally published. However, the advent of smart phones quickly pushed Blackberry out of the market and the company went out of business. As such, its depiction here should be considered topical.

New Avengers #54

New Avengers #54

New Avengers #56

New Avengers #56