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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Peter Parker: Spider-Man #37

Peter Parker: Spider-Man #37

Snow Day

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Spider-Man has found himself high atop the Empire State Building freezing himself in the middle of winter. As he shivers in the cold he thinks about the series of events that led him to this monumentally stupid idea…

It all began at about 6:30 in the morning, Peter Parker is woken by his alarm clock radio to discover that he has come down with the a clod. He is delighted to hear a radio report that all the schools in New York have been closed due to the winter storm that is going on outside.[1] That’s when he gets a call from Aunt May who asks if Peter can come to her home in Queens and shovel the driveway. Unfortunately, no excuse and convince May to stop asking Peter to come out and shovel and so, Because public transit has been shut down as well, Peter is forced to change into Spider-Man to make the trek to Queens. Along the way, he ends up falling in the snow when his webbing fails to grip on some black ice on a flagpole.

At that same moment, a diamond store is being attacked by the Vulture. Although there are police on the scene, they are no match against the avian villain due to the near white-out conditions from the snow. Meanwhile, Spider-Man is forced to walk through the winter weather, cursing himself for not having a costume better suited for the cold. Adding insult to injury, Spider-Man is forced to flee the scene when some school kids playing in the snow decide to start throwing snowballs at the web-slinger. As Spider-Man runs around the corner of a building he runs right into the Vulture who is furious to see that Spider-Man is once more meddling in his affairs. The Vulture becomes enraged by Spider-Man’s jokes and attacks the hero. Spider-Man fights him off and tells the Vulture that he’s not interested in whatever the villain is up to because it’s so cold. However, when the Vulture lets slip that he just robbed a jewelry store Spider-Man realizes that he can’t let his villain go and chases after him. In the ensuing battle the pair struggle against the weather. Ultimately, Spider-Man rips open the sack containing the stolen jewels and they are lost in the snow below.

Furious over this, the Vulture warns Spider-Man that has thirty minutes to live unless Spider-Man defeats them at the site of their first battle and flees the scene. This is what brought Spider-Man to the top of the Empire State Building….

… As he finishes his recollection, Spider-Man is met by the Vulture who tells Spider-Man that they first fought at the Chrysler Building, not the Empire State Building.[2] The Vulture, having Spider-Man at his mercy, pulls out an uzi and is about to shoot Spider-Man.[3] However, Spider-Man didn’t come unprepared and the Vulture is ambushed by the Human Torch who quickly defeats the Vulture by burning away his wings.

Later that day, Peter is busy shoving Aunt May’s driveway when he hears a radio report calling for more snow. In response, he buries the radio under snow. That’s when Aunt May comes out and playfully hits Peter in the face with a snowball.

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, Vulture, Aunt May, Human Torch

Continuity Notes

  1. This is of interest to Peter because he started working as a science teacher at Midtown High in Amazing Spider-Man (vol. 2) #31.

  2. Spider-Man and the Vulture first fought in Amazing Spider-Man #2. They actually didn’t fight at the Chrysler Building, at least that’s not how the story was first depicted. They did fight over Midtown Manhattan. Since the two buildings are blocks away it could explain the mixup.

  3. When Spider-Man asks for o e last request, the Vulture quips that this isn’t an Austin Power movie. Such a dated reference should be considered a topical reference.

Peter Parker: Spider-Man Annual 2001

Peter Parker: Spider-Man Annual 2001

Peter Parker: Spider-Man #38

Peter Parker: Spider-Man #38