Spectacular Spider-Man #121
Eye Witness!
Peter Parker is having lunch with Mary Jane Watson and his boss J. Jonah Jameson when they are joined by Joe Robertson. Joe is surprised to see Jonah at the bar that the Bugle staff frequents, especially with Peter and Mary Jane. Mary Jane tells Joe that the three of them witnessed a bank robbery just moments earlier. When Joe tells her that eyewitness testimony is unreliable, Mary Jane assures him that she can tell him the whole thing as she remembers everything. Worrying that his secret identity as Spider-Man might be compromised if Mary Jane tells her tale he begins clearing his throat. However, Mary Jane kicks him in the ankle under the table and tells her version of events...
According to Mary Jane it all began when she joined Peter at the Daily Bugle building to collect his paycheck. On their way out they ran into J. Jonah Jameson at the elevator. In Mary Jane's version of the story, Jameson is cordial and flattering to Mary Jane, and Peter is grateful for his paycheck. Peter tells Jonah that he is going to the bank to cash his check and invited Jonah to join them for lunch after. Jameson accepts the idea but insists on picking up the tab. They stop at the bank first when suddenly a muscular man in military fatigues and a machine gun comes bursting into rob the bank. Although the armed man knocks out the security guard, he is immediately taken aback by Mary Jane's beauty. However, the gunman is reminded of his lost love. By this point, Jameson scolds the robber for terrorizing Mary Jane but is shoved over a teller's counter. The graceful Jameson lands on his feet, but before the gunman can harm him, Spider-Man arrives on the scene. The gunman opens fire, but misses Spider-Man and hits one of the bystanders. Furious, Spider-Man easily trounces the bank robber. Proclaiming the danger over, Spider-Man compliments Mary Jane on her good looks and leaps out of the door. With her version of events over, Joe Robertson comments that it is an interesting story.
After getting another round of drinks, Jameson explains that Mary Jane's story is correct but inaccurate. In Jameson's version, he bumps into Peter and Mary Jane just as he finishes telling an employee a story of his days as a hard-boiled reporter. In this version of events, Jameson is the one who invites Peter and Mary Jane out to lunch and offers to discuss a raise for Peter. At the bank, Jameson is entertaining a bank teller about his career when suddenly a gun-toting lunatic comes bursting into the bank to rob it. In Jonah's version of the story, the bank robber tried to force himself on Mary Jane when Jameson interrupted him. The gunman and bank patrons are surprised when Jameson introduces himself. When the thief tries to attack Jameson, he gracefully leaps out of the way. That's when Spider-Man arrived on the scene, but Jonah tells him not to interfere. While the gunman is distracted, Jameson karate chops his hand, making the crook drop his gun. The weapon goes off and Spider-Man cowardly leaps out of the way of the bullet. The wild shot hits a bystander as a result. Angered at almost being shot, Spider-Man beats up the thug and flees the scene. In the aftermath, everyone congratulates Jameson for his bravery, even Peter Parker who is honored that he is employed by Jonah.
After hearing this version of events, Joe Robertson notes how many drinks Jonah has had and questions his objectivity. He asks Peter for his version of events, but Mary Jane tries to convince Joe that Jonah's account of events was accurate. Joe pleads to Peter's sense of responsibility to provide an accurate account of events. Peter relents and tells his side of the story, as it is the right thing to do. In Peter's version of events, he is upset about how little he has been paid and Mary Jane suggests trying to get to know J. Jonah Jameson better. Peter is reluctant to this idea, especially when they witness Jonah reaming out an employee for taking time to get a drink from the water cooler. In this version of events, Jameson accidentally splashes Mary Jane with a cup of water. That's when Mary Jane convinces Jonah to join them for lunch. Wondering what kind of meal Peter could afford on his salary, Jonah insists that he pay. When they get to the bank, Peter carefully amends his story not to reveal the fact that he is Spider-Man. As he remembers it, Peter's spider-sense began warning him of danger when suddenly a nerdy looking guy with a pistol came into the bank in an attempt to rob it. The clumsy thief accidentally slams the door into the guard, knocking him out.
Seeing this danger, Peter manages to slip away to change into Spider-Man in the broom closet. While he is busy, the thief confronts Jameson and Mary Jane. Jonah is scared of the gun, but Mary Jane figures she can use her good looks to intimidate the gunman. Bashfully, the thief tells Mary Jane that he is Morty Phillips, and realizes that telling her his real name was a huge mistake. Jameson tells Morty that he made a big mistake, but cowers when the robber points his gun at Jameson. By this point, Spider-Man is climbing on the ceiling in the hopes of getting the drop on the crook. However, he is spotted by Jonah who shouts out Spider-Man's name. Hearing Spider-Man's name spooks Morty who drops his pistol on the ground. It goes off and the stray shot clips a woman's arm. Spider-Man leaps down and pulls Morty behind the cubical walls. While in Jonah and Mary Jane's versions of the story indicate that Spider-Man beat up the crook, in Peter's version Spider-Man actually tried to understand the shooter.
Much to Spider-Man's surprise, Morty Phillip is mentally ill. Unemployed for two years, Morty tried to rob the gun out of desperation. Even more surprising is the fact that the pistol in question only fired BB pellets. Spider-Man becomes fully convinced that Marty is not well when the gunman starts beating himself up. The wall-crawler then turns Phillip over to the police and leaves so he can change back into Peter Parker before anyone notices his absence. When Peter returned, he witnessed J. Jonah Jameson trying to take credit for the resolution of the situation. With his version of the story complete, Joe thanks Peter for telling it truthfully. However, Jonah is upset that Peter would glorify Spider-Man and angrily storms out. Mary Jane is unhappy as well, as she had buttered up Jameson enough she hoped that he would give Peter a raise. After Mary Jane leaves, Joe thanks Peter for his honesty and tells him to head up to the Bugle so the story can be re-written. Peter says he'll be along in a moment and thinks how he alienated his best friend and employer just to protect the reputation of a mentally ill crook. Especially since it affected his pocketbook. To add insult to injury, the waitress returns to the table and hands Peter the bill.
Continuity Notes
Jonah states that he wrote a story about actor Lyle Talbot in 1944. This should be considered a topical reference per the Sliding Timescale of Earth-616.
Jameson is telling a story about how he once smoked a cigar with Joe Pulitzer Jr.. This should also be considered a topical reference per the Sliding Timescale of Earth-616. Particularly since Pulitzer died in 1993.
