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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Spider-Man #87

Spider-Man #87

Enemies…. A Love Story?

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Spider-Man has found himself in a sticky situation, literally. While battling the Shocker and Trapster he was glued to Paul Stacy, a classmate of Peter Parker who absolutely hates Spider-Man. Now the wall-crawler is fleeing the scene with Paul in order to save their lives. The whole way Spider-Man complains to Paul about his current predicament, namely a bounty put on him by Norman Osborn after he was tricked into attacking his long time foe. When Stacy asks what the plan is, Spider-Man explains that he is going to try and put as much space between him and their pursuers as possible so he can think of a way to free themselves. Their flight proves sort lived when the Trapster blows up the building they are standing on, causing it to collapse. After bickering over their needs to rebuild their reputations, the Shocker and the Trapster decide to go down and search the rubble.[2]

While in Queens, Mary Jane is trying her best to treat Jimmy-6’s gunshot wound.[3] Jimmy insists that nobody calls a doctor, telling her that he’ll be fine and just needs time to lay low and think of a way to deal with the assassins that are after him. After crushing the phone with his bare hands he assures Mary Jane, her Aunt Anna, and Jill Stacy that he means them no harm.[4]

Back at the scene of the battle, the Shocker and Trapster dig through the rubble to find some trace of Spider-Man. The Shocker is still annoyed that the Trapster went overkill, making their attempts to collect the bounty on the wall-crawler that much harder. Below them, Spider-Man manages to shore up some of the rubble with a beam in order to give himself and Paul some more room to move around. There’s a brief moment when the wall-crawler thinks Paul isn’t breathing. Thankfully, Paul turns out to be fine and complains when Spider-Man is about to give him CPR. When Paul, as annoyed as ever, asks what they are going to do now, the web-slinger tells him that he has to think.

Back in Queens, everyone is starting to get hungry so Anna Watson goes into the kitchen to fix up some food, but not before Jimmy gives another stern warning about running. When Mary Jane asks why he is keeping them hostage, Jimmy explains that he has a lot of enemies that want to see him dead these days, but promises that he’ll be gone by morning. When Anna suddenly screams, Jimmy rushes into the kitchen. She tells them there is a man outside with a gun and the mobster just barely manages to get Anna out of view from the window in time. Once everyone is out of sight, Jimmy tells the women to stay put.

Back in the ruins, Spider-Man is searching for some way out of the rubble, telling Paul that they should go to Empire State University where they can mix up a solvent that will dissolve the Trapster’s glue. That’s when Spider-Man finds a drain that leads into the sewers. That’s when the rubble begins to shake as the Shocker begins using his vibro-gauntlets. Quickly, and while ignoring Paul’s protests, Spider-Man shoves Stacy into the sewer and just barely manages to get clear himself before the tunnel he dug is collapsed.

While back at the Parker home, Jimmy-6 listens by the back door to the house. When he hears someone on the other side he punches through the door and yanks the assassin inside. When he demands to know who hired him, the assassin bites down on a cyanide pill, killing himself before Jimmy can get any answers. The only clue he’s got to go on is a goblin tattoo on the assassin’s arm. Getting the lights back on, Anna and Mary Jane are shocked to discover that Jill had been shot during and they quickly call the police. When Mary Jane tells Jimmy that the authorities are on their way he’s already leaving the house. Before going, he tells Mary Jane that he figured out that the assassin wasn’t here for him and warns her to be careful.[5]

By this time, Spider-Man and Paul Stacy have made their way to a science lab at ESU. While Spider-Man’s chemistry knowledge impresses Paul, he tells the wall-crawler to get out of the way and let him handle the solvent mixture before he ends up with more Stacy blood on his hands. This is the final straw for Spider-Man who angrily tells Paul that he was not responsible for the deaths of his uncle George and cousin Gwen and that he truly cared about them.[6] Paul figures that while that may be true, can Spider-Man say that they would be alive today if he hadn’t got involved in their lives. Spider-Man is made speechless by this point of fact. Suddenly, his spider-sense goes off, warning them just in time to avoid a blast from the Shocker. Climbing up to the roof of the building, the Trapster tries to ambush them with a barrage of glue darts, but Spider-Man manages to get himself and Paul to cover in time. However, they are soon surrounded by both foes. When they try to move both Spider-Man and Paul discover their feet have been glued to the roof. However, before they can kill Spider-Man, the Trapster gets a call from their employer, Donovan Zane of the Friends of Humanity, who tells them that he will double their fee if they leave Spider-Man alive.[7] Not understanding why they agree to the terms and leave the wall-crawler alone. With their lives no longer in danger, Spider-Mand and Paul remove their shoes so they can go back downstairs and finish the solvent they need to free themselves. While at the headquarters of the Friends of Humanity, Donovan Zane gets off the phone. Around his desk, his men lay dead while a man with a gun lurks in the shadows. Getting off the phone, Zane tells this mystery shooter that the job is done. The man is pleased and tells Donovan that Norman Osborn appreciates his cooperation.[8]

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, Paul Stacy, Friends of Humanity (Donovan Zane), Trapster, Shocker, Mary Jane Watson, Jill Stacy, Anna Watson, Jimmy-6, Punisher (unidentified)

Continuity Notes

  1. Spider-Man was tricked into attacking Norman Osborn in Spectacular Spider-Man #50 allowing Norman Osborn to put a bounty on the wall-crawler’s head.

  2. The Trapster chastises himself for once calling himself Paste-Pot Pete. When Peter Petruski first became a criminal back in Strange Tales #104 he originally called himself Paste Pot Pete. He started calling himself the Trapster in Fantastic Four #38. However, he never fully lived down his original name.

  3. When Mary Jane calls Jimmy “Mister Fortunato”, he tells her that he doesn’t go by his family name anymore. Jimmy has been estranged from his family after protesting their move to join Hydra in Spider-Man #73-74. Jimmy was wounded last issue.

  4. Jimmy mentions that he was a friend of Peter’s “cousin” Ben. He is referring to Ben Reilly, actually Peter’s clone. Ben Reilly befriended Jimmy-6 back in Spider-Man #70-71.

  5. Jimmy-6 called Mary Jane “Mrs. Parker” here. At the time of this story, Peter and Mary Jane are married. However, years later, their marriage is erased from existence by Mephisto in Amazing Spider-Man #545. In the new timeline, they are engaged and a common-law couple. As such, in the new timeline, Jimmy would have called her Miss Watson instead of Mrs. Parker.

  6. Geroge Stacy died pushing a child away from falling rubble during a fight between Spider-Man and Doctor Octopus in Amazing Spider-Man #90. Gwen was later murdered by the Green Goblin back in Amazing Spider-Man #121.

  7. The Trapster is shown using a pager and a cell phone here. The use of a pager should be considered a topical reference per the Sliding Timescale of Earth-616 as it is an obsolete technology. Modern readers could assume that the Trapster simply got a call from Zane directly instead of answering a page.

  8. The man in the shadows is revealed to be the Punisher in Spider-Man #89. The reason why the Punisher is working for Osborn is that he is suffering from amnesia after surviving an explosion in Punisher (Vol. 3) #17.

Spider-Man #86

Spider-Man #86

Spider-Man #88

Spider-Man #88