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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Astonishing Spider-Man and Wolverine #3

Astonishing Spider-Man and Wolverine #3

Another Fine Mess Part Three

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In the distant future, Wolverine is all that stands between the planet Earth and Doom the Living Planet. Armed with the Phoenix Gun, he reflects on his life, and even though he has done enough to fill 10 lifetimes he wonders where time has gone. Slashing his way through Doom’s robotic drones, Logan climbs up onto the remains of the Statue of Liberty and prepares to shoot.

Not far away, Spider-Man wakes up after being knocked out and realizes Wolverine took the gun from him. He races to stop Logan from ending his own life but only arrives in time to see Logan pull the trigger on the Phoenix Gun. As its bullet — containing the Phoenix Force itself — leaves the chamber, Wolverine’s body is instantly incinerated. The bullet streaks into the air and destroys Doom in a single shot. Spider-Man races to where Logan was but all he finds are the Phoenix Gun and a pile of Adamantium bones.

While the ape-like citizens of Earth celebrate Wolverine’s noble sacrifice, Spider-Man retreats to his lab where he tries to get the Cosmic Cube working. Somewhere else, Logan wakes up in a dark void. He is a little boy again and he hears a voice calling out to him. The voice is that of his mother and she beckons him to come to her. Logan realizes that he has never wanted anything more in his life. Meanwhile, in the world of the living, Spider-Man has managed to jump-start the Cosmic Cube. Realizing he can make anything happen just by thinking of it, he begins thinking of all the things in their world he could fix, including the death of his Uncle Ben.[1] However, before he does anything he decides to bring Wolverine back from the dead. Focusing on the bucket of Adamantium bones, Peter hugs the Cosmic Cube and wills his friend back to life. This is just as Logan is taking his mother’s hand and being brought into the afterlife.

Being suddenly brought back to life just moments before he was about to find eternal peace enrages Wolverine. He attacks Spider-Man who doesn’t understand why Logan is so angry. Already on his own last nerve, Spider-Man begins fighting back. The pair are unaware that they are being watched by two individuals lurking in the shadows. Although the leader of this group wants to kill them, one of his minions reminds him that their master won’t allow it. Instead, the leader of the gang hits both Spider-Man and Wolverine with his baseball which is encrusted in time-traveling diamonds.

Logan suddenly finds himself backstage at a wrestling match. His agent puts a mask over his head and ushers him into the ring where he is to fight Spider-Man.[2] Meanwhile, the real Spider-Man finds himself in the middle of a wintery forest with meat tied around him. When he looks up he sees Wolverine and a pack of wolves have found him.[3]

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, Wolverine, Elizabeth Howlett (spirit), (unidentified) Czar, Big Murder

Continuity Notes

  1. Ben Parker was shot ba— YOU KNOW WHEN THIS HAPPENED! I SHOULDN’T NEED TO REPEAT WHEN THIS HAPPENED!

  2. Ugh, fine this is a reference to Amazing Fantasy #15 where Peter Parker tried his hand at wrestling. See also Spider-Man: With Great Power.. #1-5.

  3. Early on in his life, Wolverine ended up retreating into the wilderness where he lived with a pack of wolves. See Origin #1-6 and Origin II #1-5.

Astonishing Spider-Man and Wolverine #2

Astonishing Spider-Man and Wolverine #2

Astonishing Spider-Man and Wolverine #4

Astonishing Spider-Man and Wolverine #4