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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Spider-Man's Tangled Web #1

Spider-Man's Tangled Web #1

The Coming of the Thousand Part 1

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In a diner, Carl King fumes about how Peter Parker got super-human powers when it should have been him. These thoughts are coming as he watches Spider-Man battle the Rhino in the street from the diner window. Unaware that he is being watched by someone who knows his secret identity, Spider-Man jokes about the Rhino while evading the villain, sending the Rhino into a fit of rage. Ultimately, Spider-Man tricks the Rhino into throwing a truck that has been attached to some webbing. Eventually, the elasticity of the webbing causes the truck to snap back and crash into the Rhino, knocking him out long enough for the police to take him into custody. As Spider-Man is being congratulated for his victory, Carl King continues to ruminate over Parker’s getting powers that he thinks are rightfully his and vows to take them back.

Later that day, Peter is visiting his Aunt May, who is upset that Peter did laundry and mixed whites with colored clothing resulting in a bunch of her linen getting stained. One, in particular, was an Irish tablecloth that she received on her wedding and is irreplaceable. This makes Peter feel terrible, but May dismisses it saying there is no reason crying over it. When Peter tells her that he’ll be attending fashion awards with a model named Skye and her friends.[1] This gets May reminiscing about how her late husband, Ben Parker, loved to dance.[2] She recalls how the first thing she and Ben did when he came back from serving in the military was go out dancing.[3] Peter asks his aunt to show him how to dance and the pair waltz as May sings to herself.

Later, Carl King is walking the streets of Manhattan, continuing his thoughts about Peter Parker. He thinks back to how he and Parker used to go to elementary school together. Carl took perverse joy in bullying Peter. He thinks about how happy those days made him and as he approaches the Daily Bugle, he figures those days will be coming again soon.

Inside the Bugle, J. Jonah Jameson is on the rampage again as Peter is trying to sell his photos of Spider-Man’s battle with the Rhino. Unfortunately, Jameson isn’t interested in buying them as a battle between Spider-Man and the Rhino is old news and tells Peter to get him something new.[3] This leaves Peter in a lurch since he is broke and needed the money from selling the pictures. That’s when Jess Patton, Jonah’s secretary, offers to convince Jonah that they could actually use the pictures. Peter thanks Jess and leaves the Bugle.

The Patton woman ends up working so late that she is the only left at the Bugle when she decides to wrap things up for the night. As she gets up to leave, she is attacked by Carl King who grabs her and tosses her into a supply closet. Fearing for her life, Jess tries to fight back but a kick to the groin and a face full of mace don’t even phase King, who has decided that Jess will suit his needs. Suddenly, his jaw unhinges allowing his mouth to open wide. From inside, thousands of tiny red eyes look out at Patton who wants to know what he is. King calls himself the Thousand and soon Jess Patton begins to scream. Soon, all that’s left of Carl King is nothing but shredded skin as he has now taken possession of Jess Patton. Emerging from the closet in his new body, Carl King thinks how soon he will go for Peter Parker.

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, The Thousand, Rhino, Aunt May, J. Jonah Jameson

Continuity Notes

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1. The reason why Peter is going to a fashion event without Mary Jane is that this story takes place shortly after Mary Jane decided to take time away from Peter and his life as Spider-Man in Amazing Spider-Man Annual 2001.

2. Mention is made of the death of Ben Parker. You should know this happened in Amazing Fantasy #15.

3. May specifically states that Ben fought in World War II and came home May of 1945. These should be considered topical references since May and Ben are humans with normal life spans that existed in the modern age. Modern readers should interpret this as Ben has served in the military, but not anyone specific conflict. One could assume that, per History of the Marvel Universe #1, Ben Parker might have fought in the Sin Cong Conflict, however that is a matter of interpretation as Marvel hasn’t said anything one way or the other.

4. Jameson suggests that something newsworthy would be capturing then Microsoft CEO Bill Gates laughing like Satan and then-Vice President Dick Chaney holding his chest and gasping. These references should be considered topical.

Spider-Man's Tangled Web Primer

Spider-Man's Tangled Web Primer

Spider-Man's Tangled Web #2

Spider-Man's Tangled Web #2