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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Superior Spider-Man #5

Superior Spider-Man #5

Emotional Triggers

Following the massacre at a Burger Town location in Westchester, CEO Miranda Pullman has been dodging calls from the press. She then calls one of her PR people and demands they do something to mitigate the damage. That’s when Massacre, the man responsible for the shooting, announces his presence in her home. He then starts making a pitch to her about how to better promote Phizzy Cola. He points out how past campaigns used old footage of American icons to sell their product and how they weren’t received well. He then shows her his vision, an advertising campaign that uses images of Adolf Hitler promoting the competition. He then offers to go into the heart of New York and just start murdering people while wearing the competitors logo, all for 12 million dollars. He concludes his pitch by saying you can now buy bad publicity.

Elsewhere, Uatu Jackson — with much reservation — finally gives Spider-Man access to his facial recognition software. Downloading it into his spider-bots he is quickly connected to the entire city. The spirit of Peter Parker is watching this and doesn’t like how Otto is tanking his reputation like this. With this settled, Otto leaves to other business, much to Peter’s protests. Landing on a nearby rooftop Spider-Man changes into his street clothes to meet with his new tutor Anna Maria Marconi. When he first meets her, Otto is surprised to discover that she is a little person. Once that initial surprise is out of the way “Peter” tells her that he has come to let her know that he doesn’t require her services and asks her to stop leaving messages for him.

Anna Maria disagrees and invited “Peter” in to have a meal she prepared. Otto is surprised to see that she has made a very delicious involtini. She tells him that she is a “science chef” who applies her knowledge of chemisty and physics to prepare perfect dishes. Soon enough they are going over some of their class materials. Otto impresses her with his knowledge of Unstable Molecules, and takes the opportunity to knock Doctor Lamaze’s understanding of the subject. Otto is impressed and is convinced to continue these tutoring sessions. Anna Maria then treats “Peter” to some desert, telling that he has earned it.

While back on patrol, Spider-Man is completely blown away by Anna Maria’s way in the kitchen. Peter Parker can’t believe that Otto is chowing down while Massacre is still on the loose. That’s when Otto’s phone vibrates, telling him that one of his spider-bots has located Massacre at Grand Central Station. Otto then calls Chief Pratchet to tell him the news and to have the MTA to clear out the area. Peter is actually impressed by how Otto is handling this situation but is bothered when Otto says he’ll be there in 10 minutes when it will only take 5. This is because Otto has looked at Peter Parker’s memories about his encounter of Massacre and learned that he often hides hostages at a second location.[1] Using the lenses in his mask, Otto tracks their location by following the signal from Massacre's remote detonator.

He soon arrives at a Mocha Cola warehouse where workers have been tied up to explosives. As he begins to work at disarming the explosives, Otto finds it interesting that he is now saving lives when, not so long ago, he attempted to extinguish all life on Earth.[2] Once everyone is free, Spider-Man begins heading toward Grand Central Station. There, authorities try to arrest Massacre, prompting the lunatic to begin opening fire on them. At the mayor’s office, J. Jonah Jameson hears of the violence and demands to know where Spider-Man is. That’s when Otto arrives and saves a kid from the line of fire. As he evades Massacre’s shots, Peter freaks out at him for allowing other people to get shot. Not hearing this, Otto tels himself to focus and lungest at Massacre. His blow knocks one of guns out of his hands.

That’s when Massacre threatens to blow up the hostages elsewhere only to discover, the hard way, that Spider-Man already saved them. Otto shocks Peter by picking up Massacre’s gun and shooting him in the shoulder. When Massacre tries to reach for his other gun, Spider-Man crushes his hand under his foot. Holding the gun at Massacre’s head, Otto suddenly feels a sense of exhilaration. Of all the times he has killed people none of them have felt quite so final as pointing this gun. With the situation escalating quickly, Peter pleads with Otto not to kill someone with his own hands.

With his rage growing, Otto asks the crowd what he should do: web up Massacre so he can eventually escape and kill again, or put an end to him here and now. One of the people winged with a bullet tells Spider-Man to end it. Massacre suddenly begins to feel fear and begins crying for the first time since the accident robbed him of all emotion. Peter takes this to mean Massacre is cured and pleads with Otto to spare his life. However, Octravius calls him a killer and that will never change and there is only one solution and pulls the trigger.

Watching the news coverage is Miranda Pullman who is relieved that this is all over and that the shooting at Grand Central instead of Burger Town and figures the worst is over. That’s when a swarm of spider-bots enter the room and shut off her lights. Hijacking her television feed, Spider-Man reveals that he knows all about her bloody deal with Massacre. He tells her to confess her crimes or suffer the consequence as his spider-bots begin closing in on her. Otto then gloats over being able to see everything that is happening in the city. He now thinks it is his power and responsibility to judge them all.

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, Massacre, Peter Parker, Anna Maria Marconi, Uatu Jackson, J. Jonah Jameson, Norah Winters (voice)

Continuity Notes

  1. As he did in Amazing Spider-Man #656.

  2. When he was still trapped in his dying body, Otto attempted to wipe out the Earth by increasing climate change. See Amazing Spider-Man #682-687.

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