64705678_10157722991506490_777492954360053760_o.jpg

Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Thor #343

Thor #343

If I Should Die Before I Wake…

New York

Fafnir the dragon is on a rampage in Manhattan in an attempt to draw out his mortal enemy, Thor. The National Guard is called in to deal with the monster but they cannot hold the creature back. Lorelei watches the news coverage from her penthouse apartment and wonders when Thor will make an appearance, as she has plans to enthrall the thunder god.

Antarctica

Thor is away from the city because he has been called to a time lost Viking village located on the South Pole. There he has defeated its last survivor, Eilif, who hoped to trick Thor into killing him in order to secure his seat in Valhalla.

Unfortunately, this did not work out as planned and Eilif fears that he will die of old age and lose the glory he so desperately seeks. Hearing the plight of this last Viking, Thor decides to help him out. He calls out to Odin asking to make Eilif his shield bearer so that he may fall in battle in a way befitting of those who seek the glory of Valhalla. Odin answers with a large blast of lightning to signal the arrival of Thor’s chariot — pulled by his goats Toothgnasher and Toothgrinder — as well as Cloudrider, the ebony Pegasus ridden by the Valkyrie, for Eilif to ride into battle.

Asgard

Karnilla has returned to her castle after once again being rejected by Balder. She is furious over Balder’s current mental state following his brush with death and blames Loki for doing this to him.[1] When Haag mocks Balder, Karnilla takes offense and orders her out of the room. Still, Balder’s current sullenness has left the Norn Queen wondering if winning Balder is still a worthy prize to win and vows to make Loki pay for what he has done.

Antarctica

Eilif is shocked that Odin would send one of the most prized horses of the Valkyrie to Earth for him to ride. However, he doesn’t feel worthy as he is an old man and no longer the strong warrior he used to be. Thor tells Eilif that a warrior’s death is not easily won and to have confidence. In order to make up for his age, the thunder god has Eilif touch his enchanted hammer, Mjolnir. Upon doing so, some of its power is transferred to Eilif, revitalizing his body. This gives the Viking renewed confidence and bravery.

Before they depart to seek a battle to fight, they are visited by an old man, who has come to bless Eilif’s spear before he and Thor go into battle. Eilif himself doesn’t realize that this was Odin himself until the mysterious old man suddenly vanishes.

Elsewhere Beyond the Fields we Know

The massive demonic entity is nearly finished forging his massive sword. As he works he thinks of an appropriate name to give his blade and decides on calling it Twilight.

New York

Fafnir continues his rampage across the South Bronx, easily shrugging off the attacks of the National Guard. That’s when Thor and Eilif arrive on the scene to do battle with the monster. Knocking the dragon down with a blow from Mjolnir and dodging his flames, Thor warns Eilif that this battle will not be an easy one.

Asgard

At the foot of the Bifrost Bridge, Heimdall continues his eternal watch when he spies one of Odin’s ravens, Munin, being pursued by a shadow. Heimdall chases off this living darkness saving the bird’s life. When Munin collapses on the bridge, Heimdall wonders what happened to its brother, Hugnin, and fears that this is a bad omen to the realm of Asgard.

New York

The battle between Thor and Fafnir the dragon rages on. As Thor struggles to contain the monster, Eilif begins to feel the power given to him by Thor has started to fade. When the thunder god is knocked into some building, Eilif leaps at the monster with the last of his strength and manages to stab his spear through the dragon’s armored plating and pierce its flesh. Experiencing great pain, Fafnir angrilly swats the mortal away. Seeing the spear jutting from Fafnir’s flank, Thor leaps up and slams it deeper into the monster with Mjolnir. This is enough to cause Fafnir to topple in defeat.

With the monster vanquished, Thor looks for Eliif and is horrified to discover that he was killed in battle. Mourning his newfound friend, Thor builds a funeral pyre to cremate Eilif’s body. As Viking tradition calls for a dog to be put at the dead Viking’s feet he places Fafnir’s corpse instead. Thor then calls for a powerful storm to appear and a blast of lightning sets the pire alight, incinerating both Eilif and Fafnir in a blaze of glory.[2] Odin then dispatches the Valkyrie to collect Eilif’s soul and take it back to Valhalla, his great reward.

Returning to his apartment in his civilian identity of Sigurd Jarlson, Thor mourns the loss of Eilif when he is visited by Lorelei in her mortal identity of Melody. She has come to thank him for saving her life in an earlier battle with Fafnir and has brought a special drink for them to celebrate.[4] Seeing how stiff Sigurd look she offers to massage his back and tells him to take off his shirt.

Recurring Characters

Thor, Fafnir, Eilif the Dragon Slayer, Odin, Heimdall, Surtur, Lorelei, Karnilla, Haag, Chuck Cherkle, Valkyrie (Hildegarde, Grimgerta, Krista), Toothgnasher, Toothgrinder, Muninn

Continuity Notes

  1. Loki had tricked Hoder into firing an arrow made of mistletoe at Balder — his only weakness. This put Balder in state near death between Thor #274 and 301. During that time, his soul was imprisoned in Hel where he witnessed unspeakable horrors that left him fundamentally changed as a result.

  2. This is not the end of Fafnir as the monster will return again in Thor #486-488 as part of an army of deceased Thor foes brought to Earth by Melakith.

  3. The Valkyrie that appear here are not mentioned by name. Their identities are confirmed in Official Index to the Marvel Universe: Thor.

  4. Fafnir used Lorelei as bait to lure Thor into battle in Thor #341. Thor doesn’t know that “Melodi” is Lorelei who has come to Earth to try and seduce Thor back in issue #340.

Topical References

  • This story states that the South Bronx is a “wasteland of empty tenements”. This story was written during a time when the Bronx was undergoing heavy urban renewal. This has long since finished and thus this should be considered topical.

  • The original twin towers are depicted as part of the New York City skyline in this story. This should be considered a topical reference as they were destroyed in a terrorist attack on September 11, 2001. They have since been replaced by the Freedom Tower.

Thor #342

Thor #342

Thor #344

Thor #344