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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

New Thunderbolts #13

New Thunderbolts #13

Ditch

Today

Member of the Commission, including Dallas Riordan, Val Cooper, and Henry Gyrich. It is a recording of Spider-Woman (Jessica Drew) communicating to her teammate, Luke Cage about a recent ambush on their headquarters….[1]

Yesterday

In Manhattan, the Thunderbolts — Songbird (Melissa Gold), Atlas (Erik Josten), Speed Demon (James Saumders), Joystik (Janice Yanizeski), Radioactive Man (Chen Lu), and Photon (Genis-Vell) — find themselves fighting the new Doctor Spectrum. The heroes have their work cut out for them as Spectrum’s Power Prism makes her a difficult opponent to defeat. However, the Prism suddenly runs out of power and shut down.[2]

Without her powers, this Doctor Spectrum is quickly knocked out. In the aftermath of the battle, Songbird is interviewed by reporter Brie Larmer who wants to know why Blizzard (Donny Gill) and Mach-IV (Abner Jenkins) were not present for this battle. Mel tells her that Donny is working on improving his suit, while Abner is re-couperating from his injuries after their recent battle with Purple Man. She goes on to say that they’ll be back when they are ready. Listening to the broadcast while he is upgrading his flight suit. He bitterly commends Melissa by being able to both tell and avoid the truth at the same time.[3]

At CSA headquarters, the organization is paying close attention to the Thunderbolts public approval ratings. According to Dallas Riordan’s research, the group is nearly bullet proof from negative PR. Still, Carol Danvers doesn’t like this plan, but Gyrich insists it is necessary as he doesn’t trust a team of Avengers that are not supervised by the government.[4][5] Seeing no other option, Danvers agrees to the plan.[6]

That evening, Dallas Riordan pays a visit to Thunderbolts Headquarters and tells Songbird that the CSA wants the Thunderbolts to attack the New Avengers. Melissa is shocked at this request, but Dallas insists that it is necessary unless the T-Bolts want to find themselves under the same scrutiny. On her way out Dallas runs into Atlas, and he apologizes for taking back the ionic power that allowed Dallas to walk. He also assures her that he is having Chen look into how to give it back. Dallas thanks Erik for trying but tells him to be careful as having all of his ionic energies have never been a good fit for him.[7] After Dallas is gone, Songberg calls a team meeting to discuss their next mission.

Meanwhile, Mach-IV is out testing his new upgrades. As he passes by Avengers Tower, he is almost knocked out of the sky when Iron Man, the Sentry, and a Quinjet blast off answering a bogus emergency call. Abner is surprised when he is caught in a web, but this isn’t the work of Spider-Man. It’s actually his former Thunderbolts ally, the Fixer (Norbert Ebersol) who has come to make him an offer he can’t refuse.

Soon, the New Avengers — Iron Man (Tony Stark), the Sentry (Bob Reynolds), Captain America (Steve Rogers), Luke Cage, and Spider-Man (Peter Parker) — arrive in Sandy Hook, New Jersey, where they come upon what appears to be the massive Red Ronin robot. However, the massive robot suddenly disappears in the blink of an eye. That’s when Spider-Man’s spider-sense begins going off. Before he can warn Captain America, their Quinjet is smashed to pieces by the massive fist of Atlas. The Thunderbolts then split the Avengers so they can fight them one-on-one.

Songbird takes on Captain America, who doesn’t know why she is attacking them when she was once offered membership once. Melissa figures that would have gotten her killed, just like Hawkeye.[8] While Spider-Man deals with Speed Demon, Luke Cage ends up in Atlas’ grasp, who quickly tosses Luke out into the ocean.[9] Lastly, Radioactive Man fights Iron Man and Photon clashes with the Sentry.[10] When it becomes clear that the Thunderbolts aren’t going to stand down and listen to reason, a full on brawl breaks out between the two teams.

While the New Avengers are away from home, Joystrick is tasked with breaking into Avengers Tower. It proves easy to break in and Janice is surprised that there appears to be no type of security. However, she is proven wrong when she is ambushed by Spider-Woman (Jessica Drew) the only member of the Avengers unaccounted for.

By the following morning, the CSA are aware that the battle is well underway. It turns out that they have sought out some outside help on this mission. Hank Pym, one of the founding members of the Avengers![11]

Recurring Characters

Thunderbolts (Songbird, Atlas, Photon, Speed Demon, Joystick, Radioactive Man), New Avengers (Captain America, Iron Man, Luke Cage, Spider-Man, “Spider-Woman”, Sentry), Warbird, Dallas Riordan, Val Cooper, Henry Gyrich, “Hank Pym”

Continuity Notes

  1. This is not the real Spider-Woman but a Skrull impostor named Veranke. She took Spider-Woman’s place in Giant-Size Spider-Woman #1. This will be revealed in Secret Invasion #1-8.

  2. Speed Demon says that he and the Power Prism go way back. This is because he used to fight along side the original Doctor Spectrum as a member of the Squadron Sinister, as seen in Avengers #69-71.

  3. The Thunderbolts fought the Purple Man in New Thunderbolts #10-12, Abner was seriously wounded by the Swordsman in that battle. Abe’s bitter because Melissa demanded to be team leader if she was going to return to the Thunderbolts. She had quit the team back in issue #7 after discovering that Abner was taking money from Hydra to fund the group in the previous issue. As for Blizzard, he has been fired from the team because Melissa never really liked him, something we’ll find out next issue.

  4. Here, Val Cooper mentions how Gyrich hates the Thunderbolts. This is because they interfered with his plot to eliminate every super-human using nanites. See Thunderbolts #36-50.

  5. The original Avengers had disbanded following the events of Avengers #500-503. Since then, Iron Man formed a new team that was independent of any government bodies. See New Avengers #1-5.

  6. It is mentioned here that Carol used to be a member of the Avengers. She has been a member of the group on and off since first joining the organization in Avengers #183. Most recently, she left the Avengers to become an agent of the Department of Homeland Security, as seen in Avengers (vol. 3) #65-69.

  7. Dallas and Erik have had an on-again-off-again relationship over the years which started back in Thunderbolts #6. Dallas was crippled during a fight with the Crimson Cowl back in Thunderbolts #42, which left her confined to a wheelchair. It is mentioned how the two were merged together. This happened affter Atlas blew up in Thunderbolts #47. His love for Dallas drew him back to the world of the living and the two were merged together in issue #56. The two were eventually separated in Thunderbolts #74, with each one maintaining a share of his ionic powers. This changed when Atlas was depowered following the events of Avengers/Thunderbolts #1-6. When the reformed Thunderbolts were battling Fathom Five, Atlas willed his powers to come back in New Thunderbolts #1, condemning Dallas to her wheelchair again, as we saw in issue #8.

  8. Melissa was offered a spot on the team in Avengers/Thunderbolts #1-6. Songbird mentions how Hawkeye (who led the Thunderbolts from Thunderbolts #21 through 74) had died recently. That was in Avengers #502. What Melissa doesn’t know is that Hawkeye was resurrected during the events of House of M #1-8.

  9. Luke Cage mentions the time he beat Erik, back when they were both fighting over the name Power Man. That was in Power Man #21.

  10. The mental states of both Photon and Sentry are brought up here. The details:

    • Photon was, at one point, driven mad by his Cosmic Consciousness from Captain Marvel (vol. 5) #1 through 18. He just recently went over another bout of mental instability caused by the Purple Man between New Thunderbolts #1 and 12.

    • The Sentry has suffered from mental health problems as detailed in Sentry #1-5 and Sentry/Void #1 and New Avengers #7-10.

  11. Yes, Hank Pym was a founding member of the team back in Avengers #1. However, this is not the real Hank Pym, but a Skrull spy named Criti Noll who took his place in House of M #1. This will be revealed in Mighty Avengers #17.

Topical References

  • Dallas notices that Atlas is still wearing the same Axe body spray. This should be considered a topical reference as this is a real world product.

New Thunderbolts #12

New Thunderbolts #12

New Thunderbolts #14

New Thunderbolts #14